T.I.T. (the interpretation thread)

[reeay]

I had these dreams many, many years ago (teenager years):

I was very much in love with a man on a wheelchair. We met by the train station and he had to leave me. I begged him not to go and held his hand hoping he would stay. I woke up crying because it was a 'goodbye' dream. For years this dream stayed with me.

The man (my animus/masculine aspect) was disabled. I felt rather helpless and unable to do anything about my life during this time. I think I was in love with the 'disabled' side of me... (it's easy to be stuck in one's inner storm bc it creates this fuel for creativity and self-understanding... easy to be comfortable in darkness). After this dream I realized that I couldn't just sit around and mope but had to do something actively to change the situation I was in. Yep, I did say goodbye to disabled anima.

Also had dreams about my mother leaving me during this period of my life. Mother being love/nurturance/ caring aspect, I did feel abandoned and distance from 'love'. Interestingly, altho mothers tend to symbolize love and other motherly things, my actual mother to me symbolizes more paternal influence lol. She is the 'authoritah' (cartman's voice). Nevertheless since I did expect her to nurture me and did not feel she gave me enough nurturance, dream-mother leaving did symbolize a sense of abandonment & loss/grief... of being orphaned psychologically. Kind of relates to my little voice that said my parents were not my parents - a symbol of feeling disconnected from nurturance/orange ray kind of love (attachment).


Added: this was really a loss/grief period in life - like I went thru emotional death and had rebirth bc few years later I was in another 'space' emotionally (uplifted).