Never be afraid to ask for help

[Fang]

I will not be believed but there is pain and hopelessness in me that could only have normally been built over 1000s of lives. I did it in 20 years.

lol, please. Do you really think you are the only person who deals with suffering and that your "suffering" is of a caliber so high others would only experience it through the process of 1000s of lives? Dude, wake up. That's possibly one of the most self indulgent things I've ever heard in my entire life. It's rare that people at a pity party actually have problems but pretending you do always works as a nice little cop out. And nothing constructive comes out of a pity party.

Voices in my head tell me the pain I have had is so unique that it makes them cry in agony.

You didn't hear voices until sought them out right?

I refuse to be molded

There's that issue with authority again.

I will become a martyr for a new age of self-respect

]When the entity Jehoshua decided to return to the location called Jerusalem for the holy days of its people it turned from work mixing love and wisdom and embraced martyrdom which is the work of love without wisdom

May we note that martyrdom is not necessarily helpful.

Lol what is the point of that Adonai?

Yeah, ask for help but you won't get help unless you honestly lay out what's required rather than some mythical tale.