Interesting development (Addictions)

[Monica]

Ask any recovered addict what changed their life. It was trauma. That, I guarantee, is a rule.

Well I did...I asked myself...but maybe I don't quite qualify as an ex-addict since I was only addicted to speed for 1 year, and didn't get to rock bottom because of it. I was just a partier, but still had a job, went to school, etc. I quit because I felt myself becoming an addict and didn't want to go down that road. So I guess I quit before joining the ranks of the full-fledged addicts.

I also asked my friend named Michael, who was both a 60s generation drug addict and an alcoholic and quit upon getting religion, after causing enormous stress in his family. His answer to that question was "Jesus." I suppose it could be argued that he exchanged one addiction for another, but I see him as a well-adjusted, emotionally healthy person, with a lot of light. He is one of the nicest, most wonderful people I've ever met. We have discussed his experience in coming clean and he never mentioned any trauma catapulting him to quit. The trauma he experienced was in the throes of the addiction. Maybe he neglected to tell me all the details.

I have another friend who was a methhead, and another who was a crackhead. I'll ask both of them, out of curiosity, and report back later. I'm not trying to win a debate but am interested in exploring anything that seems to be an indisputable rule. You have more direct experience with this, but I am curious whether your experience is representative of some, most, or all people in that situation. Am I questioning your unshakable rule? Yes, I tend to question any rule presented as an absolute.

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My father went to his grave drinking. I've seen two friends go to the grave from cocaine, one disappear from his debt, and two who lost their nose to cocaine, only to turn to crack. I understand and accept that I don't know everything, and I am sure there are exceptions to the rule, but there aren't many. I have yet to see an exception, seeing only the rule.

I'm sorry to hear of the intense catalyst you experienced! I'm glad to hear of the wonderful growth that resulted from it!

Have you considered, however, that all of us tend to attract patterns in our lives, because of the particular catalyst we need? According to what I've understood from the Law of One, it's reasonable that any one of us would experience the same pattern over and over and over, until we learn the lesson contained therein. Thus, it's understandable that you endured the trauma of being around loved ones who were addicts, until you finally learned that it wasn't your responsibility to 'save' them...or whatever lessons you learned from those experiences. Just as a 'battered wife' tends to attract an abusive husband, divorces him, only to replace him with another abusive man, until she learns whatever it is she needs to learn from abusive men. We ALL have our patterns!

Again, my intention is not to demean or invalidate in any way your particular experiences. My only point is that ALL of us tend to see the world thru the lens of our own experiences, which aren't necessarily representative of all people or all situations.

I was told by police, ambulance and many other people to get away from my addict ex-spouse and to stay as far away as I possibly could, because they had never seen good come of it, never seen anyone beat it and stay clean.

And yet, I know at least 3 people, right off the top of my head, who beat it and stayed clean. Wait, I just thought of another...make that 4. Add to that the author of the book I recommended...though I don't know him personally. In his case, he did indeed hit rock bottom. So, of the 5 that I can think of, only 1 quit after experiencing trauma which forced him to quit. (In fact, he still didn't actually quit until his dad put him in a hospital, but the many traumas got him to stay clean. Cigarettes got him in the end, though.) So my experience is different from yours. Both are valid.

I stayed and tried, to no avail, and it almost destroyed me. It was, however, the dark I needed to catapult me into the light to be sure, so for me this last relationship was a huge lesson.

That's a beautiful way to look at it! I feel that way about my ex-boyfriend (the one who got me into speed, LSD, etc.). The 3 1/2 years with him were very dark, but that darkness catapulted me to seek spirituality. Realizing this has helped me to forgive him and even be grateful to him.

Yes there are lessons, but second guessing what each addicts is, and then trying to control the situation to make them better, I would suggest is negatively polarizing to the self, and is not going to help unless the addict has hit their bottom.

I'm not suggesting second-guessing him. I'm suggesting that Questioner not completely turn his back on the kid because the kid doesn't meet xyz criteria. I'm suggesting that it's not our place to establish any sort of criteria before we extend an offer of love and service. I'm also suggesting that, as Wanderers, we may be simultaneously learning 5D lessons of wisdom, which have to do with discerning when and how to be of service, so that we aren't sucked into someone's black hole of addiction and despair. I'm suggesting that there may be a middle ground between turning him away and being drained by him. That middle ground might be to just be there as a friend, on standby, just in case the kid decides to reach for the Light.