Dear Agony Aunt.... from a broke Wanderer

[Wai]

Dear Agony Aunt,

I was told that to ascend, I must work on myself.

This I did. I gave up three-quarters of my business, turned down consulting assignments, and talked to people about ascension, service-to-others, how one creates one’s own destiny, etc. I was also involved in two charity projects. I believed by doing all these, I would be on the right path to ascension.

In early 2012, I was broke. I had hardly enough money to feed my family and pay the mortgage. To make ends meet, I borrowed money from a friend.

When I did not ascend, I was told that I did not work on myself enough to ascend.

My question is how much is enough?

In Jan 2013, I was totally lost and even thought of applying for bankruptcy.

In March 2013, I went back to work, rebuilt my business, and stopped my involvement in charity projects. By October 2013, I made enough to pay back the money my friend loaned me.

Aunt, I need your advice.

Should I go back and do what I thought was the correct path – helping and teaching others (service-to-others), or should I just continue what I am doing now – helping myself more than others (service-to-self)?

The former has led me to near bankruptcy and I can tell you that it is no fun being poor. If I go with the latter, it’s unlikely that I will meet the 51% STO mark for graduation.

Love,

Broke Wanderer

[Melissa]

It doesn't really matter what you do, as long as you care about how you feel. If you love and accept yourself, just as you are, you can't help but be of service to others. Be it by inspired action or just being present and shining your light. I think you've made some wise decisions though

[Rake]

You are on your 'correct' path regardless. You are in service simply by BEING here. Simply be the most loving and kind person you can. You might be broke as am I and I'm sure many others at this time. Have faith you are experiencing everything that you must to learn lessons that best suit your own growth.

Edit:

It seems your also a bit 'hung' up on graduating, Melissa's advice is more than apt.

[Patrick]

My dear fellow. You cannot help the Creator by helping others at the expense of your self. The simple reason being that you too are the Creator. I suggest you find ways of helping others that are not detrimental to you. So that you are happy while others are happy too. This way the whole of the Creator is happy.

---

And regarding ascension, I believe you already are ascended and you came back to help. So just live out your incarnation being happy and so being an example to others.

[Matt1]

It sounds like you have developed compassion but need to balance it with wisdom, or practicing love with boundaries(at least while in physical form )

Perhaps you don't need to try so hard to be service to others and need to take sometime to take care of your self, i don't see this as service to self rather the development of wisdom in the self which will ultimately lead to being of greater service to others and the creator.

[AnthroHeart]

Thank you guys for telling that we are still serving others when we take care of ourselves. I sometimes wondered if I was truly STO.

[Plenum]

Should I go back and do what I thought was the correct path – helping and teaching others (service-to-others), or should I just continue what I am doing now – helping myself more than others (service-to-self)?

The former has led me to near bankruptcy and I can tell you that it is no fun being poor. If I go with the latter, it’s unlikely that I will meet the 51% STO mark for graduation.

Hi Wai,

I think service has different meanings for different people. I guess on one level, the notion of service can be quite literal - in that there is some real-life interaction where one is of assistance to the other self. Taking the time to answer your Agony Aunt question, for example, could be considered an 'act of service' if done with the intention to assist and be of help.

I think our culture and society has left has with role models or examples of what 'service' is about. Some of these are quite extreme, and not really available to the average person.

for eg, we have stories of the buddha relinquishing everything except a begging bowl, and being at the mercy of what others would feed him. And we have stories of Jesus saying - sell all your possessions, give that money to the poor, and follow the 'way'.

however, in practical terms, I don't think anyone really wants to have no money and end up living and begging on the streets. That's a fairly precarious existence, and really limits any possible expression of self to quite narrow parameters.

and likewise, I think its possible to have a fulltime job or business, and still not see it as being entirely self-serving; again, its the parameters of our society, and earning an income is really a responsible act for an adult; to be able to pay one's own way, and not rely on parents or friends to supply that income. Plus, whatever job or business one has, it provides an implicit service for someone else; and even though you might be working for a Fortune 500 company, they are still selling goods/services that others are willingly paying for; so ultimately, if there is a money transaction, there is a service rendered.

I think one can get caught up in the idea of 'good deeds' being the ultimate sign of service.

if the positive intention is there, the opportunities to be of service will reveal themself.

I can give you an example from my own life, from these very forums in fact. About 7-8 months ago, or whenever it was, I had a chat with one of the Admins in the chatroom. They asked me if I would be willing to become the mod (moderator) of the chatroom. It came out of the blue, but I was glad to fulfill that role. It seemed like a cool position, and I liked hanging out there, and hearing about people's experiences and life stories. So an opporunity for service just appeared.

And then, about a month ago, another request came out of the blue, this time asking if I'd like to become a mod on the forums. Again, it was not an opportunity that I was looking for, and yet there it arrived. But most definitely a way to be of service, and to use my time and small understandings in service of an organisation that has some great ideals in my view.

and I think it's really great that you've managed to involve yourself with some charitable organisations in a deep way.

but I think, in the end, one has to be able to live a life where self-sufficiency is a given (and taking care of one's family, one's bills, and one's mortgage), before you can really be of true service to others. Otherwise, there will always be worries on the mind, and doubts about one's next meal etc.

