Seeking Advice

[DyerHarris]

I've been diagnosed with a "mental illness" and was prescribed a medication called zyprexa, I was on it for a while and then was able to get off of it. a couple weeks ago i made a "mistake" by having a little too much alcohol during the weekend of my sisters wedding which really up the stakes of my experiences. Because of this my parents have asked that i take the medication some more. As i get back on the medication i notice that my instrument as Ra would would say is becoming quite dull. I'm trying to play along for everyone elses sake at the expense of my own progression. While on this medication however, i feel like im operating on the bare minimum human spiritual consciousness. Everyone around says that i've been very "hyper" lately and that my emotions would go from one extreme to the other and i wouldnt even realize it. But the thing is i do realize it and thats why i go from one extreme to the other because i have realized that emotions are a tool of expression much like a hand is a tool to be used. I feel the medication would serve as a good use incase of an emergency. I wouldn't take a tylenol every night to prevent headaches from happening. I'd just take one when i feel one is close by. Any suggestions?

[ayadew]

Hello my dear friend. I feel for you.

I was classified with some mental illnesses too, although about 10 years ago. If one does not possess physical disabilities (which I don't), it seems to go to the psyche as a wanderer.

Ultimately, there will be a choice, as you indirectly say: Take medication as a sacrifice for the other's peace of mind, or do not take it to be yourself. Their intention for you is limiting, for they oppose the idea of these 'mental illnesses' and opposition is limiting. Loving is permitting.
The problem is that they love you, but they do not permit you freedom. Their idea of love is thus highly distorted.

When you incarnated here, you partially chose for whatever reason to have these mental disabilities, for learning purposes. I'm sure you chose quite carefully. To be a perfect being here, which you are in relation to 'new' 3rd density entities here, wouldn't encourage much learning.

So in my opinion, you should live life with these or try to subjugate them with intention or meditation - which seems to be a natural path of learning.
I did such anyway, and I am quite 'stable' today, with some deviations of course. But I have the amazing feeling of doing it myself, and not to have subjected to the madness which is modern medication.

[Ali Quadir]

You're asking the wrong people, you should consult your doctor.

You should negotiate your medication with him. He's likely to be willing to reduce your doses IF you show you can handle it. This is where you must take responsibility. You must learn the factors that can destabilize you and organize your life around it..

Suspects are Alcohol, Drugs, Lack of, or irregular sleep, Caffeine, stress and over exciting yourself.

You must get to know how you respond to these and other factors in your life, and identify which destabilize you. Then you must reduce their effect. You could grade your days on a calendar in your bathroom. And if the grade is bad try to find the most likely suspect. After a few months you should gain insight in your weaknesses.

I expect your doctor will be willing to reduce your medication in small steps. But he will need to be convinced that you'll take responsibility of your state of mind. That you don't overestimate yourself. And that you believe this to be a serious and non trivial matter. In short you must become a partner in your own treatment.

Your doctor will reduce your medication, then wait for a while and check if there are symptoms. If there are none he will reduce them even more, and wait and see a little more. If you get symptoms he will hold the doses at that level or increase it a little. If you responsibly take control of your mind and take the above mentioned steps to avoid those symptoms. Then you can reduce the dose one step at a time. His goal is to keep you as symptom free as possible with as few side effects as possible.

This requires discipline, this requires you to recognize your weaknesses and accept them. Your drinking binge was one of those symptoms. Your family might have over reacted or they might not have. But this situation even if it was overrated is definitely one of the things you should try to avoid. Lets put it this way, abandoning all alcohol is a small price to pay for avoiding this medication.

I started with "Consult your doctor" I'll end with it too. He is your buddy in this. And he should be willing to negotiate with you. If he has authoritarian problems, you can consult another doctor for a second opinion. You cannot consider yourself an expert, ignore his advice and be responsible at the same time.

[ayadew]

Ali Quadir seems more down-to-earth than me, but that's how it always is..

[fairyfarmgirl]

You have rights as a patient. The American Mental Health system tries to subvert patient rights in the interest of big pharma. If your current Doctor will not allow for a reduction of the medication combined with behavior therapy than you may choose to look for a doctor with a philosophy of healing that is congruent with your belief system and that is aware and willing to see the human being as a whole being. And then responsibly change doctors. There are doctors out there that specialize in the treatment of extra-sensitive individuals. This will require you to research and find a doctor that your insurance will cover or will take you as a pro-bono patient (pro-bono is rare so it would be a very rare and committed doctor that does this).

