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STS/STO - Biu_Tze - 03-01-2010
I have a real desire to control and master myself, which appears to be labeled as STS, I like the feelings of power it can bring, I like the feeling of power that the dark side of spirituality has to offer. I feel like a lion in the midst of prey. I feel like something alien plundering an unknown world. Through the works of carlos castaneda was I able to have but brief glimpses of this world. Maybe I misinterpreted the information given, I now have a desire to go back and re-read it from my new perspectives. The issue I have is that, I genuinely love my fellow man, and wish to do no harm to him, I don't want to control anybody else, just myself, and only as an exercise, so that I may experience these feelings. On the other hand, I want to help my fellow man, and share love with them, let them know that they are ok, I don't want to see them in fear and confusion, even tho it may be what is best for them at this time, perhaps that is just another desire for control, maybe I do want to make them happy, but I want it to start from them, I want them to fix themselves, even tho it would give me great happiness to be involved in doing as such. I don't want to affect someones free will, to the point where I don't even really want to communicate with anybody because of how easy it is for me to lead folks astray, not that anybody really listens to any of the weird a** s*** I may have to offer. I feel split between paths, I want to create another path!
one where I may learn about the control of myself, and experience the treasures behind it, and one where I may also learn to accept myself, and everything within me, to help people with their own path to the best of my ability, and share lots of love along the way. I feel like my free will is being taken away by being presented with only the choice to be sto or sts, I want out of this bloody third density, but I want out of it without being forced into a positive or negative only path. I want to experience both! I want to be free to learn about the mastery of the self, and the acceptance of all. the powerful feelings I associate with that predator mind, where truth is known, where I am untouchable in my might (so it seems) hold a great pull on me. But I refuse to allow myself to hurt anyone to the best of my ability, When people do my wrong, I don't want to give them consequences, although, I do want to hurt and weaken non human evil for some reason. And I suppose if someone were to hurt someone other than me that I don't even know, especially if they are male and the person in question is female, The rage inside me would want there death to come about. I am concerned such a time will arise, I hope I can hold myself back should such an occasion should occur.
I guess I will stop this now, I'm tempted to copy and paste this into my other thread, but this particular subject is interesting to me.
Should a third possibility exist? where one can be both sts and sto yet not bound to the third density? Can it even exist in your opinions?
Do you think there is any way in which it could exist even?
Any thoughts on what I Said? any words come to mind you want to share?
Feel free to express yourselves freely! Much love to you all
RE: STS/STO - Brittany - 03-01-2010
Hmmm....I think I know where you are coming from here. I have thought this before, too. Wouldn't you get more knowledge- a more complete lesson, if you could travel both paths? There have been days I was sure I was going to turn out STS because of the appeal the darkness has for me. I already have natural abilities that would be of much more use on the STS path. I've had a small taste of the power that path offers and have found it pleasurable. Am I selling myself short by being STO? But then I tried to just break it all down from a completely neutral perspective. I tried to look at my feelings objectively instead of being involved in the emotion, working them like an equation, trying to see which side the resulting answer would end up on. By doing this I realized that, in spite of all the dark things in my head, my primary objective was still to help my fellow man. The call to darkness was great, but in the end I knew that my compassion was at the lead of my mixed-up conglomeration of emotions. I knew where, in spite of all the storms, I ultimately stood, and then I realized that that's all that matters.
To be STO doesn't mean you have to be a bucket of sunshine and rainbows all the time. Being STO means that you have decided you want to surrender to the realization that we all are one- that you see your fellow men as Other Selves instead of things that are tools to help you get what you want. This also includes accepting all of our negative brothers and sisters and realizing that their path is just as valid as ours, and that the two actually form a harmonious relationship. In order to accept these Other Selves, we need to find the negativity in our own hearts and accept it as well. Just because you choose STO doesn't mean you won't have temptations, that you won't have your own expressions of the darkness in everyone. It doesn't mean wiping out that part of your personality. In my opinion it simply means knowing what matters most to you and being willing to work on that objective as much as you can.