I also know that in asian societies (and I know you are from SE Asia), that money is seen as a sign of 'personal success'; even more so than it is in the West; and that having money (and lots of it) is usually the result of determined efforts to acquire it; and is usually the quality of self-service.

but you seem to have a lot of expertise; enough to offer a business centered around consulting. And that can be a service in itself; even though it might be helping other rich people to get richer

Plenum

[Unbound]

Dear Agony Aunt,

I was told that to ascend, I must work on myself.

This I did. I gave up three-quarters of my business, turned down consulting assignments, and talked to people about ascension, service-to-others, how one creates one’s own destiny, etc. I was also involved in two charity projects. I believed by doing all these, I would be on the right path to ascension.

In early 2012, I was broke. I had hardly enough money to feed my family and pay the mortgage. To make ends meet, I borrowed money from a friend.

When I did not ascend, I was told that I did not work on myself enough to ascend.

My question is how much is enough?

In Jan 2013, I was totally lost and even thought of applying for bankruptcy.

In March 2013, I went back to work, rebuilt my business, and stopped my involvement in charity projects. By October 2013, I made enough to pay back the money my friend loaned me.

Aunt, I need your advice.

Should I go back and do what I thought was the correct path – helping and teaching others (service-to-others), or should I just continue what I am doing now – helping myself more than others (service-to-self)?

The former has led me to near bankruptcy and I can tell you that it is no fun being poor. If I go with the latter, it’s unlikely that I will meet the 51% STO mark for graduation.

Love,

Broke Wanderer

Why not use your business knowledge to be of service to others? Making money is not a self serving act really because money is always then spent. Also, it is only ever used in interaction with other self. It is the spending that is the polarization. You do not have to starve yourself or be poor to be of service to others and in fact when you are abundant in resources you have more with which to power your endeavours in service. The choice is yours what you use your power for and the way it manifests may not be what is expected by others. You can use all that you possess for good without the need to cut yourself in half, trust in your heart and mind and the spirit that permeates your soul.

[Jade]

For what it's worth, I believe that working to feed your family is an STO endeavor, even if you feel as if it's for yourself. I'm sure if you had no family to support you'd enjoy being a pauper and serving others completely selflessly, but as it is, you are still making decisions to take care of others.

And as a spin off to plenum's post, I think instead of looking for ways to be of service, to ask for ways to be presented to you. When I do my morning centering I ask for any opportunities where I might be of service to come to me. And they do, even if they are just small little things, like PMing with someone on facebook and finding out they are currently in the middle of their dialysis treatment, or meeting a child at the grocery store and making them smile and laugh with goofy faces. It's not always about dedicating the resources ahead of time - as in, x amount of hours or dollars to a charitable cause. It's about finding ways to serve that already fit in with your vibration - and they will come.

Also, I think we here spend a lot of effort worrying about "harvest" and "polarizing", when I doubt there are many regular posters who wouldn't qualify for the 51%. I think for most, reading the LOO and resonating with the desire to serve others is just about enough to put someone over the 51%, and after that it just becomes work in refining our consciousness to allow more of those opportunities to serve to present themselves to us.

[AnthroHeart]

Also, I think we here spend a lot of effort worrying about "harvest" and "polarizing", when I doubt there are many regular posters who wouldn't qualify for the 51%. I think for most, reading the LOO and resonating with the desire to serve others is just about enough to put someone over the 51%, and after that it just becomes work in refining our consciousness to allow more of those opportunities to serve to present themselves to us.

Thank you Jade for this post. This resonates strongly with me.

[sdrawkcab]

You need to learn wisdom. The decisions you've made will help you learn this through your suffering.

[anagogy]

Wai,

Consider the idea of a cell in the human body.

Do you think that by selfishly acquiring and attending to its own survival that the whole of the body complex is worse for that cell nourishing its own existence? I'm telling you, the whole is better for it. By it thriving, it is HELPING and serving the whole. Do you understand?

When that cell gets what it needs, it is helpful to the whole. It naturally seeking joy results in the whole receiving more joy or well being. Cancer, on the other hand, which can result from the disharmony, or separation we call anger results in the whole being injured. So seek that which you need to seek to feel good, and the good will radiate naturally to the whole that surrounds you. As you said, being broke is no fun. Seek abundance in all areas of your life, and it will radiate outwards as blessings to those that surround you.

The universe is a lot like that. If you aren't selfish enough to align with your own well being, you have nothing to offer anyone anyway.

"Ra: [...] It is possible for what you term white magic to be worked for the purpose of altering only the self or the place of working. This is done in the knowledge that to aid the self in polarization towards love and light is to aid the planetary vibration."

STO loves self, just as much as it loves others. You are an "other" too. It doesn't mean that you only care about others to the exclusion of self. Self is sacred, and is part of the Whole just as much as anything else is.

That is why it is the path of balance, or unity, rather than the path of separation.

When the energy is stuck at survival, it can't move up to the higher chakras which disperse or give energy rather than collect it. So balance that first, and your desire to serve will be naturally realized.

