08-11-2013, 04:04 PM
I realized something today. For a long time I have made reference to being in a cocoon, in a process that will lead to a marvelous transformation.
I realized that I am, in fact, a butterfly who has chosen to crawl on the ground and be blind to its own wings. I force my way back into the cocoon again and again because I am oblivious to that which I already am. I seek change, then cling to familiarity.
This blindness has led to all manner of arrogance and pretension, and the putting on of false identities in an effort to change myself. It has even led to me attempting to assimilate and control the identities of others. It has brought on a long line of miserable circumstances and self-inflicted pain. All because I couldn't look in the mirror and appreciate my own face. All because, at some point, I began to let other people's perceptions define my vision of myself and replace the perceptions I came into this world with. I was not born into this world feeling unworthy and hating myself. Why should I leave it as such?
To continually learn and grow has always been a goal close to my heart, yet I am starting to realize that true transformation comes only from accepting that which is already there. Without a foundation, the whole house comes tumbling down. With this acceptance, I can proceed forward unburdened, without all this baggage, without all these chains.
I have often told others that knowing what you want most in life defines the path your life will take. I have also struggled with knowing what that one thing- that center- is for me. And now I know. I want me. Not who I should be, or used to be, or could be in another dimension. Not the alien or the sorcerer or the Xth density being. Just me as I understand myself right now. I want that me that I have hidden away and tied down and done everything to ignore. I want her to know she is loved, that she is worthy, and that she is perfect, though her nature is as fluid as the sea and will continue to rise to ever greater heights. To see the Creator in myself, I must first be willing to look into my own eyes without flinching and without hesitation.
I am ready to accept the responsibility of being myself. Hi everyone. I'm Brittany.
I realized that I am, in fact, a butterfly who has chosen to crawl on the ground and be blind to its own wings. I force my way back into the cocoon again and again because I am oblivious to that which I already am. I seek change, then cling to familiarity.
This blindness has led to all manner of arrogance and pretension, and the putting on of false identities in an effort to change myself. It has even led to me attempting to assimilate and control the identities of others. It has brought on a long line of miserable circumstances and self-inflicted pain. All because I couldn't look in the mirror and appreciate my own face. All because, at some point, I began to let other people's perceptions define my vision of myself and replace the perceptions I came into this world with. I was not born into this world feeling unworthy and hating myself. Why should I leave it as such?
To continually learn and grow has always been a goal close to my heart, yet I am starting to realize that true transformation comes only from accepting that which is already there. Without a foundation, the whole house comes tumbling down. With this acceptance, I can proceed forward unburdened, without all this baggage, without all these chains.
I have often told others that knowing what you want most in life defines the path your life will take. I have also struggled with knowing what that one thing- that center- is for me. And now I know. I want me. Not who I should be, or used to be, or could be in another dimension. Not the alien or the sorcerer or the Xth density being. Just me as I understand myself right now. I want that me that I have hidden away and tied down and done everything to ignore. I want her to know she is loved, that she is worthy, and that she is perfect, though her nature is as fluid as the sea and will continue to rise to ever greater heights. To see the Creator in myself, I must first be willing to look into my own eyes without flinching and without hesitation.
I am ready to accept the responsibility of being myself. Hi everyone. I'm Brittany.
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