2001.12.23 No one can walk a totally pure path of light

[Ankh]

This is from today's Q'uote, which I found very interesting:

No one within your sphere is truly fearless in all ways, but it is well gently but determinedly to work on that fear, work on those separating emotions and realize that all actions expressed lovingly are metaphysically correct. It is not possible often within the Earth planes to make a pure choice because the physical vehicle won’t stand it or the budget won’t stand it, or the family won’t stand it, or something will fall apart that you wish to keep together if you pursue a totally pure path of light. As we said, there are times when one must make decisions that do not seem particularly loving. But if they are made carefully, thoughtfully, and because of love then we say that is excellent work. It might not be right, but it is not important to be right. It is important to be loving. So attempt to be right. Attempt to run that ship that you have. But attempt more to open the heart to love.

Sometimes I am obssessed with this purity, seeking a completely pure path of light/love, and I get very, very frustated and even angry at times, when it can not be achieved. I get angry at the Creator for putting me through these situations, and I get angry at this Earth for being as It is etc. So I found the above Q'uote very soothing and comforting.

In another part of that session, Q'uo also said this:

When you are expressing this nascent fourth-density energy you, if you are very aware, will feel it as an energy exchange even if the entity with whom you are communicating is half a globe away. There is an energy exchange between those who are vibrating together in love with each other on the fourth-density level which is very heartening and very healing for both entities, and we encourage each to attempt in all relationships to move from a point of fourth-density love, acceptance, forgiveness and willingness to move on. That is the pattern of learning, not to linger too long in negative emotions but, rather, to honor that negative emotion whenever it arises, to sit with it as long as it needs to be sat with in order to be accepted, in order to feel that it has been honored. And then, when it has been honored and there has come a peace and a balance and some small understanding, it is time to say, “Amen. I am sorry. I begin again.” And let mistakes be mistakes, but stay in the light and the love of the one infinite Creator while you make the mistake, and, after you make the mistake, allow yourself your own love rather than your judgment. For judge and grasp the lesson you certainly will, but then it is time to release that.

This energy exchange is something that I have experienced myself, and sometimes even with strangers. Although I must admit that it doesn't always feel comfortable, and I'm not completely there yet. But I understand what Q'uo are talking about here.

The other part is also very interesting, when Q'uo speak of "sitting with the negative emotions", cause that is exactly what happened yesterday after my night shift at work. At the gathering in the morning with my co-workers, just before leaving the work, I found myself with a completely closed heart. These kind of situations, especially when I interact with other-selves, always give me such an intense anxiety, that I never want to even look at them, and the least to work with them. But yesterday, when I got home, I did just what Q'uo said here above. I was just sitting with it, quiet and silent. It felt like a stone lifted from my shoulders after a while. Instead of doing and trying something or working with this, I was just being with the situation and myself in that situation. I hope it learned me more to look at the negative side, which I sometimes have difficulties with, as I don't want to acknowledge it.

Here is the full session if someone wants to read it:

Q'uo, 2001.12.23

[zenmaster]

Yes, Carla hands out some comforting advice occasionally.

[Aaron]

Thank you for posting this!

I'm especially interested in the first part of that second quote... I know it's true, but to put it into practice and balance the self enough to be able to be within the beginnings of that fourth density energy is extraordinarily difficult.

And I modified the thread title for you in order to fit this forum's thread titling guidelines. That's twice I've had to modify your thread titles, dear problematic member... What are we going to do with you? :p

[Parsons]

Great Q'uo'te, great advice! Thanks for sharing.

Yes, Carla hands out some comforting advice occasionally.

I will embrace this advice and briefly accept (rather than avoid) my negative side and ask: Who are you trying to convince (everyone, or yourself?) with your implication that the Q'uo-style channelings are entirely the consciousness of the instrument? I don't appreciate you making a deceptive statement rather than simply/openly offering your opinion.

[zenmaster]

Yes, Carla hands out some comforting advice occasionally.