I also see nothing wrong with self discipline. In my opinion it is an essential tool for graduating on either path. Being able to focus, to hone your desires and to still your mind enough to commune with the One...these cannot be achieved by a mind that is caught up in worldly concerns and trivialities. Over and over Ra stresses the importance of meditation. Mediation in itself is a form of self-discipline. I believe the discipline of the self that is useful on the STS path refers to the closing off the parts of the self that would seem to interfere with the ability to distance oneself from others- shutting down the emotions that would cause one to care about their fellow man, to empathize with them, love them and ultimately realize that they are above no one, but all are equal. Basically, to be STS, you have to not only completely deny your connection with others, but also deny a deep part of yourself. You must bring all aspects of the soul under the razor-sharp control of the will, carefully crafting your emotions to serve your purpose instead of being tools of experiencing universal connections. Is this the kind of self discipline you were referring to?
Basically, I would advise you to take some time to find that one thought, that one desire or emotion or state of being amongst all the perfectly natural, likely contradictory things swirling around within you, that means the most, that you would die for, that expresses the deepest part of your heart. When you find this thought, does it revolve around service to others or service to self? To put it more plainly, does it revolve around love or fear? In my opinion, this defines the path that you ultimately will take. It doesn't matter that you are still bearing the burden of human emotions and thoughts running their course, that you are tempted and confused and sometimes overwhelmed. You know where your heart is, and that is your choice. There is plenty, PLENTY of time for the rest to follow, for you to find your own niche in creation.
And also remember, you can graduate into one polarity and still switch sides, all the way up to 6th density. Creation is not a static state of being. It sways and flows, a beautiful symphony no matter what notes are hit.
Whatever path your heart leads you to, I wish you the best with love.
-Lynn
RE: STS/STO - haqiqu - 03-01-2010
Biu_Tze, Just follow the love, act on it, live it and I suspect you will be presented with all the positive and negative experiences you could want to encounter. It's a fact of third density that where there's light there's dark and vicey versy. The choice lies in how you deal with these experiences.
At least that's my humble thoughts.
:->
RE: STS/STO - Cyclops - 03-01-2010
Here's a session I believe pertains to your feelings in this topic.
http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/issues/1996/1996_0310.aspx
And a simple quote from Q'uo
Quote:It is well to note that this is a scheme in which all of your feelings, be they seemingly positive or seemingly negative, are equally valuable and precious to the one infinite Creator. Therefore, you are loved beyond all belief by an entity who could never judge you, but only support, encourage and embrace you.
As you will gain in knowledge be it by more experience, more reading of the material L/L offers or material of your choice, by your communication of self to self contemplation. You will continually un-distort parts of your self and find one of these choices calling more and more. I had these feelings too, instead of dwelling on them I sought to find the meanings and weight that each had to me.
RE: STS/STO - Turtle - 03-02-2010
(03-01-2010, 10:08 PM)ahktu Wrote: To be STO doesn't mean you have to be a bucket of sunshine and rainbows all the time. Being STO means that you have decided you want to surrender to the realization that we all are one- that you see your fellow men as Other Selves instead of things that are tools to help you get what you want.
Well said ahktu!
Biu_Tze, self-discipline or controlling yourself does not make an entity STS..it's about the lack of love and respect for other beings that makes an entity STS. The word "service" in the descriptions of STS and STO can be misleading if we don't look to the full explanation Ra/Q'uo give about these polarities. STO beings do not have to go out and DO anything to be STO polarity (although helping others proactively is a natural trait found in STO people)...contrarily it's more about just feeling compassion in your own heart, and seeing other beings as worthy of the same compassion since you view them as your equal. This possibility of a "third path/option" sounds more to me like what you are already doing/being. You love to control yourself, and not others. This description is not one of a "new" path, but of a STO entity who simply loves to control and discipline his own emotions and thoughts.
The real difference as I see it explained by our brothers and sisters of the Confederation is...
STO = "Others are my EQUALS, worthy of love and respect."
STS = "Others are LESS THAN EQUAL, worthy only as slaves to my ambitions."
Godspeed!
RE: STS/STO - Questioner - 03-02-2010
You already have several excellent responses that provide both cake and icing. I'll see if I can throw a few colorful sprinkles on top.
(03-01-2010, 07:20 PM)Biu_Tze Wrote: I feel like a lion in the midst of prey.
Well, the biblical Daniel was famous for being in the lion's den. Maybe you feel it's time to turn the tables?
As I read the Law of One, the core choice of STS vs. STO is rather simple.
Service to Others involves choosing to include the heart chakra/green ray, which opens a sense of love for others as one's equals. This leads to a respect of free will, and a desire to help and serve others in whatever way promotes their own spiritual evolution. The STO path leads to adventures in unity with others. It leads ultimately to reunion with the mysterious ultimate essence of the One Creator.
