2007.01.07 letting go of the self concept

[We are God]

When you contacted intelligent infinity, were you provided the choice to continue on to the next density?

It wasn't worded as such. I was simply asked whether I wanted to return here or not. I chose to, so that I could be of spiritual benefit to others. Why waste the rest of this incarnation?

Unfortunately, I'm having a pretty tough time with it. It's almost like volunteering to do it while you're sober, and then getting really drunk and then trying to do it. At times, I feel like such an idiot for returning, but if put in the same situation again, I'd most likely do the same thing anyway.

I'll try to describe the overall experience for you, but please understand: I only remember bits and pieces. I apologize in advance for providing such an inadequate explanation.

I don't remember enough about the onset to even bother describing it. I may have blacked out but I'm really not sure. I can say though, that while interacting with the entity, I was still in this body.

The entity was very interesting. The only way I can describe their form is like when you've stared at something bright for too long and it creates that weird light effect on your retina. It's not exactly like that, but it's the best description I can give. They were made of this strange light that was really fluid and ever-flowing, and more bursting with life than anything I'd ever seen.

This entity was entirely impersonal, just like I was at the time. They didn't give a name, but they really didn't need to -- their presence alone said everything. It was so amazing and ineffable that being with them, even just for one timeless moment, made it worth being born.

I may have walked the steps of light but I'm really not sure. The LOO material doesn't describe it well enough for me to confirm with certainty. There definitely was an ever-increasing intensity at some point, though. It eventually got to the point where, in comparison to life in 3rd density, it was like walking on the Sun, just, you know, without the whole melting part.

Anyway, I'd like to clarify something, because I'm making it sound like they communicate with words when that's not the case. It's some type of concept transfer.

I learned so much -- it felt like eons worth of experience -- but again, I can only consciously remember bits and pieces. I wrote some things down but lost the file; not that it matters much anyway, LoO is pretty much the same thing expressed differently.

Overall, I would describe the experience not as a graduation, but as an initiation. In martial arts, the black-belt isn't actually considered the end, contrary to popular belief, it is rather the beginning of your journey -- it is when you are no longer hindered by your inability.

This experience is what really got me into LOO. I think I knew what it was at the time, but I don't think I knew much about it. I'm very grateful to LOO because it not only validated my experience, it has also allowed me to better understand the workings of it. Thank you.