Ali Quadir is correct in that it is best to consult with the current Doctor-- If the result is not congruent with your wishes for clear headedness ... then you may want to begin to look for a new and qualified doctor and as I said before this must be done responsibly... But you say you reside with the parental unit? thus there will be negotiations with the parental unit to do what you feel is best for you... also if you are under guardianship or in a group home this also poses some interesting quandries for you as the system is not open to unconventionality.. and they do look upon medication non-compliance as a reason to blue paper you which will result in no rights for you at all as you could be forcefully committed to a "mental hospital" depending on the State in the USA that you live in... this is an issue that you will have to tread carefully with and really think about what it is you would like for your life... begin with consulting with your doctor and present the advice of Ali Quadir (this is an excellent way that one can manage their body chemistry issue as there is always an antecedent to behavior no matte how maladaptive).
If the doctor is not willing to hear your complaint and/ or respect your rights as a patient then you have some thinking to do.. But remember you have rights as a patient even if the establishment of mental health does not wish to honor your patient rights. I wish you well...

fairyfarmgirl

[Ali Quadir]

Ali Quadir seems more down-to-earth than me, but that's how it always is..

This is a multi level world. All insights add a piece to the puzzle. I'm just trying to be practical in this situation by completely ignoring the spiritual side of things.

The American Mental Health system tries to subvert patient rights in the interest of big pharma.

You're absolutely right. I just think they don't actually need to subvert any rights. They can just ride piggy back on the ignorance of mental health professionals. Psychology as a science is 150 years old. In my opinion we know diddly squat about how the mind works. And my time among them did not leave me with the impression of rocket scientists or saints.

Psychoactive medication changes balances in the mind. This can help to re-balance people who severely lose their balance. However, most cases of mental health problems are not big issues. If you chemically alter the balance using such a crude tool as medication how is the mind ever going to re-balance itself?

People who are having problems and roll into the psycho pharmacy system are more often than not not helped by this system. I've seen sad things happen. Shy people that ended up dancing on tables. People who needed help were locked up in solitary confinement and separated from those loved ones who had kept them standing up to that point. If I were ever put in this situation I'd force myself to outwardly behave like the norm.

Like I said I'm a trained psychologist so I'm qualified to diagnose my own mental health. Let's have some fun...
* Because I believe and experienced telepathy this (to them) means I am at a heightened risk for schizophrenia.
* My beliefs in telekinesis would push me over that edge.
* Because I have channeled past life entities and guides both spontaneously and non spontaneously I am technically some form of multiple personality disorder.
* I used to have a shamanic bend where I was connected closely with a totem animal and hung out with people who considered themselves animals. (I got better, honestly)
* I have various neurotic traits
* if you consider that I believe myself to be partially alien in origins you can imagine what a nut job I must be...

In my own words as uncle Ali, I'm an average human being with an unusual interest in the spiritual and a willingness to experiment with new ideas and unusual approaches.

Ironically the one time I did need some help I was rejected by the psychologists, I was functioning too well. I eventually had to go to a psychic. Which in the end was the best thing that could happen to me at the time.

I'd recommend if you ever get involved with the mental health professionals... Whatever you do.... Act normal... Worry about whatever war that is currently raging, complain about taxes, be a non violent conformist. Don't mention deep life questions.

Unless you have a clear reason to be disturbed, like the death of a spouse, or another traumatic experience. In which case they can be good listeners and they have experience in actually solving those problems.

My trick was to be able to play the "normal" people game. This isn't a matter of selling out. It's a matter of creating the space I need, to be me in. And there's nothing wrong with being slightly nuts in private or among friends. As long as we harm no others and cause no problems to ourselves or others. If we enjoy the conversations with the pink elephant in our basement then that's cool. To me personally it's a sign of mental strength to be comfortable around the "impossible". If the rest of the world can't handle that, then I don't confront them with it.

On the other hand... I actually had a fellow student who loved to experiment on people in the wild. He'd join the people in a bus stop. And then start talking to a light post. Just to see what would happen. A practical upshot is apparently that you always get extra personal space on the bus. But this is very telling to how people respond if you allow yourself to experiment with the crazy ideas.