I will embrace this advice and briefly accept (rather than avoid) my negative side and ask: Who are you trying to convince (everyone, or yourself?) with your implication that the Q'uo-style channelings are entirely the consciousness of the instrument? I don't appreciate you making a deceptive statement rather than simply/openly offering your opinion.

This must be a big lesson for you if you're stating some disclaimer of your internal psychological dynamic. Basically, no transpersonal-level communication is entirely the "consciousness" (within the ego-conscious awareness) of the channeler. However, the experience largely dictates what is possible to express and as it turns out, this is mainly the faithful 3D notions of our collective mind filtered through a personal unconscious to consciousness.

[Cyan]

I wonder what kind of place this forum would be if every participant had to memorize and learn how to apply the "faulty ways of logical argumentation" starting from ad hominem etc.

Might actually get us somewhere.

[GentleReckoning]

Well, the desire to prove yourself over another is a very basic distortion. It generally stems from insecurity. It is much more fruitful to enter into discussions with the desire to simply communicate your perceived reality as clearly as possible.

If we enter into discussions 'knowing' we are right, then communication cannot happen with the person we are communicating with. Instead, we are attempting to use the person that we are engaging with as a way of leveraging our point across to others, establishing a perceived intellectual superiority to others.

[Spaced]

Well, the desire to prove yourself over another is a very basic distortion. It generally stems from insecurity. It is much more fruitful to enter into discussions with the desire to simply communicate your perceived reality as clearly as possible.

The way I see it, zenmaster is doing just this and it causes all sorts of reactions in people. He's quite handy at finding distortions I think hehe

[Jeremy]

To get this train back on its proverbial tracks, it really does seem quite difficult if not impossible to permanently walk in the light. I myself will go through periods of weeks where everything is simply perfect then suddenly I'm hit with the reminder that this path wasn't meant to be that easy.

To me, to be able to permantly walk in the light means that you have accomplished all that oh had planned. But even then I think I remember one channeling where it stated that you'll just experience more catalysts that weren't particularly in "plan A" so to speak.

Everyone gets burned out every once in a while and when one rests in the desert, the most important part is to find the rocky path yet again and keep on keepin on

[Turtle]

Even in your worst moments, when you find yourself confused or hurt or suffering, you are still connected to all that is, and to your loved ones and guides and angels, etc....

If you are always connected, you can always consciously connect and uplift yourself.

The very title of this thread to me is silly. You are human. You will become tired and make mistakes. So what? Big deal.

[Meerie]

Sometimes I am obssessed with this purity, seeking a completely pure path of light/love, and I get very, very frustated and even angry at times, when it can not be achieved. I get angry at the Creator for putting me through these situations, and I get angry at this Earth for being as It is etc. So I found the above Q'uote very soothing and comforting.

Isn't the underlying issue perfectionism?
I think that is very common when one is on the path, and understandable, we all want to do our best. And we can be our own worst critics.
Perfectionism and self-critical thoughts seem to stem from yellow ray imbalance.
I had my share of that lately as well

[Zachary]

I can relate to what your saying.

I am just now beginning to come to terms with and face myself, to realize that for a large portion of my life, I have carried hate and anger deep within me. I have realized that much of this stems from feeling of having been wronged/betrayed by people around me. I feel that throughout my time spent on this planet, along the way, people have hurt me and in some cases I have had, and still have a very hard time letting go.
Each instance I feel that I have been deeply hurt, I have stored within me more hate. I have a had a hard time coming to terms with this because I feel that at the core I am an incredibly compassionate, wise, and accepting being so I have often chosen to 'look the other way' when the hate within me manifests. Ever since I have been able to perceive myself as an infinite being, I have striven to become balanced. I have had ideas of becoming someone who is able to continuously remain in a state of mindfulness, a person that does not experience anger, is unconditionally accepting and who sees the Self in All. I have had trouble dealing with the fact that, I have not become this being and I seem unable to maintain this state of, what I perceive, as balance. This often has led me to feel angry towards myself...wondering how, deep down, I can feel so capable of achieving this state of balance , yet failing to manifest such a state on a consistent basis and often experiencing, what I perceive as, the complete polar opposite: anger and hate towards others and myself "why can't I be this way?" "why can't they just be this way" "-this person- is so ignorant, they don't realize they're doing this" "-this person- doesn't see what I see, how can they be so blind?" "I just want this experience to be over"

