01-05-2019, 03:10 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-05-2019, 04:51 PM by redchartreuse.)
While I get the idea, at least theoretically, of what Q'uo is saying here about "giving praise and thanksgiving for all catalyst" I have to admit I often struggle greatly with this.
For me, it seems that much of the catalyst on offer in my experience revolves around the giving/receiving of praise and thanksgiving itself. So therefore, I end up in this circular situation whereby in order to better process the catalyst designed to help me learn about praise and thanksgiving, I would need to have already successfully processed the selfsame catalyst and had reaped the rewards.
Some examples of the ways this shows up for me: Receiving thanks and praise from others only in a very circumscribed way, like only when I submit to another's will for me, yet being rebuked for following my own path in life, even when it proves to be fruitful. Or feeling forced to give thanks and praise to others at times when it was not a genuine expression of my feelings. Or getting gifts at Christmastime from others that I didn't want or ask for, and being made to pretend that I feel gratitude. Or conversely, receiving a superficial show of gratitude from others for gifts I got for them, when it was pretty clear on an energetic level that they didn't like it. Or having praise lavished on me in a vain attempt to manipulate me into another person's agenda, only to have it turn to scorn when I don't take the bait. Or being criticized for openly displaying my inner gifts because it "makes others uncomfortable." The list goes on...
I have to say, every time I hear the phrase "thanks and praise" the first thing that comes to mind is sitting in Catholic mass.
Let us give thanks to the Lord, our God.
It is right to give Him thanks and praise.
Something in me is utterly repugned by this. I suppose first and foremost it is the phrase "the Lord, our God" (rather than, for example, the Creator) that is extremely dissonant to me, moreso than the giving of thanks and praise. Though I also don't like having been told this is the "right" thing to do.
To be honest, I rather despise the term "the Lord" and feel angry even thinking or writing about it. I absolutely refused/still refuse to use this term when referring to the Creator, and even "God" is only marginally acceptable to me.
I can remember sitting there in church and thinking of all the horrific atrocities I was hearing about in the news wondering why we were all supposed to be sitting there in that room giving "thanks and praise" for all this suffering.
The whole thing seems to call up some horrible cellular memory of abuse and slavery. It's like... being chained up in a dungeon literally dying of thirst and being tossed a hard, moldy, piece of bread. Then being mercilessly beaten for not giving "thanks and praise" to my "Lord" for being so gracious as to be giving me any food at all. Water be damned.
Sorry if this all sounds morbid, it's just what comes up for me.
For me, it seems that much of the catalyst on offer in my experience revolves around the giving/receiving of praise and thanksgiving itself. So therefore, I end up in this circular situation whereby in order to better process the catalyst designed to help me learn about praise and thanksgiving, I would need to have already successfully processed the selfsame catalyst and had reaped the rewards.
Some examples of the ways this shows up for me: Receiving thanks and praise from others only in a very circumscribed way, like only when I submit to another's will for me, yet being rebuked for following my own path in life, even when it proves to be fruitful. Or feeling forced to give thanks and praise to others at times when it was not a genuine expression of my feelings. Or getting gifts at Christmastime from others that I didn't want or ask for, and being made to pretend that I feel gratitude. Or conversely, receiving a superficial show of gratitude from others for gifts I got for them, when it was pretty clear on an energetic level that they didn't like it. Or having praise lavished on me in a vain attempt to manipulate me into another person's agenda, only to have it turn to scorn when I don't take the bait. Or being criticized for openly displaying my inner gifts because it "makes others uncomfortable." The list goes on...
I have to say, every time I hear the phrase "thanks and praise" the first thing that comes to mind is sitting in Catholic mass.
Let us give thanks to the Lord, our God.
It is right to give Him thanks and praise.
Something in me is utterly repugned by this. I suppose first and foremost it is the phrase "the Lord, our God" (rather than, for example, the Creator) that is extremely dissonant to me, moreso than the giving of thanks and praise. Though I also don't like having been told this is the "right" thing to do.
To be honest, I rather despise the term "the Lord" and feel angry even thinking or writing about it. I absolutely refused/still refuse to use this term when referring to the Creator, and even "God" is only marginally acceptable to me.
I can remember sitting there in church and thinking of all the horrific atrocities I was hearing about in the news wondering why we were all supposed to be sitting there in that room giving "thanks and praise" for all this suffering.
The whole thing seems to call up some horrible cellular memory of abuse and slavery. It's like... being chained up in a dungeon literally dying of thirst and being tossed a hard, moldy, piece of bread. Then being mercilessly beaten for not giving "thanks and praise" to my "Lord" for being so gracious as to be giving me any food at all. Water be damned.
Sorry if this all sounds morbid, it's just what comes up for me.
