I'm in a little bit of a similar place with you.
I was at University and had panic attacks. What I would class as severe ones because they lasted for hours not minutes. So I stopped my University, and came home to live. From an astrological perspective, this happened when Pluto crossed into my 10th house. Which is known to be a position for Pluto where it makes itself known. I had originally wanted a simple job and to be 'normal' when I came back from University (so the desire then was a girlfriend and an alcoholic social life.). But applying for a minimum wage job seems to be like playing a scratch card. I found it difficult to carry on applying when there was no chance of getting a lot of these jobs. After more than two years or so, I exhausted my desire to fight the 'negative forces', that being the job centre. When a non fighting solution might be to lie about having applied for a job, or to apply without an aggressive aim. I proudly went in having done the job searching and confronting the people that worked there with the facts on the economy. (Based on a rather complex and likely incorrect idea of positive and negative).
Eventually on my self improvement I had to kick my habit of alcohol. Which was so strong but had basically remained unseen. I did get a job recently and I was aggressively bullied; and when I say aggressively I mean it. They then claimed I did things I didn't do and fired me. Essentially, when it comes down to it, I have had to continually work on myself, because a lot of these problems that I have worked on would have got me sooner or later. I have stopped alcohol, caffeine, sugary foods outside medical needs, and just recently masturbating, which is how I can naturally wake up at 8:30 and come on here!
I'm worried about my mother, so now I have done some much needed work on myself, if things go the 'Wilcock way' as I'm hoping (he's talking about a change in society.) Somehow my mother can gain a bit of a break; because she is a bit of a workaholic, and has a talent for finding these people that desperately need her and having to do extra work. But perhaps I can make things OK for her simply by handling tasks that she might have to do. As for getting a job myself, I really don't know. I have applied for hundreds! And employers currently seem to be bullies since they have all the power and they know it, my health in my last job fell apart pretty sharpish when I was subjected to more stress than I volunteered for (that woman didn't care about contracts or fairness), since I have pretty good instincts on my own health. I also seem to be subjected to unusual stresses for instance, thinking constantly of this sort of information, auric seeing and other third eye sensations.
I was at University and had panic attacks. What I would class as severe ones because they lasted for hours not minutes. So I stopped my University, and came home to live. From an astrological perspective, this happened when Pluto crossed into my 10th house. Which is known to be a position for Pluto where it makes itself known. I had originally wanted a simple job and to be 'normal' when I came back from University (so the desire then was a girlfriend and an alcoholic social life.). But applying for a minimum wage job seems to be like playing a scratch card. I found it difficult to carry on applying when there was no chance of getting a lot of these jobs. After more than two years or so, I exhausted my desire to fight the 'negative forces', that being the job centre. When a non fighting solution might be to lie about having applied for a job, or to apply without an aggressive aim. I proudly went in having done the job searching and confronting the people that worked there with the facts on the economy. (Based on a rather complex and likely incorrect idea of positive and negative).
Eventually on my self improvement I had to kick my habit of alcohol. Which was so strong but had basically remained unseen. I did get a job recently and I was aggressively bullied; and when I say aggressively I mean it. They then claimed I did things I didn't do and fired me. Essentially, when it comes down to it, I have had to continually work on myself, because a lot of these problems that I have worked on would have got me sooner or later. I have stopped alcohol, caffeine, sugary foods outside medical needs, and just recently masturbating, which is how I can naturally wake up at 8:30 and come on here!
I'm worried about my mother, so now I have done some much needed work on myself, if things go the 'Wilcock way' as I'm hoping (he's talking about a change in society.) Somehow my mother can gain a bit of a break; because she is a bit of a workaholic, and has a talent for finding these people that desperately need her and having to do extra work. But perhaps I can make things OK for her simply by handling tasks that she might have to do. As for getting a job myself, I really don't know. I have applied for hundreds! And employers currently seem to be bullies since they have all the power and they know it, my health in my last job fell apart pretty sharpish when I was subjected to more stress than I volunteered for (that woman didn't care about contracts or fairness), since I have pretty good instincts on my own health. I also seem to be subjected to unusual stresses for instance, thinking constantly of this sort of information, auric seeing and other third eye sensations.
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