Service to Self involves choosing to exclude the heart chakra/green ray. In the absence of this outward-flowing love, others (and one's own self) become seen as tools for manipulation and even destruction, within hierarchies based on fear, control, and power-over-others. The STS path is explored by the entity as much as possible, through all the cul de sacs that lead to the inevitable dead end. Ultimately, evolution can only continue by finally welcoming in what was excluded. On the way to that ultimate switch, the STS path leads to (millions of years worth) of adventures in separation, exclusiveness, alienation, domination and opposition. In this way the emphasis is on highlighting the contrast between the entity's individual self and the rest of Creation.
There is no way to include and also not include a key element of spiritual evolution. At the heart of the choice is whether or not to include the heart of the matter in the heart of the matter right now, or wait until much later for that integration.
If you have a meditation practice, may I offer for your consideration this question for meditation: How much of the "predator mind" is Daniel's own essence, and how much is some other predator trying to take over Daniel's mind for its own purposes?
RE: STS/STO - Biu_Tze - 03-02-2010
I know I couldn't be sts if I wanted to, the purpose of this thread was as much about me as it was to potential lurkers with similar ideas in there heads, and as an outlet for my brothers/sisters to speak their mind about something I find quite interesting. Even tho the lure of power from the "evil side" of things is oh so enticing, I can't step on a worm without deep feelings of remorse arise. I could never hurt anything with the intent to do so, unless it was to protect. Part of this may be my annoyance at having put in all that bloody effort to shut my mind up, and control emotions such as fear, which I no longer seem able to do.. great timing greys! -shakes a fist-
anyways, I have an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for all of your amazing and fine contributions, there is a lot of very good information here and I am MOST grateful.
May the ride continue to be plentiful and enjoyable for us all!
RE: STS/STO - Seeking One - 03-02-2010
Hello Biu_Tze and all commenters!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject. I made a commitment to myself to start participating more on this forum and the topic of your post has been a most interesting subject for me for quite some time... so it seems like a good place to start.
Please don't let me hijack this thread and let me know if this should be posted elsewhere. Like you, I too strongly feel that I'm on a STO path, but have a hard time trying to understand why it's so difficult for me to commit to it (at least 51% of the time I guess
I've been very curious to find out what drives an entity to continue on a STS path once they leave 3D space/time and the veil is lifted. I think Don asked those of Ra a question similar to this, but for the life of me I can't find it.
I've been looking to understand how the philosophy of a STS entity rationalizes/justifies their purpose in taking the light of others. I get that they view themselves as "a portion of the Creator" and that by loving themselves they are in fact loving all, but I guess I'm searching for details. Ya, so I guess that's what I'd like to throw out there: why do they continue on the negative path until they have no choice but to merge in Love/Wisdom (6D) to continue their evolution?
RE: STS/STO - Biu_Tze - 03-02-2010
Hey there blucky, welcome to the thread, and by no means are you hijacking it good sir!
The things you mention definitely interest me a fair amount too, If I could venture a guess or two:
They may continue upon that path because:
1, They have already gone through the path of light and wanted to get a taste of the other side of the spectrum.
2, They know that with darkness comes the increased challenges for light, and that by making things harder on the light, they are in fact giving us further chances to succeed.
3, maybe they just like what they are doing.
Who knows? anyways, thanks for posting!
Much Love!
RE: STS/STO - Turtle - 03-02-2010
(03-02-2010, 05:22 PM)Biu_Tze Wrote: Hey there blucky, welcome to the thread, and by no means are you hijacking it good sir!
The things you mention definitely interest me a fair amount too, If I could venture a guess or two:
They may continue upon that path because:
1, They have already gone through the path of light and wanted to get a taste of the other side of the spectrum.
2, They know that with darkness comes the increased challenges for light, and that by making things harder on the light, they are in fact giving us further chances to succeed.
3, maybe they just like what they are doing.
Who knows? anyways, thanks for posting!
Much Love!
I'd say number 3. lol.
Godspeed!
RE: STS/STO - Biu_Tze - 03-02-2010
-chuckles- It seems that way to me, but I can never be too sure.
Much Love!
RE: STS/STO - Seeking One - 03-02-2010
Thanks for the quick replies.
I'm going to see if I can do my fav and reply inline:
(03-02-2010, 05:22 PM)Biu_Tze Wrote: Hey there blucky, welcome to the thread, and by no means are you hijacking it good sir!
