I have a confession to make.

[Hototo]

An Ego that has much charge run through it will bloat. An ego that no longer has much charge going through it will deflate. If you resist either phase you are inbalanced, what is the problem here?

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No - some are of course. The obvious typical examples of fanaticism and zealotry, which are actually protective coping mechanisms of identification (with an idea). The quality and degree of any distraction really depends on interpretation and integration of experience, which is provided by circumstances of relative balance and maturity. Constant appeal to infinities due to strong identification with a transcendent principle are used as an unconscious mechanism to deflect balancing responsibility from undeveloped, fragile ego. But the idea of "contact" in the first place was to simply force acknowledgement that one has a spiritual nature (yay) rather than to distract.

Now that I read this again with calm thinking, it sounds like you are explaining what you are doing right now rather well.