01-16-2012, 05:45 AM
I greet you all, on your great travel. I have joined this forum with the intent to learn and discuss the Law of One, as well as the self, and things that are mysterious to me. Brothers, sisters, I thank you for this opportunity to be here on this forum to further our seeking; my desire to participate in this seeking of The Infinite One may be explained with a story of my life, since I could not use the appropriate adjective. I also found that this a proper introduction as to why I'm here for those who inquire and those that enjoy reading.
As a child I cannot say I was feeling like a wanderer, I do not even know the exact meaning of it. Though I did grow up for some of my life as a loner, thinking that my behavior at home wouldn't be tolerated at school, and honestly thought it was embarrassing. I thought I would not be accepted by others at school, so little effort was made to express my self, and more was made on finding personal flaws I dared not let slip. Only with family members would I talk or hang out with comfortably, in particular my cousin. My brother and uncle were also fun to be with until I began doing things they did not do, and those things were influenced onto me by my cousin.
Me and him were like another set of brothers, and any opportunity I got to hang out with him I was grateful for. In fact, for some time he was like an escape route to were I could do things I wasn't free to do at home, or school or almost any other place. We smoked marijuana in our teen years secretively, & we went out doing graffiti nearly as often as we met. At one point in my teen years I ran away from home and went to the city where he stayed at to live as a bum. To paint the picture, I rebelled against authority and this included school. Unfortunately the plan to "bum it" in this city did not even make it past the first night. I was questioned by police officers and so I fabricated a fitting story then went to his home and somehow, our parents agreed to my staying there so long as I attended school. He and I didn't like police, or any government officials, presidents, etc. we enjoyed hearing Underground Hip-Hop music about things it's mainstream-other wouldn't speak about. This all soon led to both of us dropping out of school because we thought we knew what the system was up to. When I dropped out of school, this was O.K. by my parents as long as I would go back home and get a job. while job-hunting I became interested in how some people in the hip-hop culture talked about or painted the third-eye, and I was intrigued by psychedelics to add on to the mystery. While researching online about the pineal gland I stumbled upon an a link to an e-book entitled "The Revelations of an Elite Family Insider". From this I delved into a variety of topics including the metaphysical, New Age philosophies, New World Order theories, Lucid Dreaming, Astral Projection, Soul-Searching, Prophecy, and I studied up on the messages of two influential characters- namely, "TheAntiTerrorist" and Little Grandmother (very helpful and kind people by the way
). I had no true interest in job seeking but had to keep up the charade whilst forming a new plan for the future. I searched far and wide in theories hoping one day the masses would revolt in hearing the deception. I had spent no more than a half a year in my parent's home, when me and my cousin had planned to move to Canada and formulate plans there. On our way there...specifically at the border we were 'randomly chosen' to be searched. We had marijuana, pipes and we were banned for a year from the country. I again left to my parents house, urged to go back to school or get a job. The next plan we both hatched was to move to Bakersfield, California where we had our own house. My cousin worked to pay rent, I was not doing much except smoking marijuana, hardly contemplating on going to school but earning money in some way. This was at about the year 2010, and at the end of Fall we were headed to Guatemala in search of a more down to Earth atmosphere. We planned on the jungles; we would be able to live freely, smoke in peace and have no so-called authority in the wilderness. Yet, of course, Karma still knew of our names. The options in Guatemala were not very broad ones, a shack on his relatives' land housed us meanwhile we were in search of mountains suitable to our needs. The jungle was inconvenient. We had a very good spiritual-brother, my cousin's Uncle, who had taught us of Sutras and Buddhist principles, and told us stories of his life, karmic or those with morals, Guatemalan history and the times of working with a Yogi he knew. We would all three smoke marijuana together, meditating, speaking of our day or life journey and helpful ideas for the mountain experience and this became almost habitual. Our mountain spot was decided upon and it was a serene place; river and vista, hammocks and herb & a makeshift tent for rainy days. We would smoke marijuana here, meditating in our own ways. but we wouldn't stay at the spot for more than 3 days, not enough supplies.
The city when not in the mountains offered me useful catalyst, I would offer to buy food sometimes, I would sit and talk with others about philosophy and sometimes help a brother in various services (these were all much later into this trip). We cared for a dog, Doobie, and though he had gotten mauled while on my watch, he survived and we joked about leather-neck Doobs.
