02-21-2010, 06:16 PM
(02-21-2010, 05:24 PM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote:(02-21-2010, 04:40 PM)Peregrinus Wrote: To be clear, I am talking about the three big ones, heroin, crack, and meth.
Wouldn't you also include alcohol in that list?
Yes indeed.
(02-21-2010, 05:24 PM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote:(02-21-2010, 04:40 PM)Peregrinus Wrote: Questioner said this young man sat there and smoked a bowl before going to bed while talking to him. Does that sound like someone who has hit their bottom? ...ready for the biggest change and the most difficult commitment he has ever made in his life?
I don't know. I wasn't there. What if he had had a glass of wine, or a cigarette, or a bowl of ice cream, instead of the weed?
I'm just saying, talking about quitting drugs while doing drugs is a fairly clear indicator of a lack of want and need.
(02-21-2010, 05:24 PM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote:(02-21-2010, 04:40 PM)Peregrinus Wrote: If he is ready, he will fight tooth and nail for it. When the addict has made the choice by gaining the need, there is no doubt, and I mean NO DOUBT whatsoever.
(02-21-2010, 05:24 PM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote: What brings them to that point? We've established that the young man had childhood trauma. What makes addicts suddenly decide to quit? Could it be that they are ready to quit when they've healed that trauma? (at least to some degree)
It has varying names. Hitting bottom, rock bottom... it has to be something devastating to them, where they realize it is life and death. It isn't from desire alone. It has to be traumatic.
(02-21-2010, 05:24 PM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote: If so, then wouldn't it be beneficial to assist in the healing process, if possible? In other words, instead of trying to help the kid quit drugs, why not try to help heal the trauma, which might actually work on the root cause of the addiction? It sounded to me like the kid was seeking help with the root cause, not the addiction. The addiction is just a symptom of a deeper issue. Of course they will return to the addiction, if they try to quit before resolving the deeper issue that caused the addiction in the first place!
In order to heal the original problem/trauma, the person must be clean. Of course, this is a chicken/egg scenario, but there isn't a shrink/etc that would try to help an addict when still in active addiction. It just can't be done.
(02-21-2010, 05:24 PM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote: Tough love isn't going to resolve the deeper issue or heal the trauma. Neither is jail time. So of course they just return to the addiction. The addiction is preferable to the pain they feel from the trauma. Even the tough love or jail time is preferable. They need coping skills. The underlying causes must be addressed.
Again, which they acquire in becoming drug free. How does an addict learn to cope when high? Drunk?
(02-21-2010, 05:24 PM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote: I submit for your consideration: Those who finally chose to get clean did so because somehow, because of life's catalyst, they were able to get some degree of healing on their deeper issues. Then, making the choice to quit was possible. It was still difficult, but the underlying cause had been neutralized.
I can only speak of experience when it comes to the several addicts/alcoholics in my life, and in this instance, my addict ex-spouse. My addict cleaned up several times, for months at a time even, but the underlying issues of Borderline Personality Disorder, Sociopathy, and Bulimia still remained. For her, a one year mental health therapy was/is the only treatment, and if one expects an addict to show up for even one session... she always said she was going to the therapy. She was accepted, she wanted to go, but when it came the time for each course, which came and went, she had an excuse she couldn't, even when clean. She never even tried to make the three week prerequisite course, even though it was so very important to her...
These things I learned the very hard way, and I don't think anyone who has not gone through them can understand. I had post traumatic stress disorder after leaving the relationship... it is simply devastating what an addict can do to not only them self, but to others around them.
Indeed this is a life changing catalyst, but it is one they chose pre-incarnation. This is their major lesson. If one chooses to become involved, it then becomes a major lesson for you too. It sure became mine.