Fear of Death

[Parsons]

It has taken me a long time to process, but at some point I realized fear of death is/was the core of my panic/anxiety attacks. The first thing that might come to your mind is "how can you feel like that when you know what death is?"; "You know what happens from the Ra Material, other channeled material, and your intuition." It seems counter-intuitive, but I did not fear death and I did not have panic attacks when I was depressed and didn't really want to live. I only developed the panic attacks because I decided I wanted to live. I really, really want to live.

I know that I will die some day, as we all do. I know that I am simply one of the multiple simultaneous incarnations / perspectives I am choosing to experience right now. I know that when this experience ends, I will simply wake up into a 'more real' experience, despite how lucid this experience currently feels.

At the moment, I don't really remember any of my 'past' or 'future' lives. I don't even really get vague impressions. But one thing I remember for sure is the sensation of dying. The sensation is extremely familiar to me; I have died many times. I know that the experience of death is not unpleasant. The fear and anticipation of death is much worse than the actual sensation.

It doesn't bother me anymore to passively consider death. In that moment, it seems like I am deeply contemplating my death; but in reality I am viewing myself in the 3rd person as the observer. There is a world of difference between vicariously and directly experiencing death. When I really truly focus on the idea of my death, it terrifies me.

I've known all this for quite some time now. The new thing I just realized (which was catalyzed by a movie that caused me to truly face my own mortality), is my fear of death evaporates as soon as I focus myself in the now. I know it's a cliché in this community and maybe I'm preaching the choir; but if you are able to successfully focus yourself in the Now Moment with the full knowledge that time is an illusion and there truly is only Now, you will not fear death.

Death is in the future. The future (and the past) are malleable from the present because that is the only thing that truly exists. I think we don't know when we will die because it would ruin the whole thing and that's all we could focus on.

[Verum Occultum]

Great post. When you are the observer of all things, you realize you can not be the things you observe. As all things, fear of death is observed by presence. Then finally even death is observed. Then you can not any longer fear death because you know you are not 'it'. What the fear of death is, is the sense of identity trying to hide from its own annihilation. "Can the seer be seen?"

[Aion]

Does that mean birth is in the past? Think about this. Where does past come from and future go?

[Parsons]

I'm not 100% certain what you're getting at. If the only thing that exists is the present, wouldn't the past (and my birth) and the future (and my death) simply be potential?

[Verum Occultum]

I'm not 100% certain what you're getting at. If the only thing that exists is the present, wouldn't the past (and my birth) and the future (and my death) simply be potential?

That arises the eternal question; does it matter how we ended up here?

[Minyatur]

Hello, I'm here too and my sense of identity also does try to hide from annihilation.

[Night Owl]

If it matters to one how he ended up somewhere, that one wouldn't be able to fully focus on the present moment.

[Night Owl]

If the final steps of 6D merging to 7D are about losing identity to become every things does it mean that the final incarnations of wanderers are about processing this fear of annihilation?

[APeacefulWarrior]

If the final steps of 6D merging to 7D are about losing identity to become every things does it mean that the final incarnations of wanderers are about processing this fear of annihilation?

This would be consistent with my own notions/deductions about my purpose in incarnating, and some of the experiments I've been conducting in my own mental/spiritual learning. I'm relatively certain one of my purposes down here is specifically exploring questions of identity and forms of perception to help my higher self(s) work slowly towards their 7D goal.

Although I don't think of myself as being in "final incarnations" except perhaps relatively speaking. As I recall, Ra said it can take a hella long time by our standards for a 6D to successfully make that ascension. Like billions of years. So I don't have any particular expectation of fully working it out this life, or the next, or the one after. But it's nice to think I have a goal I/we are working towards.

[Minyatur]

Wanders to practice killing the identity of self, instead gets addicted to it and skips 6D harvest.

End line result : all is well.

[Verum Occultum]

End line result : all is well.

No mitsakes here   just dirty boots and some more laundry  

[rva_jeremy]

The limited, finite self with whom we identify in 3rd density waking life would be useless if it did not have a beginning and end, I'm increasingly convinced.  This is the nature of what it means to be "manifest": as Tyman describes it in A Fool's Phenomenology, it's a experience of "emplacement" within a matrix of otherness, unbalanced thoughts, unrequited emotions, etc.  Will and faith are competencies that connect the otherwise unbridgeable states of "manifest" and "unmanifest" to realize a complete self, however lacking in reassurance that may strike one.

It is a deep matter of faith to posit an identity, a being-ness beyond that in the realm of the "unmanifest".  I'm not sure you can identify with that greater self and have much of a consensus reality, but perhaps this is a core competency of the "lower self": a pinprick focus of attentional light with which to view the full breadth and depth of the self, so that we can reach out to the greater self with nothing but faith.  It's almost like isolating your faith muscle in the gym of creation.

So the pain and fear you feel is completely warranted from the point of view of the "you" that makes sense, the "you" that is posting at B4, the "you" that is the last coordinate in your reality before you drift off to sleep.  You are drawn to another experience in which that "you" cannot persist, so the feeling of the "you" being drawn implies the total incompleteness of the "you" witnessing the feeling.  The abyss that Nietzsche spoke of was, IMHO, this gnawing angst with respect to the waking self's obvious limits, that you are something else that is mysterious, dark, terrifying, etc.  The more light you cast on it, the more the darkness is revealed, to paraphrase McKenna. (BTW the way Tyman ties this with the success and failure of the Enlightenment, both metaphorically and literally, is one of the genius parts of his book. This need not be viewed solely as a personal thing: it's also a cultural obstacle that colors our personal experience and vice versa.)

I'm not sure there can be complete peace with death; there is only surrender to the reality of it, accepting the terror and balancing it.  I don't think I'll ever stop fearing death, but I can come to allow the fear its place, believing that the self who fears needs to be afraid in order to be useful in this material experience, it's a consequence of incarnation that is tightly coupled to having a bodily environment.  When it inevitably dies, I do inevitably die, but I'm also born into a different "emplacement" of self, and that's the mystery that the lower self must accept that it can never penetrate without ceasing to be a lower self.  All it can do is recognize with foreboding its own impermanence and smallness.

[Night Owl]

We've got laundry for a couple more harvest it seems

[Zach]

Wanders to practice killing the identity of self, instead gets addicted to it and skips 6D harvest.

End line result : all is well.

I would think the ascension wouldn't take place until all portions of Ra (or whatever other entity) have coalesced, so to speak. I say this because in moving out of this octave their (total) beingness will leave time, leaving no fragments or portions behind.