07-30-2014, 02:22 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-30-2014, 02:23 PM by Immortalis Vigil.)
I write this post in the spirit of bringing full circle what started in “Greetings from the Dark,” and to note a milestone of sort. My first introduction to this forum came a few years ago in the form of a post entitled “Greetings from the Dark,” by Zaxon. Some may remember that thread, others may easily look it up if they wish, but the content therein reflects only my beginning, and not my journey.
The purpose of this post is to merely share in some small part my journey from darkness into the light. Awakening found me at the beginning of my professional career, with feet firmly set on a path of negativity and isolation. A devout atheist, I firmly believed in the world of my senses, and was devoted to the idea of life being a Darwinian struggle for supremacy and survival. This worldview led me to law school, then to a job in the financial industry. This is not to say all individuals in these industries are negative and bad, but those fields often reward the callous ambition that characterized my worldview and disposition.
Awakening found me abruptly like lightening in the night. It started with intellectual curiosity regarding quantum mechanics, a simple thought experiment about quantum entanglement and the effect of conscious attention on matter. As I allowed myself to innocently entertain the idea of underlying unity and oneness, I felt a creeping sensation of lightness that became a flood. This became my first experience of God Consciousness. For three days I was awash in light and empathy, fully sensing the inherent unity of the creation. During this time I felt ethereal and detached from the human condition that had so long been my cage.
Within days of the energy fading I began researching what had happened to me, and encountered the Ra Material. I read the entire series within a few weeks, and much of what I found scared me. My worldview was shaken. My identity torn asunder. Oddly, the idea of channeled communications from an alien consciousness seemed quite natural to me – what terrified me was the idea of selflessness and service to others. It was this fear that drove me back into the night.
My identity and life to that point had been built around service to self. I was not actively malicious, but my emotional detachment and contempt for mankind made it the inevitable conclusion of my pursuit of self-interest. It soon occurred to me that Ascension through service to self would be the least disruptive to my identity and life, so I set about polarizing towards negativity. The night greeted me like an old friend. From this place came the musings of “Greetings from the Dark,” by Zaxon.
This pattern played out for some time, but failed to quench my thirst. The darkness was familiar but constricting, an old friend I had long ago outgrown. I am of Wisdom, and eons ago I polarized in the night. But I had long ago reached the point where darkness gives way to the light. It was only when I allowed Wisdom to be balanced with Love that I found peace and wholeness. I walk now without fear of the light, ascending once more to the God Consciousness that once struck me like lightening in the night.
My life has been torn asunder, and from those ashes I now rebuild. My identity from that other life has been replaced by one of peace and joy, and I have taken my place as a guardian and teacher. I still struggle, but each day sees fewer lapses into old ways. I have changed myself, and now turn to changing the world.
I offer this portion of my story to perhaps give hope to others struggling along their path. Those who wander are never lost.
The purpose of this post is to merely share in some small part my journey from darkness into the light. Awakening found me at the beginning of my professional career, with feet firmly set on a path of negativity and isolation. A devout atheist, I firmly believed in the world of my senses, and was devoted to the idea of life being a Darwinian struggle for supremacy and survival. This worldview led me to law school, then to a job in the financial industry. This is not to say all individuals in these industries are negative and bad, but those fields often reward the callous ambition that characterized my worldview and disposition.
Awakening found me abruptly like lightening in the night. It started with intellectual curiosity regarding quantum mechanics, a simple thought experiment about quantum entanglement and the effect of conscious attention on matter. As I allowed myself to innocently entertain the idea of underlying unity and oneness, I felt a creeping sensation of lightness that became a flood. This became my first experience of God Consciousness. For three days I was awash in light and empathy, fully sensing the inherent unity of the creation. During this time I felt ethereal and detached from the human condition that had so long been my cage.
Within days of the energy fading I began researching what had happened to me, and encountered the Ra Material. I read the entire series within a few weeks, and much of what I found scared me. My worldview was shaken. My identity torn asunder. Oddly, the idea of channeled communications from an alien consciousness seemed quite natural to me – what terrified me was the idea of selflessness and service to others. It was this fear that drove me back into the night.
My identity and life to that point had been built around service to self. I was not actively malicious, but my emotional detachment and contempt for mankind made it the inevitable conclusion of my pursuit of self-interest. It soon occurred to me that Ascension through service to self would be the least disruptive to my identity and life, so I set about polarizing towards negativity. The night greeted me like an old friend. From this place came the musings of “Greetings from the Dark,” by Zaxon.
This pattern played out for some time, but failed to quench my thirst. The darkness was familiar but constricting, an old friend I had long ago outgrown. I am of Wisdom, and eons ago I polarized in the night. But I had long ago reached the point where darkness gives way to the light. It was only when I allowed Wisdom to be balanced with Love that I found peace and wholeness. I walk now without fear of the light, ascending once more to the God Consciousness that once struck me like lightening in the night.
My life has been torn asunder, and from those ashes I now rebuild. My identity from that other life has been replaced by one of peace and joy, and I have taken my place as a guardian and teacher. I still struggle, but each day sees fewer lapses into old ways. I have changed myself, and now turn to changing the world.
I offer this portion of my story to perhaps give hope to others struggling along their path. Those who wander are never lost.
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