Joy and Inner Restlessness

[AnthroHeart]

But the greatest joy was when I felt unconditional love in my heart. It made me cry, because I felt unworthy of it. I felt no inner restlessness then.

...

I'm not sure if I want to experience that unconditional love to that intensity again because it makes me feel unworthy.

where do you think that sense of unworthiness comes from?

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for me, a lot of that particular distortion (the sense of unworthiness) is triggered by shame and guilt, which in turn can be triggered by other things, so there is a chain of negative vibes or emotions, of which some are just permutations of each other, but others have distinct 'ranges' or vibrational tones, if I could describe it that way.

as I've gone about addressing those guilt/shame issues, the related sense of 'unworthiness' is triggered less and less often - that emotion of 'I don't deserve this, or I am not good enough to be in this space with that other person etc etc'.

I don't know if it's a direct balancing measure but unworthiness and gratitude seem somehow linked as well.

The sense of unworthiness came because I'm a man, and feel I don't measure up to the love that was shown to me. I have some guilt over how I have lived. One main regret, but I think this experience of unconditional love happened before I made that one mistake. Perhaps it was a gift from my higher self, showing me that I'm loved, despite what I do. I did feel like I didn't deserve the love.