We took care of him, and he was meant to help us in the mountains to detect any approaching danger as we had discussed with family. We climbed mountains with him, but he was not prepared for our designate mountain retreat. He was a young being afterall, not even a (human) year old when we got him.
I wasn't very focused on spiritual seeking, but then I had realized where I was, how I got here and thought of it as an only option... :-/ This was not conscious in me (at the time), maybe in the back of my mind I knew this. Consciously though, something had been bugging me, so incredibly microscopic at first but after a few months it tampered my behavior. I started to instigate a goodness in me, a service to others orientation I might have forced it upon myself from hearing the stories of Siddhartha Gautama, and how I felt unaccomplished in a way. It would grow somewhat every day, and every day we would decline noticeably in our communications. This may have been due to my cousin's principle of not using words, because he deemed them (from what I remember he said) to be unable to define things...
can't quite remember and I can't word it out either. In fact, I felt awkward to talk to him because my mind was beginning to see something I didn't think he would acknowledge. I was thinking- very aware of these thoughts- and many times it was a struggle to envision possible scenarios of my failure in one way or another. I may have just smoked to ease my feeling of unworthiness, tinged with a slight depression perhaps. And these thoughts slowly distorted me, but I always tried to think positive and would meditate on this constantly. Meditation soon stopped, for me at least, and I began to only think...even if I did meditate I wasn't always successful in silencing the mind. I only achieved a mystical experience in meditation once in the entire trip. At almost half a year I broke it to my cousin and our uncle that I would depart to California again, to help my family through philosophy (inside I felt responsible, they had split up before I left for Bakersfield). It was an emotional speech for me. My cousin would leave too, and we went our separate ways. I haven't smoked a joint of marijuana since. I miss those good times that we had 
before this all happened. Helping my family is harder than I worded it out, and I go to school now. I worry not about certain ideas I once had. Still I needed guidance and learning from the Ra Material redirected this journey. I had first read the Law of One Ra Material at an unknown date but I know that I read portions of it to our Guatemala-trio sometime in the first quarter of 2011. Since then I have been reading it, and it's resonance to me is what keeps me studying this subject, this Law of One.
This is as much as I will mention of my life for the time being, I welcome any questions. I thank those of these boards for being here, giving each other these opportunities to learn together, and if you read through all of that, I thank you again.
The journey is a great one. I salute you of bring4th, and wish peace upon this infinite travel, farewell for now.
As a child I cannot say I was feeling like a wanderer, I do not even know the exact meaning of it. Though I did grow up for some of my life as a loner, thinking that my behavior at home wouldn't be tolerated at school, and honestly thought it was embarrassing. I thought I would not be accepted by others at school, so little effort was made to express my self, and more was made on finding personal flaws I dared not let slip. Only with family members would I talk or hang out with comfortably, in particular my cousin. My brother and uncle were also fun to be with until I began doing things they did not do, and those things were influenced onto me by my cousin.
Me and him were like another set of brothers, and any opportunity I got to hang out with him I was grateful for. In fact, for some time he was like an escape route to were I could do things I wasn't free to do at home, or school or almost any other place. We smoked marijuana in our teen years secretively, & we went out doing graffiti nearly as often as we met. At one point in my teen years I ran away from home and went to the city where he stayed at to live as a bum. To paint the picture, I rebelled against authority and this included school. Unfortunately the plan to "bum it" in this city did not even make it past the first night. I was questioned by police officers and so I fabricated a fitting story then went to his home and somehow, our parents agreed to my staying there so long as I attended school. He and I didn't like police, or any government officials, presidents, etc. we enjoyed hearing Underground Hip-Hop music about things it's mainstream-other wouldn't speak about. This all soon led to both of us dropping out of school because we thought we knew what the system was up to. When I dropped out of school, this was O.K. by my parents as long as I would go back home and get a job. while job-hunting I became interested in how some people in the hip-hop culture talked about or painted the third-eye, and I was intrigued by psychedelics to add on to the mystery. While researching online about the pineal gland I stumbled upon an a link to an e-book entitled "The Revelations of an Elite Family Insider". From this I delved into a variety of topics including the metaphysical, New Age philosophies, New World Order theories, Lucid Dreaming, Astral Projection, Soul-Searching, Prophecy, and I studied up on the messages of two influential characters- namely, "TheAntiTerrorist" and Little Grandmother (very helpful and kind people by the way
