Financial Choices

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

I was thinking of making it an actual holiday present but that might be a good idea.

The anxiety involved with all of this is ridiculous though.

Anyone wanna buy me a few therapist sessions? Lol.

I know my guilt is permanent.  The messed up part is how easily I forgave myself and how disturbed I am with the entire scenario/scenery of life lessons evolving between my father, I, and my Son.

It is like a fractal pattern.

I almost feel scared for my son...  except I think he'll grow old and die in a better world.

But my father and maybe I may not get that pleasure.

I actually dislike shopping. It makes me think a lot more than usual.  It depresses me I guess.  I don't know.

I wanted to spend money on my mom but I think I'll change that to...  buying a new stove...  and a new toaster oven.  A good 450+ expense, plus an attempt to help my mom with the house expenses.

Dunno how home owners are expected to cope when the paychecks get smaller, taxes go up, and my stuff starts breaking down and I've barely enough money to keep my stuff from breaking down -_-

I need to leave this country