A call for help.

[Adonai One]

I have analyzed all of my chakras. All of them except my orange chakra are at near positive totality. My orange chakra is only at 1/3 capacity or under in regards to radiation. The causes of this are simply a semi-concious desire to overcome and control emotions and desires at an early age. This leads to a huge bottleneck going into yellow-ray.

This alone will not cause the issues I am experiencing. I have talked out most of my personal issues with my fiancee. They do not go beyond basic control of my self-expression. This will not lead to the physical symptoms I am experiencing. I am not actively rejecting catalyst in my life beyond my lack of ability to accept my own emotions at an unconcious level. I happily accept what comes in my life and have maintained a sufficiently high polarity because of it.

I am actively protesting suggestions made in this thread because there is a strong implication I lack intelligence and self-awareness. It is implied that I am incapable of handling the catalyst of daily life and that I am incompetent and immature in this regard. This is not the case. I have simply neglected my self-expression and reduced it to a machine-like, nihilistic state. Despite this, I have retained an open heart. I am not truly stressed but rather emotionless in my internal self-resistance which can lead to instability when emotion is expressed.

I feel I have been judged with smug self-assurance and finality, partially and in full. This is reasonable given the unlikely probability of my situation.

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Adonai, I've been trying to avoid asking how you and vervex are doing because I didn't want to seem nosey, lol.
But.. how are you two doing? Are you all settled in yet?

We are laughing at how probably a good portion of you guys think our relationship is strained because of the angsty stuff I post on here. We're more than settled-in. Our relationship grows daily.