[Wai]

You need to learn wisdom. The decisions you've made will help you learn this through your suffering.

I find many of my problems are caused by my loving too much without wisdom, and my being too wise (too smart?) without love and compassion.

[Fang]

Wisdom is built from experience, if you want to avoid being in your current situation again, learn from what you are experiencing currently.

For what it's worth (don't base an important life decision on what I, a stranger on the internet say please lol) for you to be capable of serving others in a significant fashion you must have something to give, to offer. if you give everything away with no regards for yourself you will find yourself unable to help yourself or others. So yeah, serve others or whatever but provide for yourself and your family first, if you have any left over that would do you no harm parting from maybe give that away, but build yourself up first so you are in a position to do that consistently.

I wouldn't worry about the harvest grade mate, entities are harvested when they have learned the necessary lessons and achieved balance from that. In the (from your point of view) worst case scenario that you don't make the 51% (which I personally doubt, for what it's worth I've enjoyed your input and "touch", it seemed to always come from a place of compassion) it would only mean that it would more beneficial for you to progress later.

[reeay]

Wai, are you 'signed up' to go on a path of giving up your worldly possessions and other comforts to serve others?

[Guardian]

You must do what brings you joy in life. The outcome is irrelevant. It's the process that matters. And the only,process that matters is one that brings you joy.

[Namaste]

You can be of service to others just as easily in business as you can in charity.

Far too many people hit the spiritual path then rebel against themselves. It (usually) hurts more than it helps. Ascension is nothing more than lightening your vibration. The way you do that is through your heart.

It doesn't matter what you do. Whatever you do, do it with love.

---

Wai - do read this post (just the first post).

http://bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=3492

I believe that David Wilcock and countless others (including Ra followers) had their wires crossed regarding 2012, the harvest, and ascension.

While talk of Earth going from 3D to 4D, dual activated bodies, the quantum jump between 3D and 4D and other elements can be argued from different perspectives (due to slight ambiguousness from Ra), one's OWN ascension path was the opposite; clearly defined.

I find many of my problems are caused by my loving too much without wisdom, and my being too wise (too smart?) without love and compassion.

Ra stated that 3D is not the density of understanding. It's the density of choice.

While we can accrue wisdom through experience, and offer love, it's still through a veil of forgetfulness. We're not meant to know everything, and that's really important. Our faith then becomes incredibly important. I can't recall the amount of times Ra (and Q'uo) state the importance of faith, but it's a lot :¬)

Many people search for higher wisdom (spiritual materialism - "I want") while forgetting that their heart ("I give") is more important.

When the seeker seeks the true Self (the Creator), and not 'abilities', they transform into cyclones of positive energy. They allow the Creator to shine though with less and less distortion.

[xise]

Many people search for higher wisdom (spiritual materialism - "I want") while forgetting that their heart ("I give") is more important.

I agree with pretty much everything what you say, but I just wanted to chime in that in my personal journey, respecting yourself and your own true, deep desires, your "wants" such as happiness, peace, or whatever it may be, was essential to unlocking my lower rays.

Don't feel guilty to have wants. Trust that your deep, non-impulse, non-egoic desires are meant to be explored, not overcome - as referenced by Ra.

I think many people get confused with surface level desire and surface level wants that come from the highly distorted ego, and then throw the baby out with the bathwater with respect to desire. Your true deep desires/wants are important, they are an aspect of your free will and of yourself, and I think they are meant to be explored.

When I explore my deepest wants, I find that a big part of that is to truly give to others - the exploration revealed that the true desires and wants of my red, orange, and yellow were in tune with my green. Thus, the energy you can generate into the heart when you accept all of your desires and wants which lead to service to others is immense. Of course, you have to have trust and self-acceptance that if you go deep and find that deep down, you are a service-to-self individual, that's ok too. No judgment. Don't be afraid of discovering who you are.

But in reference to the bigger picture your comment touches upon: I think people do tend to fall into the trap of ignoring their heart, but also ignoring their own deepest wishes and desires. I think it's important to go deep into all of it, and not just rely on surface level personality shell desire and wants.

Your mileage may vary!

Edit: To put things another way, are other selves deep desires and wants factored in how you serve them? If you could help an other self achieve a deep desire or want of theirs would that not be service to others? Recall too that you are an other self to be served. Respect and explore your own wants and desires - that too is part of the path.

[Wai]

Wai, are you 'signed up' to go on a path of giving up your worldly possessions and other comforts to serve others?

Rie, I am not sure what you mean am I "signed up".

Do you mean whether I "signed up" or committed to an agreement (or something) to give up my worldly possessions to serve others?

[Namaste]

I agree xise, one must always listen deeply.

It's also important to note that we desire things that match us at that point in time, and as you says, not to judge the self. We're all here to learn, and we'll attract necessary catalyst.

Desiring abilities is not necessarily STS either, many desire skills in order to serve. I was being specific to those who want them in which to showcase as trophies, as that was something I wanted to do (by seeing auras) early in my seeking journey :¬)

[AnthroHeart]

I wouldn't want to showcase fulfillment of my desire as a trophy. I'd pretty much keep it to myself.