Our Wedding

[Steppingfeet]

I tend to be a fairly private person, at least in my public role for L/L Research. Whether in podcasts or the blogworthy, I don’t speak too much about my personal life. I am an open book with those I know or at least make some kind of personal connection with, but this is the internet—eyes from around the world look at L/L Research. But that notwithstanding, Trish and I thought we’d share this with you.

This is not to project the facebook image of the perfectly happy couple. Trish and I have been through hell together, either with Trisha's longstanding medical challenges, or by mutually hurting one another significantly (never physically). We’ve moved through at least three major episodes of crisis and transformation. And through grit and grace, we have reached an equilibrium in the open heart as we come up on our tenth year. There is occasional light turbulence nowadays, but we have learned how to communicate to one another, how to listen to and meet each other’s needs, how to show up for one another, and how to not be idiots, or less so at least.

Trish and I wrote and designed the whole ceremony, rituals and music included. We reflected on how you to go a wedding and you either see only the backs or the profiles of the bride and groom nearly the whole time. Yet there you are! You may have traveled far, you may have set aside other important plans. You come to lend your being in witness to this sacred moment. This should be acknowledged! So, wanting to address our loved ones, we began the ceremony by turning around and literally talking to everyone gathered. Thanking them, explaining something about ourselves, sharing our intentions for the marriage, and inviting them into this holy and awesome, and wholly awesome, moment with us.

One of our mutual best friends officiated it. His name is Ken Wendt. His certification: a “Dudeist priest” in the Church of Latter Day Dude. : ) No but seriously, it is an ordination provided by a silly organization that sprung from the movie the Big Lebowski. Not only did Ken officiate it, but he filmed the whole damn thing. And then made this video for us! I love that guy so much. You might meet him at at Homeoming sometime.

Carla spoke at the ceremony itself before our rituals began, she in her purple jacket and purple hair. I can't remember now why she dyed her hair. She did that a few times, such a punk rebel she was. Carla and Jim didn't make this video tho.

Steve got the role of best other-self but it could have just as well gone to one of my other best friends, Jessica (who was on the groom’s side just as I was subsequently on the bride’s side in her wedding). As her maid of honor, Trish had a lifelong friend back from her school days, and she killed it giving a speech at the reception.

The day was one of the best of our lives. Truly our only regret was that it couldn’t have been three days longer. Few things are better than having so many of the people we love under one tent in mutual care and celebration when all is innocent and well.

Trisha Bean, you are my best of all friends, my traveling companion co-adventurer belly-laughing netflix-watching-partner. I love you so much!

[David_1]

You are held in the gentle arms of the Creator who loves you.
May your lives together express that.
Thank you for sharing.

[Steppingfeet]

David_1, thank you for those sweet words.

Addendum to the OP: I forgot to say that for years I had thought that Carla would do the honor of serving as the officiant if I were to ever meet someone. But by this point she had been mostly bound to a hospital bed for three years due to the open wound from the second spinal fusion surgery. So while she could not marry us, she nevertheless ensured that that she was there to speak, no matter the pain in her body. Unbeknownst to us at the time, the great finish line was less than six months away.

Thank you Carla.