Punishing ourselves for our "sins"

[AnthroHeart]

I realize that our afterlife will be whatever we choose to create.
Hell will exist for some people. Mainly those that feel undeserving.
But how will I know in that hightened state that I won't want to punish myself for my sins of this life, and perhaps past lives too?
How will I feel like I'm only worthy for hell, even though it's temporary?

Because that's how I sometimes feel in this life.

I can probably count on one or two hands the times I've hurt others, or came close to hurting others.
And probably 100's of times where I've wanted others to suffer in my thoughts.

How do I know that I won't choose hell for myself for a short time? A personal, psychological hell?

In order to learn my lessons, and maybe not have to repeat 3D.

I'm the harshest judge of myself, but I do know someone else who is perhaps more vindictive than I am.

I've been honest as a person, but there are times where I am so dishonest, and it happens pretty often.

I like anthros, but it's often in an improper and unclean way. Why can't I just love them for who they are, rather than making it dirty?

[Minyatur]

You think too much GW, learn to let go and forgive. You are creating the hell of your over-thinking right now but I am not sure it will necessary reach your afterlife even if kept as it is.

In the afterlife you already are something that has infinitely been and will be, also you exist within an existing structure of patterns that you evolve through and are a portion of one unified spirit.

All is well. Forgive, let go and grow in light and love from it all.

[AnthroHeart]

In infinitely many dimensions, my parallel selves have done the worst things imaginable.

But also good things too.

[Minyatur]

In infinitely many dimensions, my parallel selves have done the worst things imaginable.

But also good things too.

Yeah, you are all things.

The good news is that the facets that do bad things are worth understanding and finding love for. To just look at the bad deeds is shallow. We need to wonder what got them where they are and how what we all are came to do these things, then all there is to find is love for me, you and all other things that the Creator is.

In the end we all will rejoice in the light and love of the One Infinite Creator, nothing lesser.

[APeacefulWarrior]

Good/bad, clean/dirty, and all the other dichotomies we base 3D life around are distortions. They're illusions. Fundamentally, there's no real thing as "sin" at all. It's just a perception of having broken the rules in 3D life, but those rules are wholly arbitrary and created in a corner of the cosmos which was set up specifically to be weird and unpredictable.

Life on Earth is like a movie, or a video game. The specifics of your actions cease to matter when the "game" is over. Think about a game like Skyrim or GTA, where you're basically free to be as "good" or "bad" as you like. While there might be in-game punishments for breaking in-game rules, fundamentally, when the game is turned off all those rules and violations thereof go away. It might be possible to sin in Skyrim, but those sins are erased the moment the game ends or you start a new character.

The only difference is that there is still karma, but karma is... non-arbitrary. Fundamentally, it's largely about dealing with the consequences of one's actions, be they good or bad. And as long as you're living your life without bringing much harm to other entities around you, chances are you're racking up very little bad karma. I mean, as a concrete example, it really does not matter what fantasies you have involving cartoon animals as long as those don't translate into harming real animals. Which I'm sure you wouldn't do.

For many entities, a life on Earth is basically an experiment in self-revelation. Using a situation where nearly anything CAN be done as a way of seeing what one WILL do, given nearly unlimited options. Then the broad patterns revealed through your choices throughout a lifetime become the basis for choosing your next incarnation or other learning/growing experience. It's simply an opportunity to better understand your higher self.

So perhaps your next step towards self-forgiveness is realizing that you have far less to forgive than you might think.

[Minyatur]

I like anthros, but it's often in an improper and unclean way. Why can't I just love them for who they are, rather than making it dirty?

To answer this specifically, because you have yet to heal wounds that distort your love.

Once you have healed, these things will fade. For now they offer a symbolic reflection of your state of being and what you have to heal, might require a work of self-analysis and a bit of honesty.

When bad within the self is understood as broken, it is made vulnerable. Once it is made vulnerable, it is open to heal.