[split] "Some people eat animals, some don't."

[Diana]

I think it's something that has always been part of me. I have always been the type to martyr myself for others while still strongly striving for my own individualism.

However, when I was younger and when there was less social need to interact with others I kept myself separate because I always felt I took on too much from others. I couldn't stand to touch people because I'd receive huge psychic impressions and empathy, I could feel in to their souls. That's still true enough although now I know how to limit the effect.

The truth is that I have had very uncommon views from a very young age. I spent much of my childhood in other bodies and astral traveling. I have always known that I am incarnate and that I have many other lives. I have always known that I can manipulate energy and telepathy is real. I always knew I came here to accomplish a specific task.

When I was younger I was super zen. I had many natural yogic abilities (such a virtual immunity to cold) and had such a strong awareness of my divine self.

Then the depression hit, and things are muddled. I discovered my deep dark side, my potential for greatness, power and selfishness. There is a violence in my being that I do not let out. Were I to allow myself to become corrupt it would be a nasty piece of work.

The truth is that I am being pulled betwixt light and darkness and neither seems to be letting up. The constant need to balance myself is exhausting.

I relate very closely to almost all of this and get how crazy hard it can be. And right now things are extra challenging astrologically. We are all dealing with "our stuff."

I for one am very glad you are here at B4.