Its quite a paradox to me, as I have access to all the information I need. I know what I need to do, yet CHOOSE not to do it, at times. I realize on some level that It is I who am wronging myself and not others, regardless of what seems to be. I choose to allow negative thoughts to flow through me. I am the only one responsible for any and all of my suffering...I know this, then I don't. I take responsibility, then I blame...I go back and forth like a see-saw. Its almost as if, when I judge others for their 'wrong doings', it gives me a feeling of control but its false...I feel somewhere inside me that to take complete responsibility for my life is to become weak (as silly as it may sound, its something I struggle with letting go on a deep level).

I am working on letting go, and holding myself accountable for the suffering I choose to experience, regardless how I feel emotionally in the moment. It is difficult, but what can I do? I must continue on, I must progress.

[Ruth]

I can relate to what your saying.

I am just now beginning to come to terms with and face myself, to realize that for a large portion of my life, I have carried hate and anger deep within me. I have realized that much of this stems from feeling of having been wronged/betrayed by people around me. I feel that throughout my time spent on this planet, along the way, people have hurt me and in some cases I have had, and still have a very hard time letting go.
Each instance I feel that I have been deeply hurt, I have stored within me more hate. I have a had a hard time coming to terms with this because I feel that at the core I am an incredibly compassionate, wise, and accepting being so I have often chosen to 'look the other way' when the hate within me manifests. Ever since I have been able to perceive myself as an infinite being, I have striven to become balanced. I have had ideas of becoming someone who is able to continuously remain in a state of mindfulness, a person that does not experience anger, is unconditionally accepting and who sees the Self in All. I have had trouble dealing with the fact that, I have not become this being and I seem unable to maintain this state of, what I perceive, as balance. This often has led me to feel angry towards myself...wondering how, deep down, I can feel so capable of achieving this state of balance , yet failing to manifest such a state on a consistent basis and often experiencing, what I perceive as, the complete polar opposite: anger and hate towards others and myself "why can't I be this way?" "why can't they just be this way" "-this person- is so ignorant, they don't realize they're doing this" "-this person- doesn't see what I see, how can they be so blind?" "I just want this experience to be over"

Its quite a paradox to me, as I have access to all the information I need. I know what I need to do, yet CHOOSE not to do it, at times. I realize on some level that It is I who am wronging myself and not others, regardless of what seems to be. I choose to allow negative thoughts to flow through me. I am the only one responsible for any and all of my suffering...I know this, then I don't. I take responsibility, then I blame...I go back and forth like a see-saw. Its almost as if, when I judge others for their 'wrong doings', it gives me a feeling of control but its false...I feel somewhere inside me that to take complete responsibility for my life is to become weak (as silly as it may sound, its something I struggle with letting go on a deep level).

I am working on letting go, and holding myself accountable for the suffering I choose to experience, regardless how I feel emotionally in the moment. It is difficult, but what can I do? I must continue on, I must progress.

RE: bolded part above

I used to feel this way about others and their words and actions. Then I started to realize that often, they felt the same way about me. In other words, we all see things differently and experience things differently. When I started trying to let go of "what I know" and stopped believing that what I know is all there is to know, I realized that I could learn something new from each encounter with one of these other selves who see things differently.

And you are right - you have all your own answers on how to handle this. It is simply a choice. And Q'uo have given us the best way to just relax and make it.

For me, it is more like a "stepping out of myself" feeling when I just allow those negative thoughts to be seen. Really a bit difficult to put into words.

Best wishes for your success in this lesson plan, Zachary!

