02-28-2010, 12:49 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-28-2010, 01:09 PM by Peregrinus.)
Contentment is a positive state, so no that is not unfeeling. For many years I was devoid of feeling; nothing; nada; zip; zilch. Looking back, it began when I was a child. I had likes and dislikes, biases, based upon my sto orientation, that which I did not understand or know about yet, but a lack of feeling.
As I contemplate and understand this even further, with my understandings from the LOO, understanding that blockages of a ray manifest them self in a physical affliction in the location of the ray, I can see when this first showed up. I was fourteen or fifteen and I had several very sharp stabs of pain in which I actually thought I had been stabbed in the heart through the back of my spine. As it turned out, it was scoliosis, a minor case, but enough to cause me great pain. It was not enough, however, for the army to not accept me, and they told me about it, but that it wasn't severe.
When I turned thirty, a cycle came about when I was given the opportunity to seek, but I failed to realize that was what it was and passed it up. I was bareback bronc riding rodeo, and my hand got caught in the rigging. I got my hand worked out but I was off on a kilter and came off very wrong, crushing a vertebrae right at... the heart chakra, where my spine was weak from scoliosis. I had six months off where I had to learn to walk/breath again, and then right back to work on oil rigs. After a year of extreme pain, I chose to select a different role in life, and made my move. In that work, as a consulting chemical engineer in the oil field, I had periods of time when I could have also sought, but again and again I failed to take hold.
Only after having my daughter and drug addict demolished relationship was I put in a position where I did seek... well, I took notice. This led me on the path I am on now.
I am currently working through both physical pain in the heart area while clearing and distilling experience which is allowing me to be ready to go back to my home density at the time of the harvest, and my daughter came to me to be of service to allow me to be able to do so. Although these many incarnate experiences I have been in on earth allowed for much exploration of both the dark and the light, I look forward to returning home to my loved ones.
What I can tell you ayadew is that your current position is one which will not last for long, I suspect. All is cyclical, so you may have a further opportunity to continue your exploration of the dark place you were just in. Just as you were in the dark though, you will spend time in the light, so enjoy it while you can
As I contemplate and understand this even further, with my understandings from the LOO, understanding that blockages of a ray manifest them self in a physical affliction in the location of the ray, I can see when this first showed up. I was fourteen or fifteen and I had several very sharp stabs of pain in which I actually thought I had been stabbed in the heart through the back of my spine. As it turned out, it was scoliosis, a minor case, but enough to cause me great pain. It was not enough, however, for the army to not accept me, and they told me about it, but that it wasn't severe.
When I turned thirty, a cycle came about when I was given the opportunity to seek, but I failed to realize that was what it was and passed it up. I was bareback bronc riding rodeo, and my hand got caught in the rigging. I got my hand worked out but I was off on a kilter and came off very wrong, crushing a vertebrae right at... the heart chakra, where my spine was weak from scoliosis. I had six months off where I had to learn to walk/breath again, and then right back to work on oil rigs. After a year of extreme pain, I chose to select a different role in life, and made my move. In that work, as a consulting chemical engineer in the oil field, I had periods of time when I could have also sought, but again and again I failed to take hold.
Only after having my daughter and drug addict demolished relationship was I put in a position where I did seek... well, I took notice. This led me on the path I am on now.
I am currently working through both physical pain in the heart area while clearing and distilling experience which is allowing me to be ready to go back to my home density at the time of the harvest, and my daughter came to me to be of service to allow me to be able to do so. Although these many incarnate experiences I have been in on earth allowed for much exploration of both the dark and the light, I look forward to returning home to my loved ones.
What I can tell you ayadew is that your current position is one which will not last for long, I suspect. All is cyclical, so you may have a further opportunity to continue your exploration of the dark place you were just in. Just as you were in the dark though, you will spend time in the light, so enjoy it while you can