Why I am not a vegan

[Unbound]

My feedback system with myself doesn't really work in this way. When I recognize that another choice would have been wiser it usually comes with a sense of "D'uhh", rather than any sense of guilt over having taken the "wrong" action. I always acknowledge that my taking the "wrong" path was revealing to me the truth of myself towards the choices. That being said, sometimes I continuously take the "wrong" path and meet the same reminders, then over time I eventually am conscious enough to choose another way.

Have you ever had someone close to you die, especially unexpectedly (eg: sibling, wife)? (Not someone old.)

Yes, one of my best friends was killed, hit by a drunk driver. The sorrow and pain I felt then has absolutely no resemblance to guilt or "remorse".