[Spaced]

Zachary, just remember that it takes time to effectuate change. Your unconscious mind is used to following certain patterns and will seek to continue to follow them, even if your conscious mind has other ideas. So how do you train your unconscious mind to follow new patterns? For me two things helped: being mindful of my thoughts and tracing the source of any anger or hate I was feeling, and then meditating later on what caused me to start thinking that way in the first place. For me the source is always an aspect of myself whose formation I can trace back to childhood trauma (or sometimes past life trauma ).

This process takes time, to break the old habits and develop healthier ones, but with faith it can be easily accomplished.

The archetype that I feel relates to this is the Alchemist, who through patience and discipline can transform the energies of the body.

[Zachary]

@ Ruth and @ Spaced

Thank you guys very much for the useful information! I think you are both 'right'.

Regarding becoming more mindful, like I said, I know what I need to do....I just don't wanna do it sometimes! But why not, when in every instance I walk away in a state of complete grace and harmony with myself and my surroundings? Thats the question I should be asking myself.

For me the cure-all tool has been meditation. Sitting, silent meditation with intention to maintain a silent single pointed-like awareness. I find great peace in this, its almost like, only during this time, when thoughts are absent...I am able to truly heal. I know Quo' talks a lot about the importance of meditation and this is in part why I resonate so much with their message; as I have found in my life, meditation to benefit every single aspect of my life, as it helps me experience the world from a more present and aware state.

When I come out of the meditative state, I feel as though I truly am choosing...because whatever seems to present itself following that period, even if is someone yelling at me for some reason, lets say, I perceive the event with a more open heart and feel untouchable...because my ego isn't so strong @ the forefront trying to defend itself...I have much more to say regarding my relationship with this state of being but instead of posting it all here I think I will start a new thread sometime today.

[Ankh]

To me, to be able to permantly walk in the light means that you have accomplished all that oh had planned.

That was actually a very interesting thought. Ra said a similar thing: "A perfectly balanced entity would become tired rather than visibly aged. The lessons being learned, the entity would depart."

Meaning that maybe it is possible to permanently walk in the light...? Although Ra said that "there is no outward shelter in your illusion from the gusts, flurries, and blizzards of quick and cruel catalyst", in the same answer they say: "However, to the pure, all that is encountered speaks of the love and the light of the One Infinite Creator. The cruelest blow is seen with an ambiance of challenges offered and opportunities to come. Thusly, the great pitch of light is held high above such an one so that all interpretation may be seen to be protected by light."

Hmm... Interesting thoughts...

Sometimes I am obssessed with this purity, seeking a completely pure path of light/love, and I get very, very frustated and even angry at times, when it can not be achieved. I get angry at the Creator for putting me through these situations, and I get angry at this Earth for being as It is etc. So I found the above Q'uote very soothing and comforting.

Isn't the underlying issue perfectionism?
I think that is very common when one is on the path, and understandable, we all want to do our best. And we can be our own worst critics.

You're right and I completely agree with you.

There must be some kind of balance perhaps, between accepting imperfections and short-comings, and yet always striving to walk the purest path...?

I have had ideas of becoming someone who is able to continuously remain in a state of mindfulness, a person that does not experience anger, is unconditionally accepting and who sees the Self in All. I have had trouble dealing with the fact that, I have not become this being and I seem unable to maintain this state of, what I perceive, as balance. This often has led me to feel angry towards myself...wondering how, deep down, I can feel so capable of achieving this state of balance , yet failing to manifest such a state on a consistent basis and often experiencing, what I perceive as, the complete polar opposite: anger and hate towards others and myself "why can't I be this way?"

I can relate to what you are saying here, brother. It's been a big catalyst for me too, to perceive anger towards others, and disharmony within myself when that happens. I've been feeling like I am forced to deal with negativity against my own free will, cause I didn't want to experience negativity. And I've been very angry at the Creator for that.

[BrownEye]

Thusly, the great pitch of light is held high above such an one so that all interpretation may be seen to be protected by light

Higher self is thought to be above us, and to take the higher road, the higher perspective, is to have a perspective from a higher angle, or an angle closer to that of the higher self, or the true self, rather than the common perspective of the animal self.

