[split] "Some people eat animals, some don't."

[Minyatur]

I think it's something that has always been part of me. I have always been the type to martyr myself for others while still strongly striving for my own individualism.

However, when I was younger and when there was less social need to interact with others I kept myself separate because I always felt I took on too much from others. I couldn't stand to touch people because I'd receive huge psychic impressions and empathy, I could feel in to their souls. That's still true enough although now I know how to limit the effect.

The truth is that I have had very uncommon views from a very young age. I spent much of my childhood in other bodies and astral traveling. I have always known that I am incarnate and that I have many other lives. I have always known that I can manipulate energy and telepathy is real. I always knew I came here to accomplish a specific task.

When I was younger I was super zen. I had many natural yogic abilities (such a virtual immunity to cold) and had such a strong awareness of my divine self.

Then the depression hit, and things are muddled. I discovered my deep dark side, my potential for greatness, power and selfishness. There is a violence in my being that I do not let out. Were I to allow myself to become corrupt it would be a nasty piece of work.

The truth is that I am being pulled betwixt light and darkness and neither seems to be letting up. The constant need to balance myself is exhausting.

Well that is exactly why I have upmost respect for you, because you've thrown yourself into this very early into your incarnation as a way to work more deeply on your soul.

Personally I do want to open myself to become as you are yet meet so much resistance that I end up always slowing the process down again and again. I am scared to face my depressed view of this Universe and experience it, I am sacred to open myself to other's energies and feel their pain as my own, I am scared of becoming aware of my oh so many inner demons and deep rooted negative emotions. Within myself exists so many inner conflicts that make me do a step forward and then a step backward.

Well things have started to move forward and I do hope to resist the changes less and less so that I can incarnate my divine self in a pure way. 

So my words to you all empaths (aion, monica, diana in this thread), you are great souls that do inspire me a lot. 

*I invoke Plenum Scissorhands*