Writing a book

[Raz]

So I have come to a point in my life where I have the opportunity to write a book. It is about a character that is inspired by my life experience but I´m going to try and distill it in to a griping tale of love, play, growth and OBEs. I´m hoping to post parts of the book here and perhaps get some feed back if you are moved to do so. My native language is Swedish but I feel more creative with English so any pointers in the correct use of language would be much appreciated.

*edit: removed text to be revised*

[AnthroHeart]

Drawn to each other like moths too a flame
should be
Drawn to each other like moths to a flame

[Raz]

*edit* removed text to be revised