[AnthroHeart]

Ankh, I too have gotten angry at Creator for allowing me to follow a path that I thought was good, but ended up ruining a lot in my life. It came without warning. Or rather, there was warning, but not the kind that I realized. I was too naive to recognize the signs. Such happens in life when one tries to be spiritual. I was trying way too hard, and had delusions of grandeur. I had the small feeling in me that it was not right, but I listened to the erring voice within me. So I was trying to walk the path of light, but it led me to where I did not want to go. And I suffered a lot because of it. But hey, live and learn, right. In it "God" was tricking me to building hatred toward Lucifer. I knew in the back of my mind that God is love and compassion, but I ignored that and went for the hate. It caused me to hate the one I love.

[Ludi]

Get to close to the light and you may go blind.
I admire all of your seeking towards the light, but if the darkness within oneself is rejected then you will simply not be a balanced being and will experience the emotional distortions you speak of such as frustration, anger etc.
@Gemini Wolf: God may be love, but he is the love that creates and destroys, to complete this octave one must integrate the negative as well as the positive within oneself, thus knowing oneself/infinite creator entirely.
Every moment is spiritual. Appreciate all experience. There are no mistakes.

That's simply my opinion by all means have your own perception/experience lol.

[We are God]

There must be some kind of balance perhaps, between accepting imperfections and short-comings, and yet always striving to walk the purest path...?

Accepting your imperfections and short-comings is the purest path, my friend.

I have had ideas of becoming someone who is able to continuously remain in a state of mindfulness, a person that does not experience anger, is unconditionally accepting and who sees the Self in All. I have had trouble dealing with the fact that, I have not become this being and I seem unable to maintain this state of, what I perceive, as balance. This often has led me to feel angry towards myself...wondering how, deep down, I can feel so capable of achieving this state of balance , yet failing to manifest such a state on a consistent basis and often experiencing, what I perceive as, the complete polar opposite: anger and hate towards others and myself "why can't I be this way?"

I can relate to what you are saying here, brother. It's been a big catalyst for me too, to perceive anger towards others, and disharmony within myself when that happens. I've been feeling like I am forced to deal with negativity against my own free will, cause I didn't want to experience negativity. And I've been very angry at the Creator for that.

Anger in itself is not a bad thing - it exists for a reason. It is how you make use of it that determines its quality. While it isn't possible to give one piece of advice for all situations, I would suggest considering meditating upon the anger just as you did when you were having difficulties at your job.

I have grown to love anger - if my body decides to react to a situation in such a way, then it is an opportunity to better know myself, you know?

[kanonathena]

I think one way to see walking the spiritual path is simply to respect free will, the free will of the creator inside of you. let it fully express itself.

[norral]

there is nothing wrong with us. there just isnt. does a mom think a child is defective because they get angry ? i think not. we are learning how to harness ourselves in a constructive manner. if it takes 1 life 10 lifes or 1000 lives so what who cares. eventually we are going to get there. we all know when we are on and when we are off. trust your feeling love yourself and others as best u can in this particular moment and forget about rating yourself. just be yourself which at various times can be saintly, selfish, kind , mean spirited, compassionate and cold. didnt Ra say we are ALL THINGS . so there all things not just some things. life is like sex sometimes it can be real tender, sometimes real passionate sometimes in between. its still sex ha ha . bad sex is still not that bad, better than getting hit by a car ha ha.

norral

[Steppingfeet]

Ankh, in your first post Q'uo differentiates between being "right" and being "loving". While both concepts,to love and to be right, have a host of variant meanings with a great deal of overlap between the two, I nevertheless find it a helpful distinction to make.

Doing so helps orient my own vision away from the need for accurate or correct perception that - through analysis, classification, naming, and defining - often contributes to the illusion of separation. And re-orients the vision in the direction of that love which melts the boundaries. That love which sees the surface differences but embraces the one being shining through all outer appearances, wildly distinct and separate though things may seem to be.

