1988.10.09 Hatred, Anger, Orange Ray blockages

[Plenum]

I became aware of how much self-hatred I had when I started working with orange ray in earnest.

http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._1009.aspx

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Group question: “Q’uo: We have been asked to speak to you this evening about hatred.”

(Carla channeling)

I am Q’uo. We apologize for the slow transmission, but we are working at deeper levels of the conscious but trance-like state, as this instrument has requested information which makes this state appropriate, due to this instrument’s own synchronistic queries. Before we begin, we would like to answer a question we find heavy upon this instrument’s mind. This instrument has been wondering, ever since the last time the beloved entity known as Aaron was part of a circle of seeking, why we were able to offer material of a high intellectual content. Firstly, the one known as Aaron is most intelligent, and will pick those truths of which he has the need, in a simplistic way. There is much of what you call your time for subtleties. Secondly, this entity is an humble entity, one which is grateful to sit in a circle of beloved entities and enjoy their company. Therefore, this entity is a very strong battery within the circle, and does not expect to understand each word, but is very pleased to be with each. This unconditional love offers the highest of vibration within your group at this time. Never estimate an entity’s worth by age or accomplishment, but by the ability it has for unconditional love.

We have been asked to speak to you this evening about hatred. Because this channel had also wished to ask a related question, we find this deeper state necessary, and will continually be attempting to preserve the depth of this contact. Please pardon any pauses.

That which is hatred and that which is anger, and all of those emotions which may be called negative, are distortions of love.

They manifest through the distorted individual by blocking energy and trapping this energy in the center involved in the changing, confusing difficulty which is catalyst for distorted love.

This catalyst may be extreme.

However, may we say that that which the questioner considers hatred it does not know in full intensity, for it is incapable of achieving the purity of negative emotion which would be necessary for those which wish to polarize negatively. Nevertheless, we in no way disregard or lessen any of those emotions which are beyond the control of the entity at this time.

When an entity is extremely positive, as each within this circle is, that which may be seen by others to be unimportant or non-catalytic, upon the contrary sensitive entities which seek will certainly use this catalyst and experience painfully negative emotions. Thus, hatred is love which has been hurt badly. Anger is that which comes of hatred.

Beneath the hatred is what this instrument would call the orange-ray blockage. This is especially painful when the entity who is in pain has some difficulty in experiencing self-worth and self-acceptance, self-forgiveness and self-love.

The one which loves the self has the most undistorted energy available to manifest in love in an undistorted form of intimate others which offer negative catalyst, shall we say for the sake of brevity, though this is not the exact description. Beneath both of these concepts is the concept of separation. The illusion in general, made up of many seemingly other selves separate from the self, is most powerful. Thusly, it is possible to see each entity as unique. However, the veil has dropped betwixt the waking vision and the evidence that each is also the Creator, each perfect and all one, one with each other and one with the original Thought of love which is the Creator.

We are aware that each has chosen the path of unity, peace, the love of neighbor, the hope for peace within all nations, all hearts and all peoples, and above all the seeking of the one infinite Creator. To those who wish to ameliorate the negative emotions they feel, action is necessary. The first action one may take is to outlast the length of time one is capable of feeling the same catalyst. This is, as this instrument would say, an easy way out, in that no effort must be expended, but merely existence prolonged. However, we are aware that each wishes to move as quickly as possible along the pilgrim’s path towards the mysterious face of truth. Thusly, we would give you harder ways to work upon the distortions of love which are the result of blockages which keep energy from moving through the lower energies into the heart energy of unconditional love, which the one known as Aaron has such a great deal of.

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[Melissa]

I've been angry for as long as I can remember. As a kid I wasn't always capable of containing my anger so when other kids were picking on me I stocked it up until I couldn't take it anymore. Which resulted in some very violent situations where I just snapped. Honestly, I've done some horrible things, plus, 'got beat up pretty bad myself. This has been a lifelong struggle and I really suck at dealing with it. Usually it turns into quiet rage. which I think is also pointless so then I just forget about it and have a good laugh.

[Plenum]

I've been angry for as long as I can remember. As a kid I wasn't always capable of containing my anger so when other kids were picking on me I stocked it up until I couldn't take it anymore. Which resulted in some very violent situations where I just snapped. Honestly, I've done some horrible things, plus, 'got beat up pretty bad myself. This has been a lifelong struggle and I really suck at dealing with it. Usually it turns into quiet rage. which I think is also pointless so then I just forget about it and have a good laugh.

yeah, anger is a tough one. It usually comes from feelings of disempowerment, not feeling you have any power or ability to change your situation.

I was bullied as a kid too.

[Jade]

I've been having much fun with this one plenum, thank you!

My favorite part:

Never estimate an entity’s worth by age or accomplishment, but by the ability it has for unconditional love.

I think this may be the answer to the riddle of our "IQ/Spiritual development" thread, it means nothing.

[Hototo]

Lol.

Anger. Such a classic topic.

[garyvincent]

"the first order of business is forgiveness of self"

this topic / discussion picks my catalyst like a dirty nose
(lower chakra blockages)

... may i ask plenum ,

what techniques / tools were you working with when you
"... started working with orange ray in earnest."

[Plenum]

... may i ask plenum ,

what techniques / tools were you working with when you
"... started working with orange ray in earnest."

hello garyvincent!

