Paying attention to negative emotions

[Stranger]

I'm discovering more and more how important it is to deal with negative emotions when they arise, and what I've noticed is this.  I might feel frustration and unhappiness and choose to disregard it - thinking that I'm doing well by staying superficially peaceful, even patting myself on the back for doing such a good job of not raging.  Speak nicely to people, even meditate - no overt aggression.  But the energy is still there, and it tries to sneak malicious behavior under the radar - suddenly I'm dissatisfied with things, so I'm very very subtly criticizing someone; it might not even sound like criticism, but the underlying motive is certainly that.  And I'm not even aware of it.  But then it takes just a slight trigger and verbal aggression spills out - this happens so quickly that there's no time to react or reflect beforehand, and afterwards it's too late.

Emotions are like lightning.  When the charge is building up, there's a slight change in the air; we might notice it but not pay it any mind.  But then, all of a sudden, all of that potential energy manifests as a lightning bolt, and at that point there's nothing to be done but repair the damage.  So the time to pay attention is to that subtle change in our emotional tone, even if it seems like it's really not a big deal.

Transforming our emotions through love seems to be a vital aspect of becoming more consistently loving and crystallized.  How? Well, that's the question, but love is the answer, I think.  Jeshua talks about seeing our emotions as an unhappy inner child who is confused by the world, and "wrapping our angel wings" of love around him or her.  Anyone with similar experiences?

[Plenum]

Transforming our emotions through love seems to be a vital aspect of becoming more consistently loving and crystallized.  How? Well, that's the question, but love is the answer, I think.  

I think there are always deeper reasons for any catalyst.  Part of moving through that catalyst is to allow oneself to experience it.  If it's not allowed to be experienced internally, and witnessed and processed, then it will play out in an external fashion, where it involves other-selves.  I think that's the two options that you are referring to.  Bottling things up (or denial) will lead to the explosive, external experience, as you referenced.

Things have to be experienced; one way or the other.

The first option is preferable, as it leads to less of an 'imprint' on reality, and thus any ill-effects can be ameliorated more swiftly - ie through mentation alone.  But it's also the case, in my experience, that you just do not have enough data to do all things mentally, and so external experience is necessary to get more of a handle on things, as real-world physical feedback.  Again, there are ways to limit the potential negative fallout, but sometimes it's just not possible to do that.  One of the greatest gifts in my life is having a best friend that we've said the harshest, most bitter, and cruel things to each other ... because there was no other way for us to see the mirror of denied thoughts and actions.  There was enough understanding, however, that the friendship could recover; those things said to anyone else would have led to irrevocable and irrepairable ending of relationships.

There is much in Shadow of the Psyche that we don't even realise that is there.  In the immortal words of Donald Rumsfeld - these are 'Unknown Unknowns'.  We need a mirror to see our 'unknown unknowns'.

[Berilac Sandydowns]

Been a major theme for me lately. Uncontrolled Flash Reaction.
Mouth on autopilot while brain looks on in horror. :p

Just yesterday I was contemplating this:
Luke 10:18 "And He said to them, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from Heaven..."

Maybe out of context. Maybe not.
Pondering...

[Stranger]

Thanks for offering your thoughts, Plenum. As I was processing this further, I realized that so far I have been dealing with this type of catalyst by working to find love for others. I am truly convinced at this time that love is the magic key to transforming any negative experience on Earth - it is the spiritual alchemy, the philosopher's stone. I've found it very very productive to see all catalyst as essentially asking the same exact question: How will you find love in this situation?

However what I did not realize is that love toward self is equally important - and in experiences such as frustration, when we're in difficult circumstances, it is kindness toward self that is essential. By comforting oneself and being kind to oneself, recognizing that the experience is difficult and we're doing the best we can, the frustration is transformed into acceptance and good motivation to keep going.

This article by the woman who has been studying self-compassion for years now is a terrific read:
http://bit.ly/1OnB8NE

[Plenum]

thanks for the link.

Kindness towards the self is definitely a very interesting thing to investigate.  Depending on childhood circumstances, there can be deeply ingrained attitudes that receiving love and attention is conditional on some kind of performance, or exceeding expectations in terms of being the best.  From there, it's a short step to withholding love and attention for oneself, as the external attitude becomes internalised, in an attempt to 'be good' and 'fit in'.

/ /

Been a major theme for me lately. Uncontrolled Flash Reaction.
Mouth on autopilot while brain looks on in horror.  :p

some great comedic movies have been predicated on such a theme