what does being overweight mean?

[Brittany]

I was always extremely skinny growing up (super fast metabolism), then when I was in college I got put on pills that made me gain 80 pounds. My all out low point was a doctor talking to me in the hospital and basically saying "You're fat. You should eat better." As if I hadn't noticed I was overweight. It made me feel like she saw me as a bad person just because of the weight. Like I was doing something wrong.

When I went off the pills I lost most of the weight, but about 20 pounds it refused to go and I'm still working with it. It is a constant way to judge my level of discipline and motivation in a very real way. The weight caused me a lot of shame and depression and I feel like there is definitely a metaphysical principle behind the lot of it. If anything it has made me look at the respect or lack thereof I have for my body. I feel one reason I've kept the weight on is due to blockages in lower rays involving depression, suicidal thoughts and thoughts of low self-worth. As these blockages clear, I feel more motivated to work out and eat healthy and cause my outside to mirror my inside.

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And just to clarify, I am aware of what a healthy body weight for my height is. I'm not trying to get down to 90 pounds again. I just want to feel healthy.