My story.

[Spaced]

Pardon me if this is off base Phoenix, but it sounds to me like you spend too much time in your head. Try spending time in your body instead.

Allow yourself to enjoy the simple pleasures of the body without too much interference from the mind, without judgment. Try to feel the joy of breathing fresh air, the pleasure of physical activity and being in nature, the comfort and relaxation provided by a hot bath, etc.

Forget about higher realities and metaphysical drama for a time and reconnect with your earthly existence and the simple pleasures available here.

I only offer this perspective because I went through a period where I was having a lot of pain in my heart and was feeling a lot of doubt and emotional turmoil and it turned out that it was because I was spending too much time in my mind traveling down blind alleys and distorted trains of thought where my heart could not follow. I was trying to seek connections to higher realities while my connections to this reality suffered. There must be a balance if you're going to get anywhere, you need a firm foundation if you want to build anything lasting

Feel free to disregard this if you feel it doesn't apply.