). I had no true interest in job seeking but had to keep up the charade whilst forming a new plan for the future. I searched far and wide in theories hoping one day the masses would revolt in hearing the deception. I had spent no more than a half a year in my parent's home, when me and my cousin had planned to move to Canada and formulate plans there. On our way there...specifically at the border we were 'randomly chosen' to be searched. We had marijuana, pipes and we were banned for a year from the country. I again left to my parents house, urged to go back to school or get a job. The next plan we both hatched was to move to Bakersfield, California where we had our own house. My cousin worked to pay rent, I was not doing much except smoking marijuana, hardly contemplating on going to school but earning money in some way. This was at about the year 2010, and at the end of Fall we were headed to Guatemala in search of a more down to Earth atmosphere. We planned on the jungles; we would be able to live freely, smoke in peace and have no so-called authority in the wilderness. Yet, of course, Karma still knew of our names. The options in Guatemala were not very broad ones, a shack on his relatives' land housed us meanwhile we were in search of mountains suitable to our needs. The jungle was inconvenient. We had a very good spiritual-brother, my cousin's Uncle, who had taught us of Sutras and Buddhist principles, and told us stories of his life, karmic or those with morals, Guatemalan history and the times of working with a Yogi he knew. We would all three smoke marijuana together, meditating, speaking of our day or life journey and helpful ideas for the mountain experience and this became almost habitual. Our mountain spot was decided upon and it was a serene place; river and vista, hammocks and herb & a makeshift tent for rainy days. We would smoke marijuana here, meditating in our own ways. but we wouldn't stay at the spot for more than 3 days, not enough supplies.The city when not in the mountains offered me useful catalyst, I would offer to buy food sometimes, I would sit and talk with others about philosophy and sometimes help a brother in various services (these were all much later into this trip). We cared for a dog, Doobie, and though he had gotten mauled while on my watch, he survived and we joked about leather-neck Doobs.
We took care of him, and he was meant to help us in the mountains to detect any approaching danger as we had discussed with family. We climbed mountains with him, but he was not prepared for our designate mountain retreat. He was a young being afterall, not even a (human) year old when we got him.I wasn't very focused on spiritual seeking, but then I had realized where I was, how I got here and thought of it as an only option... :-/ This was not conscious in me (at the time), maybe in the back of my mind I knew this. Consciously though, something had been bugging me, so incredibly microscopic at first but after a few months it tampered my behavior. I started to instigate a goodness in me, a service to others orientation I might have forced it upon myself from hearing the stories of Siddhartha Gautama, and how I felt unaccomplished in a way. It would grow somewhat every day, and every day we would decline noticeably in our communications. This may have been due to my cousin's principle of not using words, because he deemed them (from what I remember he said) to be unable to define things...
can't quite remember and I can't word it out either. In fact, I felt awkward to talk to him because my mind was beginning to see something I didn't think he would acknowledge. I was thinking- very aware of these thoughts- and many times it was a struggle to envision possible scenarios of my failure in one way or another. I may have just smoked to ease my feeling of unworthiness, tinged with a slight depression perhaps. And these thoughts slowly distorted me, but I always tried to think positive and would meditate on this constantly. Meditation soon stopped, for me at least, and I began to only think...even if I did meditate I wasn't always successful in silencing the mind. I only achieved a mystical experience in meditation once in the entire trip. At almost half a year I broke it to my cousin and our uncle that I would depart to California again, to help my family through philosophy (inside I felt responsible, they had split up before I left for Bakersfield). It was an emotional speech for me. My cousin would leave too, and we went our separate ways. I haven't smoked a joint of marijuana since. I miss those good times that we had before this all happened. Helping my family is harder than I worded it out, and I go to school now. I worry not about certain ideas I once had. Still I needed guidance and learning from the Ra Material redirected this journey. I had first read the Law of One Ra Material at an unknown date but I know that I read portions of it to our Guatemala-trio sometime in the first quarter of 2011. Since then I have been reading it, and it's resonance to me is what keeps me studying this subject, this Law of One.This is as much as I will mention of my life for the time being, I welcome any questions. I thank those of these boards for being here, giving each other these opportunities to learn together, and if you read through all of that, I thank you again.
The journey is a great one. I salute you of bring4th, and wish peace upon this infinite travel, farewell for now.
![[+]](https://www.bring4th.org/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png)
