Adventure/Huge Life Changes [update]

[Nicholas]

Marc what a wonderful story! It resonates with me in so much that you met your soul tie and are working towards unity. The great leveller in my life is my fiancée who gracefully tolerates my mood swings and 'just so' biases. I am often left feeling humbled and so very lucky to be with her as I am a romantic at heart and was brought to life when we met. I will be writing my story tonight so maybe one day you can read my account. It sure is an unusual one! Love and Light brother

Hello all,

I really appreciate this site and how full of love everyone is. I love that there is a place to share our story on this forum and read others'. I hope I can keep my writing concise and to the point and not got too far out.

When I started this incarnation I was born into an independent-fundamental-baptist-church-going family. I know, it's quite the mouthful... Basically it is a super extreme branch of Christianity. You know, woman have to wear dresses, man have to have short hair, "if you don't believe what I believe, the way I believe it, you're going to hell!!" Crazy stuff really.

I guess I chose a lot of fun catalysts for this incarnation. My hands were/are definitely full of opportunities to learn and grow.

My dad was a closet homosexual his whole life growing up in that kind of environment and tried to "fix" his urges with getting married. He was a pastor, started a church and had my brother, sister and I. His mind kinda split apart into different personalities and was a pastor and husband on one side, and a partying gay on the other. Anyways, long story short he eventually got found out/came out and all the church people hated and rejected him. He ended up hating himself so much that he went extreme and was with so many different people that he contracted HIV and full blown aids and passed away when I was 6 yrs old. (Aids wasn't very treatable then) He was a wonderful person but never was loved or accepted his whole life for who he was. It taught me a startling truth about the need for love and acceptance. It was a whole bunch of drama in the family and just recently there has been reconciliation for the past and healing for old wounds.

I grew up with the most extreme step-dad in religious fundamentalism, and has quite a traumatic childhood. But throughout it all I always sought truth and had a deep connection to the supernatural and had vivid visions and dreams of spiritual things. In all of the dogmatism I learned great lessons and wouldn't have it any other way. My higher self was always taking care of me. It also, took a lot of forgiveness to move forward out of that pain. Even times now I look back and I feel tender wounds and have to forgive again

I eventually got free of that cult-church I was in and started thinking for myself and going on my own journey. I always had found peace, god, and truth in nature and praying/meditating in the forest alone. I started going to a charismatic church and saw spiritual things happen and got in touch with spirit. (With certain distortions, of course..)

I also got in touch with my creativity and started writing songs. I started working with another songwriter and within three years of writing with her we became close friends.

The church I was at was starting to use me for my talents and I was starting to realize my time there was coming to an end. I then quit an internship at the church (of which I was working 80hrs a week at for free) and my music partner felt she needed to move back home to seattle.

She told told me of her plans to move back home and at that exact time I had just cut the last ties to working at the church and also an unhealthy relationship. I knew in my spirit that I was supposed to be (working) with my music partner and asked to follow her home. She was ecstatic to have me come along. Then I had a vivid dream of the opposition I would receive from my family and friends for my decision to leave. The dream had many details I wrote down and every part came true. I also had multiple songs I had written that actually true within this time. I had a vision of my music partner and I becoming close. I was having crazy synchronicities confirming my faith filled decision of leaving home for a feeling in my spirit. I visited seattle (her hometown where I was planning to move) with my partner and then we fell in love on the trip and all my dreams, visions, and intuitions came together and made sense. Three years before she even know anything about me she had a dream that I dropped everything and followed her and was her soulmate. I randomly asked when she had the dream and it she checked her journal and it was on my birthday! She hadn't even known me back then.

So anyways we planned a road trip to drive to seattle from Chicago land area (my hometown). We ended up getting married in Vegas on the way to seattle (best road trip ever!) and had no jobs or place to live set up. We stayed with her parents and within two weeks of being in seattle we found an apartment and both of us got jobs after our first interviews. It was basically the archetype of the fool jumping on faith and the air solidifying. We were provided for every step of the way.

We tried church hopping to find community and friends in this new place and found a church and stayed there for a while. But my purpose of this season was awakening. I started seeking everything I could and found out the bible never once mentioned hell. It shook my world and I started seeking more. I soon stumbled across David wilcock's website and the stuff he was talking about really resonated and had scientific proof backing it. Of course it led me to the Law of One materials and when started reading book one I couldn't stop reading. Everything made sense!

I was immediately excited about my new-found knowledge/enlightenment and shared it with my wife. But she wasn't in a place to receive it. It brought a huge strain to our marriage and offered huge catalyst for me to learn about free will. She was trying to fit me into a duality mindset and I just couldn't see things as right and wrong anymore like a traditional Christian.

We then had much communication to work through these changes and just recently she is coming around to accept me and work together spiritually. She's very wary and fearful about Ra teaching me stuff, but she's been growing as have I in communicating in a way to bring unity in our views instead of division.

I awoke to my being a wanderer in reading "A wanderer's Handbook" and then it was as if light flooded my mind and I was awake. I'm now meditating, reading and soaking up spiritual literature, and working on tuning my chakras. I've started to know myself, accept myself , and become the creator. It's all about the process. I've basically become a new person since I awoke fully. I'm now seeking to find community with like-minded people, and seeking my spiritual teacher.

Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry if my story is a little scattered.

Love/light to all,

Marc

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Oh Agata I know all about the anger! I have disturbed myself right to the core by researching the horrors of what is occurring. Much love and light to you sister

Great post of heroic mind. It's sometimes hard to maintain this level of heroism and compassion.

"Add to that the natural evolutionary state of being of most humans, and the ignorance of higher states of existence, and you have an environment which the more evolved human states of being are forced to tread in very cautious, and ever studious, manner.

This world will not be kind to us, and we will not fit into it in its presently manipulated state."

I agree and it makes me so so sad... I can very easily imagine a world where thigs are harmonious. This is such a beautiful, rich planet.

"The natural world wherever you can find it untainted by the extremes of self satisfaction, will be the only true place where you will feel at home."

So it feels, that's why often feel lonely. We are still at least part humans - social animals.

"We are not really so different. We just appear 'holier' because of our unified interest in the spiritual."

Yes, the fact that we connect a little bit more doesn't make us better people.

"Do not let anyone attempt to stand between you and the honest impression you manage to acquire of matters and persons which you interact with. That person either deliberately, or unwittingly, attempts to put an end to your sharing, disabling the sacred eye which was formed, and imposing their will upon you.

It is okay for someone to disagree with you, or to attempt to show you where you might be wrong, and to challenge the disagreement between you and they.

But it is not okay for them to expect you to feel guilt for coming to particular impressions of matters which you have studied and encountered.

And when you attempt to share those impressions, feel free and unencumbered to do so in a loving way, in the hopes that further learning will present itself as the reward."

Oh, it's so hard!

They often do it because they are afraid. What we connect with is pretty shocking - how many even of us went through (and keep going through) shocks as we realised and connected with deep knowledge. Knowledge which contradicts the current scientific paradigm.

I can understand the aggressive, fear-based reactions but they still make me sad. They also make me angry, helpless, tired and wanting to go home. I stopped preaching long ago but sometimes just saying what I see terrifies people.

Thank God for this forum, I sometimes think I am going crazy and it helps me to reset those silly thoughts.

Stand tall. Be loving. Share.

Anybody wants to connect, here is my email agataradha@gmail.com

xx Agata
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