Law of One Religion?

[Parsons]

Many people responding to you with reasonable tone and content often get responses that we are 'audacious' 'rude' 'disrespectful' and 'offensive'. We 'cross the line', 'fan the flames'. 'How dare we', 'who are we to' disagree with you. In reaction you are 'stunned', 'personally attacked', and 'called names'.

Here are just a few examples:

That is rather audacious, for you to tell me why I think a certain way, after I repeatedly told you that I don't think that way. Who are you to tell me what I think?

Gary, you walked into this conversation with veiled jabs, and immediately fanned the flames of discord.

OMG NO!!!! WHY do you keep insisting it's about disagreement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????

I don't care if others disagree! I don't expect agreement!

and one of your conclusions, it seems, is explained in Post 225. Your conclusion, though, is exactly what I was saying.

WTF??? Post 225 does the exact opposite! It lists examples of fundamentalist thinking! It says NOTHING about disagreement!

Diana, am I just way out in left field here? Am I grievously misreading Monica?

Gary, you are crossing a line here. Have things changed so much since the days when I was mod? Back then, I would NEVER have asked another member to analyze some other member publicly!

And as mod, I would NEVER have analyzed any member publicly! We handled matters privately as much as possible. I haven't violated any guidelines, and you know that. And even if I did, this isn't the right way to go about it. You don't have any right to add fuel to the fire, and let people think it's OK to start analyzing someone. A lot of what happened in this thread started with you and got perpetuated by you, by your continual insistence that I expect others to agree with me, despite me telling you repeatedly that it has nothing to do with agreement.

I am stunned!

 

There are different ways to explain why you clash with others here.

From my own limited view in the corner of a very big room, it’s not so much the convictions, per se, but how you go about the discussion process.

That's just bullshit and you know it, Gary. You know damn well that in the early days of the meat discussions, my comments were exceedingly polite and it DID NOT MATTER. It never mattered how nicely I stated my views. I got exactly the same reaction back then as I do now.

So don't start telling me it's because of 'how' I 'go about the discussion'. That's just BS.

You are showing your own biases here, Gary. You dare to publicly confront me...for WHAT??? For remaining firm on my convictions? While you ignore people who directly, blatantly call me names? which is a direct violation of the guidelines!

So it's ok for people to call me a bigot and other vile things - that is OK??? But it's not ok for me to express my own views in my signature?

PS: I seldom create threads, but were I to create one, and were it to veer from its intended course, I might diligently and gently shepherd it back to its original course. Or attempt it.

I DID attempt it! REPEATEDLY!!! I am astounded that you dare to tell me that, when I attempted it numerous times and you are one of the people who took it off-course!

I direct you once again to this exchange:

http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthrea...#pid170808

You are creating your own dogma then attempting to control this community through moral guilt (you said it was "wrong" to eat meat). JUST LIKE RELIGIONS DO.

It is disrespectful to continue to accuse me of having the motivation to control this community. Rude, disrespectful, and offensive.

You seem to very, very often play the 'victim' card:

The Poor Me

The most passive of the control dramas is the victim strategy, or what I have called the Poor Me. In this drama, rather than competing for energy directly, the person seeks to win deference and attention through the manipulation of sympathy.

We can always tell when we enter the energy field of a Poor Me because we are immediately drawn into a particular kind of dialogue in which we are pulled off center. Out of the blue, we begin to feel guilty for no reason, as though we are being cast into that role by the other person. The individual might say, "Well, I expected you to call yesterday, but you never did," or "I had all these bad things happen to me and you were nowhere to be found." He might even add, "All these other bad things are about to happen to me, and you probably won't be around then, either."

Depending on the kind of relationship we have with the person, the phrases might be shaped around a wide range of subject matter. If the person is a work associate, the content may refer to his or her being overwhelmed with work production or meeting deadliness situation with which you are not helping. If the person is a casual acquaintance, he or she may just pull you into a conversation about how rotten life is going in general. Dozens of variations exist, but the basic tone and strategy are the same. Always it is some kind of bid for sympathy and an assertion that you are somehow responsible.

The obvious strategy in the Poor Me drama is to throw us off balance and win our energy by creating a feeling of guilt or doubt on our part. By buying into that guilt, we are stopping and looking through the other person's eyes at his or her world. As soon as we do this, the person gets to feel the boost of our energy added to his or her own and so feels more secure.

Remember that this drama is almost completely unconscious. It flows from a personal view of the world and a strategy for controlling others adopted in early childhood. To the Poor Me, the world is a place where people can't be counted on to meet one's needs for nurturing and well-being, and it is too scary a place to risk pursuing these needs directly or assertively. In the Poor Me's world, the only reasonable way of acting is to bid for sympathy through guilt trips and perceived slights.

Unfortunately, because of the effect on the World of these unconscious beliefs and intentions, very often the same kind of, abusive people the Poor Me fears are exactly the ones that they allow into their lives. And the events that befall them are often traumatic. The universe responds by producing exactly the kind of world the person expects, and in this way, the drama is always circular and self validating. The Poor Me is caught unknowingly in a vicious trap.

Dealing with the Poor Me

In dealing with the Poor Me, it is important to remind ourselves that the purpose of the drama is to win energy. We must begin with the willingness to consciously give the Poor Me energy as we talk with him; this is the fastest way to break the drama. (Sending energy is a precise process that we will discuss in Chapter 9.)

The next thing we must do is to consider whether the guilt trip is justified. Certainly, there will be plenty of cases in our lives when we should feel concern over having let someone down or sympathy for someone in a difficult situation. But these realities must be determined by us, not by someone else. Only we can decide to what extent and when we are responsible to help someone in need.

Once we have given the Poor Me energy and determined that we are facing a control drama in action, the next step is to name the game - that is, to make the control drama itself the topic of conversation. No unconscious game can be sustained if it is pulled into consciousness and placed on the table for discussion. This can be done with a statement such as, "You know, right now I feel as though you think I should feel guilty."

Here we must be prepared to proceed with courage, because while we are seeking to deal honestly with the situation, the other person might interpret what we say as a rejection. In this case, the typical reaction might be "Oh, well, I knew you really didn't like me." In other cases, the person may feel insulted and angry. It is very important, in my opinion, to appeal to the person to listen and to continue the conversation. But this can only work if we are constantly giving this person the energy he wants during the conversation. Above all, we must persevere if we want the quality of the relationship to improve. In the best case, the person will hear what we are saying as we point out the drama and be able to open up to a higher state of self-awareness.

So, at this point, I hope you read this quote carefully and examine your own behavior. I honestly feel like when someone composes a well thought out post and you respond by being 'offended' by everything they say, you may be semi-subconsciously wanting them to feel guilty. I will definitely respond to your posts point to point intelligently in the future if you are willing to have a fair and rational conversation with me and stop constantly playing the victim.