03-30-2010, 08:11 PM
Okay, this is embarrassing, but I’m not exactly sure how to work the “insert quote” thing. This is replying to Ali Quadir’s post, and I just used italics…sorry for my technical in-expertise.
Seeking perfection must have acquired you success in some areas. And if you're uncertain about your work, polishing it is a calming and successful strategy.
I’d have to say my perfectionist nature did benefit me in school, and later in my various jobs. Teachers and bosses noticed that I paid attention to the details and made sure I produced quality work, allowing me to gain their trust and be offered opportunities other students and employees did not get because they were not setting the same standards. At my current job I’ve even been promoted to supervisor, though I really hate it. It’s a pain managing a bunch of people who don’t care about much of anything, but at least I’m getting some leadership catalyst, I guess.
To go back to the wolf pack. Maybe you express your desire for attention in a way that attracts "low value" people. Everyone is priceless of course. But some people don't exactly fix you up they more sort of use you and run off. A pro tip, needy behavior (automatically giving everyone that comes around a higher status than yourself) attracts low value people and repels high value people. While status retaining behavior repels low value people and attracts high value people. Most people if you ask a short interested question listen for the answer. And walk off instead of clinging to this initial success. Will seek you out later on because they feel you don't need their approval they will value your approval more and seek it. Then live with abundance in mind, desire people to succeed and they will lift you with their desire for you to succeed.
I am actually rather selective of my friends…probably why I usually tend to only have a small group of close comrades instead of being in one of the “crowds.” I try to seek out people who share my interest in spiritual seeking, have an open mind and a mature attitude. It has rarely been an acceptance issue for me, or a need to fit in. It’s more like the need to prove that I exist…that other people can see me.
I guess in some way it may tie into my feelings that I’m not doing enough, not completing my mission and all that other angsty stuff a lot of wanderers go through. But instead of processing those feelings all the way down to the core I am bleeding them out in the shallows, doing things that are causing people to recognize me, but are not providing much service to anyone. I suppose that I feel if I am being noticed I am making a difference, but over time I have realized that that difference usually isn’t a positive one when I choose to engage in these behaviors. I think I need to put more specific thought into my actions, making each one count, looking for each opportunity as it comes, instead of waiting for an opportunity to save the world to drop into my lap.
Oh I'm sure there must be something terribly terribly wrong with you so deep on the inside that the rest of us can't see it. You're different. Something like being cursed by the gods. Or having some extremely nasty karmic debt.
That is not the image I was trying to convey at all. I was simply trying to say that I feel there may be behavioral triggers whose source I have not yet discovered. I can’t just trace everything back to childhood and say “there, that sums it up!”. I’ve been around for almost a quarter of a century and a lot of stuff, both good and bad, has gone down. There’s roots upon roots upon roots in there, and untangling them could take a while.
Right now you can have a great body a great mind and sensitive emotions and still talk yourself down to omega level. Or you can be sitting in a wheel chair deformed all over and still end up hanging out with beautiful and wonderful people.
Very true. Very true.
Seeking perfection must have acquired you success in some areas. And if you're uncertain about your work, polishing it is a calming and successful strategy.
I’d have to say my perfectionist nature did benefit me in school, and later in my various jobs. Teachers and bosses noticed that I paid attention to the details and made sure I produced quality work, allowing me to gain their trust and be offered opportunities other students and employees did not get because they were not setting the same standards. At my current job I’ve even been promoted to supervisor, though I really hate it. It’s a pain managing a bunch of people who don’t care about much of anything, but at least I’m getting some leadership catalyst, I guess.
To go back to the wolf pack. Maybe you express your desire for attention in a way that attracts "low value" people. Everyone is priceless of course. But some people don't exactly fix you up they more sort of use you and run off. A pro tip, needy behavior (automatically giving everyone that comes around a higher status than yourself) attracts low value people and repels high value people. While status retaining behavior repels low value people and attracts high value people. Most people if you ask a short interested question listen for the answer. And walk off instead of clinging to this initial success. Will seek you out later on because they feel you don't need their approval they will value your approval more and seek it. Then live with abundance in mind, desire people to succeed and they will lift you with their desire for you to succeed.
I am actually rather selective of my friends…probably why I usually tend to only have a small group of close comrades instead of being in one of the “crowds.” I try to seek out people who share my interest in spiritual seeking, have an open mind and a mature attitude. It has rarely been an acceptance issue for me, or a need to fit in. It’s more like the need to prove that I exist…that other people can see me.
I guess in some way it may tie into my feelings that I’m not doing enough, not completing my mission and all that other angsty stuff a lot of wanderers go through. But instead of processing those feelings all the way down to the core I am bleeding them out in the shallows, doing things that are causing people to recognize me, but are not providing much service to anyone. I suppose that I feel if I am being noticed I am making a difference, but over time I have realized that that difference usually isn’t a positive one when I choose to engage in these behaviors. I think I need to put more specific thought into my actions, making each one count, looking for each opportunity as it comes, instead of waiting for an opportunity to save the world to drop into my lap.
Oh I'm sure there must be something terribly terribly wrong with you so deep on the inside that the rest of us can't see it. You're different. Something like being cursed by the gods. Or having some extremely nasty karmic debt.
That is not the image I was trying to convey at all. I was simply trying to say that I feel there may be behavioral triggers whose source I have not yet discovered. I can’t just trace everything back to childhood and say “there, that sums it up!”. I’ve been around for almost a quarter of a century and a lot of stuff, both good and bad, has gone down. There’s roots upon roots upon roots in there, and untangling them could take a while.
Right now you can have a great body a great mind and sensitive emotions and still talk yourself down to omega level. Or you can be sitting in a wheel chair deformed all over and still end up hanging out with beautiful and wonderful people.
Very true. Very true.