I needed reminded of that thought. Thank you for posting, dear Ankh. : )

In response to the experience of Ankh, Jeremy, and others regarding not fully living what one knows is possible and true, an experience I certainly share, I think it is most helpful to remove judgment when viewing the self.

You see such and such distortion. You see energy blockage. You see confusion. You see lack of full embodiment of your highest spiritual aspirations. You see pain in you. You see lack of love in you. You see negative emotions and non-enlightenment running through your experience.

No matter how seemingly wrong is your experience by your standard's or the group's standards, it is still... "okay". Those energies - as blocked, tangled, confused, wayward, and undisciplined as they may be - have their time, and their purpose, and their function.

Those energies can be lifted up and transformed, of course, through the disciplines of the personality, through (like Jeremy was saying) meditative awareness, through knowing, through accepting, through balancing. Those energies can consume less of the attention and identity as the distortions fall away, and the outer identity more perfectly merges with the inner. But the existence of distortions in the life experience is not indicative of failure, or spiritual wrongness.

Rather, they simply help highlight for you where the work needs doing, where there is good material to catalyze spiritual evolution. And they are functional only insofar as they turn your attention to the one.

I think we all have the capacity to gain some "distance" from our catalyst. To sort of step back and simply witness the outer play of self with eyes that love but do not judge. Eyes that see but do not reject. I think we can develop an awareness that, like the mirror mind, allows those "apparent" distortions of self to be. Accepting those distortions as they are because *you* are greater than those distortions, and this knowing is in your awareness.

You rest in that balanced awareness between, key word, "apparent" distortions and total perfection.

That perfection is knowable, and it's not through the beating of the self into a desired outer configuration that the perfection is realized, but through seeing that no matter what you do in life and how lost you may seem to be, the self is *already* perfect, apparent distortions included.

This is knowable, as I think Jeremy was getting at, through bringing more and more conscious awareness into your experience, and keeping that awareness locked onto the present moment.

Love you all.

[Ankh]

Thank you for your beautiful thoughts, GLB, and those beautiful Ra quotes. /

I've been pretty down these last days. There has been a lot of stuff from the past that has been floating up to the surface of my conscious mind, which weighted tons. These things knocked me out almost completely, leaving me in a dark place with almost no energy. But for the first time I felt gratitude for these things. I feel gratitude that I nevertheless had *time and opportunity* to work with these things. Not many on this planet have this time or opportunity to contemplate the Law of One, or to work in consciousness. But I do. Thank you. I feel gratitude that I have the best material on this planet (if not the whole Universe), which showing the direction to the light and love. Thank you. I feel gratitude for a most beautiful family and the most beautiful friends, both seen and unseen, who are here with me, and who are showing that I am not alone... Thank you.

But what I realized is that I didn't judge myself this time, for not being able to serve prefectly, or not being able to radiate love or light, or whatever other perceived mistakes. *That all was well*.

I feel gratitude for negativity and dark places now, instead of as before, getting angry at the Creator for putting me through situations like that. It is "ok" to not walk anywhere... It is equally important to just sit down and just breath (and to contemplate the Law of One :p).

I don't know how I got to this place of this gratitude, but I am/was there...!

[Lycen]

Thanks for the reminder Ankh!

Also all of you for sharing your thoughts here, I for one feel uplifted .)

I think it's remembered again now but I will repeat with what I agree.

All is well

It is okay to feel "lower" emotions, honor it (be aware and acknowledge) and then let it go. Instead have a good laugh how you chose to forget

[Steppingfeet]

I don't know how I got to this place of this gratitude, but I am/was there...!

Though you and you alone are responsible for generating your own state of consciousness, I think you also have help from a rather advanced soul walking this Earth. I cannot say who he is, but will say that his first name rhymes with Daren, and his last name rhymes with... nothing actually, there is nothing that rhymes with his last name. : )

Gratitude is so key. And when catalyst is at its strongest, holding to gratitude and expressing it is a conscious exercise of will and faith.

Lots of love