I can only talk about this in a roundabout way, as my techniques and approach have been a mishmash of things that have come my way over the years, and might look like walking through a maze to someone on the outside.

I can only say that orange ray deals with personal identity issues ... and so is heavily rooted in the past.

personal identity issues reveal themself in comparing oneself to others ... so whenever one looks at oneself, and makes either a disfavourable or a favourable comparison to someone else ... you know it is orange ray related.

once the blockage is found, how do you deal with it? you try to trace it back to a root or originating experience (most likely from childhood), and then you go back and revisit that experience. You throw oneself into the emotion at the time, and then notice the 'conclusion' you drew from that experience. Such conclusions (belief patterns) will run along the lines of:

* never again, I'll never let myself feel this again (I'll never allow myself to be put in a similiar situation again in the future)

and such a strong statement creates a blockage in the flow of experience, and one has 'identified' or created a resistance against the experience/emotion.

as a child, this is understandable (avoid things that are painful). But it also creates division in the mind, and fractures the unity of creation (perceptually).

the key is to understand and see the step-by-step process by which such resistances are created, and then you can intervene at any point, and change the 'conclusion' that you made previously.

any decision you've made in the past (no matter how strong, or committed) can always be changed by the same way it was made; through a choice in the mind.

but identifying the causation is the key step to this self-karmic alleviation.

this causation will show itself in tension in real life. When there is a tension present against someone or something (a concept even), you can see that it is an echo of a long distant experience and the created resistance pattern.

[Jeremy]

Since awakening, resolving this issue has been one of my most important achievements. The years prior, I was filled with contempt and utter hate for my wife whom had put me through the ringer so to speak over the prior 5 years. I was left broke, homeless, and alone so I was forced to live on my parents living room floor for a year.

During those prior years of damage, there was one moment that will always stick with me though I don't hold it against myself anymore. It mainly scares me as I've always felt as if there was a darkness within me. This was made evident another time also. I was 21 or 22 maybe. My wife and a couple friends were drinking. I must have blacked up but from what my friend told me, our other friend was picking on me a little by play wrestling. He was 6'1 probably around 250lbs. Me being 5'6 and around 180lbs at the time, was no match. My friend could see I was getting angry then all of a sudden, he said I turned into someone else and I started throwing this 250lbs man around like a rag doll to which he promptly stopped.

Fast forward to about 4 years ago. My wife was in the deepest parts of her drug addiction/depression. I at the time started to disconnect from her as I was simply tired of trying to help her. I went out drinking with some friends. I finally somehow drove myself home after 8 solid hours of drinking. My wife sick to death from wondering where I was started drilling me on where I was. the last thing I remember, I reheated a hamburger.

The next thing I know, I hear a banging on the front door and the police coming in asking if everything was ok. I guess I was still a little out of it at that time so I puffed up and it's none of your f'n business. I guess he could see the state I was in, said "ok lets start over". My wife went upstairs with our daughter, grabbed some stuff and left. I just fell to the ground balling my eyes out because of the hell that I was being put through with her and her issues. He talked a little with me and left shortly after that.

As I walked around, I could not believe what I saw. I completely wrecked our house. There were plates broken everywhere. Broken windows, Tables tossed over, and I even managed to rip one of those old 1920's style swinging kitchen doors right off of its hinges. I mean I literally pulled or kicked the steel right out of this solid oak door. I wound up with a toenail half off of my big toe.

After my wife and I talked, she said it looked like I was possessed. My eyes were completely dilated black. She said that right as the cop banged on the door, I grabbed two knives as if I was about to attack whoever walked through that door. She said she yelled at me which is where she could see me snap back into reality. I'm pretty sure it was alcohol induced psychosis but ever since then, I've often wondered if there was a darker side to me. Sometimes I had felt that I would have no problem ripping someones throat out and not even being concerned over doing so.

Fast forward to this past year. Once I began this path, I started to realize the utter ridiculousness of getting angry at anything. If you think about it, becoming angry, especially angry enough to use such a powerful word such as hate accomplishes absolutely nothing. It not only forces one down into a never ending vicious pit of despair, it radiates to others thus amplifying these negative emotions by bringing other selves to your level.

Though my work isn't completely finished as there are still little issues here and there that will annoy me, I have made an amazing transformation in a relatively short period of time. There are other transcripts that show the need to sometimes let those emotions out just enough to give you that little insight as to what else needs work. I have found that simply taking a deep breath, smiling, and realizing the insignificance of getting angry over such a minute event in the grand scheme of things and for that I'm eternally grateful.

[xise]

I like reading about your experiences Jeremy! They are quite catalytic. Muc love brother!

[BrownEye]

My friend could see I was getting angry then all of a sudden, he said I turned into someone else and I started throwing this 250lbs man around like a rag doll to which he promptly stopped.

There is a reason alcohol used to be called 'spirits'. I went through the same experiences, at the point I black out, something else took over, something with a lot of energy to burn. Once I came to understand what was happening I quit drinking.

Your hatred for your wife is understandable. But, she may not even have been in control of herself to do what she did. And so, she may have been used as an instrument to teach you a lesson of a type.

There is no anger or hatred when we understand the reasons. In the physical the reasons are hidden from us, in order to force us to go through all of the emotional expressions.

[Melissa]

Sometimes I'm worried that I've accumulated so much anger that it'll surely cause cancer or any other related illness.