The things you mention definitely interest me a fair amount too, If I could venture a guess or two:
They may continue upon that path because:
1, They have already gone through the path of light and wanted to get a taste of the other side of the spectrum.
I can understand when looking at things from the "everything is but an experience and opportunity for the Creator to know himself", but many times those of the Confederation speak of the STS path as "the path of that which is not". Why would you try something out if you knew it was false/illusory? Same reason why we come to 3D in the first place maybe?
(03-02-2010, 05:22 PM)Biu_Tze Wrote: 2, They know that with darkness comes the increased challenges for light, and that by making things harder on the light, they are in fact giving us further chances to succeed.
This sounds contrary to what being STS is all about... they don't do things for others unless they're higher up on the totem pole and they're forced to, right? I love this subject of "contrast" that you bring up though (we can better understand what joy is once we have an appreciation of what pain feels like)
(03-02-2010, 05:22 PM)Biu_Tze Wrote: 3, maybe they just like what they are doing.
Who knows? anyways, thanks for posting!
Much Love!
But what mental aids were needed in the first place for them to ignore compassion/empathy/grace and start down this path?
Is it just a simple case of Star Wars Dark Side-ism? "Once the dark path you start down, forever will it dominate your destiny!"
RE: STS/STO - fairyfarmgirl - 03-02-2010
I have found this time on Earth to be about integration of dark and light... and in doing so a third consciousness is born... Christ Consciousness--- Oneness. That is all of my two cents and a bag of organic chips!
fairyfarmgirl
RE: STS/STO - Biu_Tze - 03-02-2010
(Moderator note: Contents of post deleted due to non-alignment with guidelines.)
RE: STS/STO - Questioner - 03-03-2010
"Hidden hand" has been discussed on this forum quite a bit. In my somewhat whimsical opinion, the hidden hand makes the moderators itch... so the discussion tends to get curtailed after a while.
RE: STS/STO - Biu_Tze - 03-03-2010
Ahh, I see, I didn't mean to tread astray from the welcome topics, forgive my ignorance
I was worried about how big the copy and paste was. I shall try to keep HH out of this from now on.
Thanks for letting me know questioner!
Much Love
RE: STS/STO - Aaron - 03-03-2010
Mmm, are they those Flat Earth veggie chips? Those are beyond tasty...
Biu, brother, are you sure this feeling of wanting to dominate the self's desires can't be eventually morphed into a yearning for being 100% true to the self? Instead of wanting to explore the dark, it's possible to simply uncover and observe it. What I mean is, if you allow more light to shine through you, you will become more selfless. As you become more selfless, you will become more aware of the potential for darkness and manipulation stored within like a sleeping wolf. With the increased selflessness, however, the desire to control that dark side of self will fade as it is realized that the longing for control is part of the illusion that comes from the shadow self. You will break the identification with that dark side of yourself. When the identification with darkness is broken, there will be a yearning to be true to the higher self, the one who encompasses the dark and shines forth only light.
Also, I live here with you in Minnesota, so if you ever need to meet with another who is aware of LOO in person, I am here for you.
RE: STS/STO - ayadew - 03-03-2010
If an STO person feels a lack in motivation it can be most meaningful to explore the parts of yourself which you would label STS. Revel in power of self, pride, indiscriminate judgment, self-righteousness, manipulation, destruction, dominance. I realized this was not for me. And thus there's only one path.
RE: STS/STO - Aaron - 03-03-2010
(03-03-2010, 11:30 AM)ayadew Wrote: If an STO person feels a lack in motivation it can be most meaningful to explore the parts of yourself which you would label STS. Revel in power of self, pride, indiscriminate judgment, self-righteousness, manipulation, destruction, dominance. I realized this was not for me. And thus there's only one path.
The pathless path!
You follow the pathless path when you adopt the same attitude as the universe. The universe is always seeking to know and discover all parts of its infinite self. When you do the same, you will come to know yourself like no-one else does. And with that comes radiant peace.
RE: STS/STO - Questioner - 03-03-2010
I'm not a moderator, Daniel, just letting you unofficially know one member's observation. Anyway, there's plenty of material from Ra about the negative path.
Aaron, the way you put things is really beautiful. Reminds me of the Tao Te Ching.
RE: STS/STO - Aaron - 03-03-2010
(03-03-2010, 12:02 PM)Questioner Wrote: I'm not a moderator, Daniel, just letting you unofficially know one member's observation. Anyway, there's plenty of material from Ra about the negative path.
