2018_1215 - Escaping Catalyst

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Q'uo says here (emphasis mine):  

Oftentimes it will be discovered that it is more efficient to remain in the monogamous relationship, for this relationship offers a greater intensity of the use of catalyst so that the catalyst may not be escaped, shall we say, and put upon the shoulders of many instead of upon the shoulders of the one for whom it is generated.

Seems to be a strong implication here that this is not a desirable state- to take the mantle of catalyst off the shoulders for those whom it was intended, and attempt to redistribute it among the group.  And yet, this is precisely what some sources keep encouraging us to do.  Some even say this is our "mission."  Maybe those sources are lost.

It reminds me of this one from Ra (emphasis mine):

There are many Wanderers whose dysfunction with regard to the planetary ways of your peoples have caused, to some extent, a condition of being caught up in a configuration of mind complex activity which, to the corresponding extent, may prohibit the intended service.

Could it be that one possible "configuration of mind complex activity" being referred to here is the concept of martyrdom?  

And, if so, how is that different from this (emphasis mine):

These are planetary entities harvested — Wanderers only in the sense that they chose, in fourth-density love, to immediately reincarnate in third density rather than proceeding towards fourth density. This causes them to be Wanderers of a type, Wanderers who have never left the Earth plane because of their free will rather than because of their vibrational level.

What if... their never having left is the result of having been "caught up in a configuration of mind complex activity" which is actually prohibiting the intended service?

Or even more simply put, what happens when a choice "made in love" turns out to actually be prohibitive in terms of the intended service?

Should we just keep choosing the same thing over and over again, then?   And then when things don't work out (again) simply throw up our hands and say, "Oh well, the intention was loving so you will just have to forgive me (again) for making your life harder."  Is that "learning to love"?

Is it really "loving" to continue to take actions that prohibit one's own intended service, and actually end up messing things up for others?

Could it be that taking on another's pain and suffering only makes it harder to process one's own?  And is not really serving others?