A call for help.

[Parsons]

I have analyzed all of my chakras. All of them except my orange chakra are at near positive totality. My orange chakra is only at 1/3 capacity or under in regards to radiation. The causes of this are simply a semi-concious desire to overcome and control emotions and desires at an early age. This leads to a huge bottleneck going into yellow-ray.

This alone will not cause the issues I am experiencing. I have talked out most of my personal issues with my fiancee. They do not go beyond basic control of my self-expression. This will not lead to the physical symptoms I am experiencing. I am not actively rejecting catalyst in my life beyond my lack of ability to accept my own emotions at an unconcious level. I happily accept what comes in my life and have maintained a sufficiently high polarity because of it.

I am actively protesting suggestions made in this thread because there is a strong implication I lack intelligence and self-awareness. It is implied that I am incapable of handling the catalyst of daily life and that I am incompetent and immature in this regard. This is not the case. I have simply neglected my self-expression and reduced it to a machine-like, nihilistic state. Despite this, I have retained an open heart. I am not truly stressed but rather emotionless in my internal self-resistance which can lead to instability when emotion is expressed.

I feel I have been judged with smug self-assurance and finality, partially and in full. This is reasonable given the unlikely probability of my situation.

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I personally have felt exactly the same way about this community in the past.

That is actually a large chunk of the reason why I decided that it made more sense to just ignore determining whether or not a problem was internal or external in origin. I kept getting hung up on that and realized it didn't matter if I could treat the problem the same way irregardless if it was internal or external.

For the record, even the most 'spiritually advanced' individuals will have to balance the lower chakras from time to time. My personal view of the matter is that ALL of us are working through various distortions / catalyst. As soon as you work through some catalyst and genuinely 'fix' a distortion that is causing 'negative' catalyst, your higher self will start focusing on another issue and start throwing repeating, ever intensifying catalyst at you for the new issue.

I know you are probably intellectually aware of many of these concepts (including the statement I am about to make), so I apologize if I am repeating information you already know. But you can know and understand a concept intellectually and not integrate it into your being. I have been burned by this several times since awakening, including recently. I have even had concepts that I thought I had fully/properly integrated come back to haunt me because I started unconsciously moving back towards familiar behavior patterns.

This may all sound like a nice way of saying "you're projecting internal problems on external entities", but I assure I am not. I am saying I have no idea if your problems or my problems are external or internal, but both have the same remedy.