Aaron, the way you put things is really beautiful. Reminds me of the Tao Te Ching.
One of my favorite books! Thank you, Questioner. My posts may not be as deep or information rich as yours, but I speak from the center when I can.
RE: STS/STO - Questioner - 03-03-2010
Thanks for the kind words. More bubbles on top don't necessarily mean more nutrition underneath all the foam. We each share in the way the comes naturally. Still waters can run deep too and might not need as many words as the babbling brook.
RE: STS/STO - Biu_Tze - 03-03-2010
I see there a lot of posts here probably with a lot of insight. Something I just realized, lmao.. it's funny how obvious this is, but I never realized it.. I'm pretty damn self destructive. Any time I took an action that hurt someone, it hurt me, sometimes others were hurt, and I felt bad for THEM, but never myself. That's why I allowed myself to be walked all over by my current gf, even tho I felt she was treating me like s***, I still cared more about her than myself. what a bloody eye opener...
wow, you live in Minnesota, twin cities by chance? I'm going to s*** myself if I know you, lol.
Speaking of the Tao Te Ching, I have been wanting to read that for ages..
haha, wow, that's beautiful, a very sweet interaction between you too, well done!
RE: STS/STO - fairyfarmgirl - 03-03-2010
(03-03-2010, 02:49 PM)Biu_Tze Wrote: I see there a lot of posts here probably with a lot of insight. Something I just realized, lmao.. it's funny how obvious this is, but I never realized it.. I'm pretty damn self destructive. Any time I took an action that hurt someone, it hurt me, sometimes others were hurt, and I felt bad for THEM, but never myself. That's why I allowed myself to be walked all over by my current gf, even tho I felt she was treating me like $hit, I still cared more about her than myself. what a bloody eye opener...
wow, you live in Minnesota, twin cities by chance? I'm going to s*** myself if I know you, lol.
Speaking of the Tao Te Ching, I have been wanting to read that for ages..
haha, wow, that's beautiful, a very sweet interaction between you too, well done!
Ahhhh--- Now you are getting somewhere! Find the positive pole of self-destruction---> Self-Realization!
fairyarmgirl
RE: STS/STO - Questioner - 03-03-2010
We have several people here who are learning that being a doormat isn't necessarily the start of wise loving help. I'm one of them! You'll get support here at growing a backbone, if that's what you'd like.
Here's a great resource: http://www.yellowbridge.com/onlinelit/daodejing.php
It shows three different translations side by side, along with the Chinese characters with pop-up definitions. The original language is very picturesque and metaphorical. With this approach you can start to get a feel for what it could mean to you.
I don't know of any other forum with as many little gems of interaction as this place.
RE: STS/STO - Aaron - 03-03-2010
(03-03-2010, 02:49 PM)Biu_Tze Wrote: I see there a lot of posts here probably with a lot of insight. Something I just realized, lmao.. it's funny how obvious this is, but I never realized it.. I'm pretty damn self destructive. Any time I took an action that hurt someone, it hurt me, sometimes others were hurt, and I felt bad for THEM, but never myself. That's why I allowed myself to be walked all over by my current gf, even tho I felt she was treating me like $hit, I still cared more about her than myself. what a bloody eye opener...
wow, you live in Minnesota, twin cities by chance? I'm going to s*** myself if I know you, lol.
Speaking of the Tao Te Ching, I have been wanting to read that for ages..
haha, wow, that's beautiful, a very sweet interaction between you too, well done!
That's right, you need love too! It's just not your own love that you're giving yourself. It comes from a higher place through you. Like fairyfarmgirl says, find the opposite. And like Ra said, find the opposite thought, the opposite action that you're capable of.
I am in the Twin Cities. Southern metro actually. We most likely don't know eachother, but what are the chances of meeting a new friend physically close by on these forums? Miracles at work indeed. haha I'll send you a PM with details.
RE: STS/STO - Biu_Tze - 03-03-2010
-feels embaressed- I thought your location wasn't anywhere near the Twin Cities, haha!
I can't wait to give that link a look questioner! I excitedly look forward to when I can.
Ever since I started watching Shaolin Kung fu movies, I felt a great love and appreciation for anything Chinese, kind of like reverse racism, I don't know what it is, I feel such a strong connection to their philosophy, there systems of martial arts, food.. you name it.. I just can't help but try a thousand times harder when I'm around someone of asian descent! It's kind of embaressing actually.. lol