03-15-2009, 02:44 PM
Oh, what the heck.
Reading the Ra Material awakened at least a hundred memories -- so much rang true in the deepest sense of knowing.
And later, in reading "The Wanderer's Handbook," I finally found out that there were others like me.
I'm going to try to do this as brief as possible.
As a child, I was drawn to a local church. My family was in no way religious, but I loved to walk down to this local Episcopal church when it open and empty and just sit there taking in the atmosphere. It felt magical, beautiful, incredible. It was like a home I'd never lived in.
I also used to spend a great deal of time alone in the evenings, lying on the huge boulders in our yard, looking up at the stars. Many times I told no one in particular, "I want to go home." I meant it, too, but I have no idea where that home was.
Later years were spent being teased by other children because I was "different." I was quiet, more mature, and unwilling to hurt others, even in retaliation. I got used to being an outsider. The IQ tests done by the school didn't help matters any when it was discovered I had a higher score than most. I probably would have done better in a gifted class of some sort, but for some reason, that never happened.
Once an adult, having been fairly battered by verbal abuse, I married early to get out on my own. This first marriage failed, as did the next one, both being heavily dysfunctional on both sides. But I learned, and at some point finally refused to surround myself with people intent on harming me, either physically or emotionally. I took some time to heal myself and to become more self-sufficient, and it was during this time that I met my present husband of 13 years -- who is also my best friend.
Ever since those days that I spent as a child in that empty church, just sitting there in the pews and taking in the beauty as if it were a lifeline to some long-forgotten ancient Temple, I've had an overwhelming urge to learn, to evolve, and to help others do the same. I've studied with quite a few teachers and spiritual masters, and have learned that there is so much more to this life than we can remember. I hang on with white knuckles to the words "All will be revealed."
There is probably more, but you get the idea.
Reading the Ra Material awakened at least a hundred memories -- so much rang true in the deepest sense of knowing.
And later, in reading "The Wanderer's Handbook," I finally found out that there were others like me.
I'm going to try to do this as brief as possible.
As a child, I was drawn to a local church. My family was in no way religious, but I loved to walk down to this local Episcopal church when it open and empty and just sit there taking in the atmosphere. It felt magical, beautiful, incredible. It was like a home I'd never lived in.
I also used to spend a great deal of time alone in the evenings, lying on the huge boulders in our yard, looking up at the stars. Many times I told no one in particular, "I want to go home." I meant it, too, but I have no idea where that home was.
Later years were spent being teased by other children because I was "different." I was quiet, more mature, and unwilling to hurt others, even in retaliation. I got used to being an outsider. The IQ tests done by the school didn't help matters any when it was discovered I had a higher score than most. I probably would have done better in a gifted class of some sort, but for some reason, that never happened.
Once an adult, having been fairly battered by verbal abuse, I married early to get out on my own. This first marriage failed, as did the next one, both being heavily dysfunctional on both sides. But I learned, and at some point finally refused to surround myself with people intent on harming me, either physically or emotionally. I took some time to heal myself and to become more self-sufficient, and it was during this time that I met my present husband of 13 years -- who is also my best friend.
Ever since those days that I spent as a child in that empty church, just sitting there in the pews and taking in the beauty as if it were a lifeline to some long-forgotten ancient Temple, I've had an overwhelming urge to learn, to evolve, and to help others do the same. I've studied with quite a few teachers and spiritual masters, and have learned that there is so much more to this life than we can remember. I hang on with white knuckles to the words "All will be revealed."
There is probably more, but you get the idea.
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