The Spiritual Ethics of Suicide

[Hototo]

I've started to feel that if I Really wanted to die. I would need to stand up and look up and say "beam me up scotty" and that would be that. Still, i contemplate suicide, self pain, and so forth a great deal, which is a paradox. I feel about death the same way I feel about a rollercoaster. I really really want to ride it, but not today.