08-14-2013, 01:40 PM
The judgement/acceptance/approval/disapproval thing is a difficult thing when it comes to balance.
A certain level of discernment (which some might call judgment, but I would say on a type of discernment can become judgement) is very important on your journey in balancing. However, associating severe undesirability with unbalanced or distorted states is harmful to balance in and of itself - I'm moving to a place where I see unbalanced states as oh dirty dishes to clean up - something to be done, but something outside of approval or disapproval (approval/disapproval is a plenum said and interesting concept, and I think an unnecessary one). The practice of identifying perceived imbalances within the self or other is a useful discernment ability.
However, the moment we decide that another possesses a perceived imbalance and that we should correct or help correct it is when the discernment can run afoul of judgment and reflect a lack of acceptance for the free will of the other self.
It's a delicate balance for me. I find it immensely useful to use my discernment to identify imbalances within myself or others. But with myself, I can move about to change these things in a nonjudgemental fashion. With others, there is something about communicating unsolicited advice (which I have definitely been guilty of) that turns that discernment to judgement and becomes a less useful thing that increases our lack of acceptance for the free will of the other being. When I say unsolicited advice, I mean advice that is unsolicited in the core of the other being - you can ask for advice and not want advice, or you can not ask and still desire advice deeply. Before, I guess I would practice discernment, then try to always "help" the other self with my realizations until there was discussion or resistance, and then move to acceptance of the outcome and the other self's decision. I think it is more useful to I wish to practice more of discernment, and then acceptance of the other self in it's current beingess , and only giving thoughts or advice when truly desired. It's so hard to navigate those waters. But I'm learning. Manny definitely helped in that way, and for that I am eternally grateful. Thanks man!!
A certain level of discernment (which some might call judgment, but I would say on a type of discernment can become judgement) is very important on your journey in balancing. However, associating severe undesirability with unbalanced or distorted states is harmful to balance in and of itself - I'm moving to a place where I see unbalanced states as oh dirty dishes to clean up - something to be done, but something outside of approval or disapproval (approval/disapproval is a plenum said and interesting concept, and I think an unnecessary one). The practice of identifying perceived imbalances within the self or other is a useful discernment ability.
However, the moment we decide that another possesses a perceived imbalance and that we should correct or help correct it is when the discernment can run afoul of judgment and reflect a lack of acceptance for the free will of the other self.
It's a delicate balance for me. I find it immensely useful to use my discernment to identify imbalances within myself or others. But with myself, I can move about to change these things in a nonjudgemental fashion. With others, there is something about communicating unsolicited advice (which I have definitely been guilty of) that turns that discernment to judgement and becomes a less useful thing that increases our lack of acceptance for the free will of the other being. When I say unsolicited advice, I mean advice that is unsolicited in the core of the other being - you can ask for advice and not want advice, or you can not ask and still desire advice deeply. Before, I guess I would practice discernment, then try to always "help" the other self with my realizations until there was discussion or resistance, and then move to acceptance of the outcome and the other self's decision. I think it is more useful to I wish to practice more of discernment, and then acceptance of the other self in it's current beingess , and only giving thoughts or advice when truly desired. It's so hard to navigate those waters. But I'm learning. Manny definitely helped in that way, and for that I am eternally grateful. Thanks man!!
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