Reverting to the orange ray

[Parsons]

Well... This reaction didn't last long! Shortly after this reaction, there came dark, dark heaviness, and I felt in a very intensive way, and still do, being unworthy of this position, of this employment! There came images and thoughts and emotions in my mind, one after one, of why I was unworthy of this position too. I wanted to cry!

Ankh, I don't think this is anywhere nearly as bad as you are making it out to be. You do seem to be working out a (mostly) orange ray issue, but that does not mean you are reverting to orange ray just because that is what you are currently working with. I think the functioning of the chakras is akin to the maintenance of a car. Just because something falls out of tune occasionally doesn't mean there is something seriously wrong with the vehicle.

I recently went through something close to this with getting a new job which paid better, has better benefits, and is an all around better company and workplace. I also have had some difficulties with self worth and happiness since getting this position despite it being what I asked for (I was barely scraping by paycheck to paycheck before). I redoubled my efforts of self acceptance and this issue has lessened quite a bit.

This is so sad, and brings me so much suffering... I so much want to dwell in the green ray - in a stable and steady way. I would even give up all proceeding into any other higher rays, as long as I would just reach the green one, and stay there (always)! No other ray is more important or desirable by me than this one. But nope!...

Sorry guys, I am just so depressed right now... And this moment should be of light and joy!

I also experience intermittent green ray issues where I feel quite cold and impatient on occasion, so I can certainly commiserate on that point as well.

I always attempt to strive towards green ray but I know it is very important to have all chakras balanced with each other and that no chakra is any more important than another.

The overriding lesson I always come back to is just not being so hard on myself when I stumble a bit. We are all learning and steadily improving and I think most (if not all) of this community is doing a good job of polarizing positively. We are not immune to intense catalyst, however, and we all have our rainy days.