The feeling of malevolence that won't leave.

[Phoenix]

Just that really. I suppose this is the standard feeling of trauma, grief and dissociation. But there are a lot of areas in life where I look at them and I get a feeling of malevolence. Absolute, deep, abiding malevolence.


I also got this impossibly strongly when I had a schizophrenic break one time. A feeling like my soul was being winked out of existence.


It links with the feeling we sometimes get when looking at highly conspiratorial areas if anyone can connect with that. Also just a general feeling of dealing with people that gossip a lot. Where you can't see any of the bad energy but you know it is there.


I can sleep better now but for the past few months I have not been able to sleep in the dark.


I find solitude hugely helpful in relation to this feeling.

[Sacred Fool]

10.14 Questioner: For general development [of the] reader of this book, could you state some of the practices or exercises to perform to produce an acceleration toward the Law of One?
Ra: I am Ra.

Exercise One. This is the most nearly centered and usable within your illusion complex. The moment contains love. That is the lesson/goal of this illusion or density. The exercise is to consciously seek that love in awareness and understanding distortions. The first attempt is the cornerstone. Upon this choosing rests the remainder of the life-experience of an entity. The second seeking of love within the moment begins the addition. The third seeking powers the second, the fourth powering or doubling the third. As with the previous type of empowerment, there will be some loss of power due to flaws within the seeking in the distortion of insincerity. However, the conscious statement of self to self of the desire to seek love is so central an act of will that, as before, the loss of power due to this friction is inconsequential.

[...]


   

Of course, the moment may contain a whole lot of things, love, malevolence, indifference, etc.  The question is this, to which of these would you attune yourself, assuming you wish to actively participate in your own experience of being?  The discipline, then, is to find these things, not without, obviously, but within.  And when you find them, to choose your identity, to choose what you would represent or what you have flow through you.  This, in fact, could be regarded as an act of love.

Know thyself.

[tadeus]

Just that really. I suppose this is the standard feeling of trauma, grief and dissociation. But there are a lot of areas in life where I look at them and I get a feeling of malevolence. Absolute, deep, abiding malevolence.


I also got this impossibly strongly when I had a schizophrenic break one time. A feeling like my soul was being winked out of existence.


It links with the feeling we sometimes get when looking at highly conspiratorial areas if anyone can connect with that. Also just a general feeling of dealing with people that gossip a lot. Where you can't see any of the bad energy but you know it is there.


I can sleep better now but for the past few months I have not been able to sleep in the dark.


I find solitude hugely helpful in relation to this feeling.

You are just suffering the effects of living on a more and more satanic planet.

The stage play goes further and further from diversion to violent oppression, wrapped in a New World Order that supposedly only wants to protect the people and lead them into a better world.

Because most of the surrounding people don't want to see and accept this (cognitive dissonance), solitude is the only thing to escape from this scenery.

It helps to concentrate on the second density and communicate with people that stay in the reality beyond the matrix/fiction.