2004.05.02 Learning how to process catalyst

[Sacred Fool]

Two ideas from all this jump out at me. First...

There is an endless search within each for reality, the reality of the self, the reality of the life, that which is the ground of being. You shall never find it. You can only find images of it. You can, however, be the ground of being. You can be essence. You can be so much more than you can say! And in many ways the doing, the thinking, the working with catalyst and the whole process is aimed at delivering you at last to being.

I find this concept very beautifully expressed. What the seeker seeks is not something which can be found extrinsically, nor is it found in doing, per se, but at the nexus point of all these: at the place where seeking and doing combine to allow us to feel the pulsation of our underlying being...or something like that.....


The other is this:

The energy of one who has run afoul of catalyst and is struggling can be focused in one of two ways. It can be focused in trying to stay afloat or it can be focused in trying to get out of the cup of soup. Climbing the slippery china walls of your cup is not easy and it requires far different skills than treading water. However, those who tread water shall be doomed to repeat the exercise, never being allowed to drown and never, while treading water, able to garner the energy that is required for the tremendous effort needed to break the pattern and create a ladder of will and discipline that allows you to clamber over that china cup and get out of the soup. There is no question that it is easier to tread water, stay in the soup, and repine concerning the difficulty that one is in than it is to gather the energies and create, by will and faith alone, that ladder out of the situation and back to a sense of owning the self and not being a victim of circumstance.

How interesting it is to contrast emphasizing survival with emphasizing the humility and perspective necessary to let go of the above mentioned shadows (the soup, i.e., discouragement, sadness, etc.) and drift back into a place of accepting, glowing love.

For me, personally, this gives a handy sketch of a fallacy I find that I've been laboring under in a big way as I move more deeply into shedding the skills I've developed over the millenia that have helped me to survive as a wanderer launched back into 3D. Releasing those "survival skills" (such as instinctive competitiveness and other isolating tendencies) actually seems to catalyze (as it were) the process of building that ladder out of the soup.

For me, though, the sensation is not one of climbing, more like having my spark plug wires rearranged so that my firing order is more balanced, which enables me to do more work.