Changes when on pharmaceuticals

[spero]

Curiously i decided i would stop taking cipralex about two weeks ago now. I go through phases and sometimes it just feels right to give the antidepressants a break and see if my outlook on the world is fine without them. I've noticed a spike in paranoia and anxiety and crazy vivid dreams. Its good to tell people who you might interact with frequently that your going off the meds for a while as i notice personality changes in myself and so do the people around me, usually related to paranoia or fear. A proviso to this is that i generally just discontinue rather than wean off which probably makes all the difference in the intensity of the withdrawal symptoms. i just prefer to be hit with strong withdrawal symptoms which i can attribute directly to withdrawal, versus subtle symptoms that i have to debate over in my mind. When ever i go back on the meds after a period of abstinence i notice an ease up of anxiety and an initial few days of nausea. Sometimes get strong feelings of love and a sense of rightness to the world that can build up and last for weeks. In those times i compare it to being on mdma, which is perhaps not surprising given the mechanism of action of antidepressants. Its tough to predict what the effect of antidepressants will be. Some people get no instant mood altering effect and for them the antidepressant and anxiety relieving effects require long term use to kick in. For me i happen to notice a lot of immediate benefits which fade over 6 months at which point i usually decide to discontinue for a bit. Maybe my brain is wired opposite lol.