[ayadew]

Yes, being practical is a skill I do not pocess hehe. I bet you'd be quite frustrated with me in everyday life.

[DyerHarris]

thank you all, for the advice...it is all equally well received. I understanding the "mission" a little better and I'm "not" joking around anymore. I will update with specifics but for now i want to go for a bike ride before work...

[Ali Quadir]

Yes, being practical is a skill I do not pocess hehe. I bet you'd be quite frustrated with me in everyday life.

Or I'd smile the whole time you're around. Opposites do tend to attract.

And for what it's worth. I write well, but speak bad. The words need some time to rise, and in real life I often pick the wrong ones or put them in random order. (Literally) I believe my thought patterns don't fit language to well. Sometimes it's a miracle I can express myself at all. I'm also good at expressing the whole range from sweaty palms to colored cheeks.

Sometimes I think I'm on forums because after I expressed something in writing it becomes easier to talk about it irl. It becomes clearer in my mind because I remember the ordering from writing it down.

And besides, you said what I believe is the right path.

But I have the amazing feeling of doing it myself, and not to have subjected to the madness which is modern medication.

That's the bottom line isn't it?

[Lorna]

Gosh there is a lot of experience and wisdom on this forum!
I just wanted to wish you well DyerHarris

[ayadew]

Ali Quadir: I understand your thoughts and wordings. Writing is much easier for me also to express thought, because I am entirely focused on it. If you've gathered any idea of me as a focused and intellectual being, you'd find a direct opposite of me in daily life. I am simply too busy experiencing the world to give it much thought...

To write is a sort of meditation. One thought, one purpose. One action, one intention. You are entirely focused on bringing out the message, and to formulate for yourself and others the exact things you wish to express.

I would never be able to talk about the things I write here in daily life. It is impossible for me to formulate myself also, for my mind wanders away from the initial thing I was to express in the first place. I often look back at my posts here and think "What, how did write that..." I am a terrible teacher for myself!

Modern medication has brought some good things, I am not condemning it all. Such as pain management. That is brilliant. But the economic interests corrupts all in the end, so I feel it better to skip all of modern medication, for it's not a high probability it will help you more than ~1% (which is the threshold for something to be classified as 'effective against') and likely give you severe side effects, which our dear DyerHarris is experiencing.
A true catalyst

[fairyfarmgirl]

Ali Quadir seems more down-to-earth than me, but that's how it always is..

This is a multi level world. All insights add a piece to the puzzle. I'm just trying to be practical in this situation by completely ignoring the spiritual side of things.

The American Mental Health system tries to subvert patient rights in the interest of big pharma.

You're absolutely right. I just think they don't actually need to subvert any rights. They can just ride piggy back on the ignorance of mental health professionals. Psychology as a science is 150 years old. In my opinion we know diddly squat about how the mind works. And my time among them did not leave me with the impression of rocket scientists or saints.

Psychoactive medication changes balances in the mind. This can help to re-balance people who severely lose their balance. However, most cases of mental health problems are not big issues. If you chemically alter the balance using such a crude tool as medication how is the mind ever going to re-balance itself?

People who are having problems and roll into the psycho pharmacy system are more often than not not helped by this system. I've seen sad things happen. Shy people that ended up dancing on tables. People who needed help were locked up in solitary confinement and separated from those loved ones who had kept them standing up to that point. If I were ever put in this situation I'd force myself to outwardly behave like the norm.

Like I said I'm a trained psychologist so I'm qualified to diagnose my own mental health. Let's have some fun...
* Because I believe and experienced telepathy this (to them) means I am at a heightened risk for schizophrenia.
* My beliefs in telekinesis would push me over that edge.
* Because I have channeled past life entities and guides both spontaneously and non spontaneously I am technically some form of multiple personality disorder.
* I used to have a shamanic bend where I was connected closely with a totem animal and hung out with people who considered themselves animals. (I got better, honestly)
* I have various neurotic traits
* if you consider that I believe myself to be partially alien in origins you can imagine what a nut job I must be...

In my own words as uncle Ali, I'm an average human being with an unusual interest in the spiritual and a willingness to experiment with new ideas and unusual approaches.

Ironically the one time I did need some help I was rejected by the psychologists, I was functioning too well. I eventually had to go to a psychic. Which in the end was the best thing that could happen to me at the time.

I'd recommend if you ever get involved with the mental health professionals... Whatever you do.... Act normal... Worry about whatever war that is currently raging, complain about taxes, be a non violent conformist. Don't mention deep life questions.

Unless you have a clear reason to be disturbed, like the death of a spouse, or another traumatic experience. In which case they can be good listeners and they have experience in actually solving those problems.

My trick was to be able to play the "normal" people game. This isn't a matter of selling out. It's a matter of creating the space I need, to be me in. And there's nothing wrong with being slightly nuts in private or among friends. As long as we harm no others and cause no problems to ourselves or others. If we enjoy the conversations with the pink elephant in our basement then that's cool. To me personally it's a sign of mental strength to be comfortable around the "impossible". If the rest of the world can't handle that, then I don't confront them with it.

On the other hand... I actually had a fellow student who loved to experiment on people in the wild. He'd join the people in a bus stop. And then start talking to a light post. Just to see what would happen. A practical upshot is apparently that you always get extra personal space on the bus. But this is very telling to how people respond if you allow yourself to experiment with the crazy ideas.

Good Greetings Ali Quadir and All:

I do have experience with being a mental health worker (I was so silly I thought they actually were healing people... how dumb could I be?) and what I saw I could not participate in and refused to do so. The system is simply unethical and it is a hot bed of service to self types that the only difference from the people they are "serving" (now that is a real laugh) is that they fake it to make it and are more crazy than the people who are "having the mental breaks" and "responding to internal stimuli"

I consider the field of psychiatry to be a soulless field of arrogance and ego and darkness bent only on making money and controlling others and of course providing a ready to consume energy system for the Dark Ones who are dis incarnate. I have no respect for such a system that supported Torture in the Bush years and continues to use medications for issues that can be better resolved through behavioral therapy, inter-connectedness and LOVE.

I agree it is tantamount to blend in with the general population and appear to be "normal" that is one must seem to appear to be as out of balance as they are and as blind and ignorant as they are and as 3D as they are until you can get out of Dodge and find a safe place in which to be yourself.

I like this site for speaking of the Dimensions that reside within. As it is a state of mind... contracted or expanded. http://www.emergingearthangels.com/index.html


fairyfarmgirl

[DyerHarris]

It's been a couple days since I first asked for help and i most certainly received it! Things have been a lot "better." I'm diagnosed with Bi Polar Mania. People that "know" my "history" get concerned when i get hyper, they believe that I am flood of emotional intellect/intellectual emotion with no control. And that when i to stop it which can be quite abrupt they believe thats the bi polar kicking in. For me the flood or the flow of energy isn't the issue. It's the present awareness of such. Some times i'll open the gates and just let it flow freely. It's fine because for me it's relaxing, I can say crazy, goofy s*** and act in a crazy stupid manner because i trust the universe to keep me in check, which it always does. I'll tend to send out strong vibrations, they could be positive or negative on the surface and typically my awareness is reestablished when i start recieving a lot of "negative vibes" back. That could be something like "what the f*** are you talking about to" or just someone losing control themselves. It's difficult now because people ask me for help because they believe me to be helpful but sometimes what is "needed" is some 5th density "tough love" aka looking at the situation plainly. So lately i've found a new appreciation for silence haha. For me it's all about balance the second i realize the pendulum is staying on one side is the second i have to reset. As far as my medication, for me it's merely a sleep aid. As the day progresses the instrument gets dull and the gates aren't as sturdy...i can of course override the dullness by forcing myself to "speed" and sometimes i'll create so much mental energy that when it's time for bed i have two choices: Mediate for as long as it takes by myself to calm down "naturally" or do i take a medication and lie down hoping for the best. I am not adverse to either option. sometimes the mediation way is good but to do that style just because thats the"natural" way can be view as arrogant. When I take the medication for me its a display of faith and a desire for help. More to come later

[THB]

For me it's all about balance the second i realize the pendulum is staying on one side is the second i have to reset.

Then you have your own answer.

Please, please don't believe the hype. Stay as far as possible from the mental health industry. Just pretend to be normal. Do whatever you have to do, but don't start believing that there is something wrong with you. We need you to be you.

Oh, how I long for the day when we can stop all the pretending and people can just be themselves.