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+--- Thread: My inarticulate/unfinished/underwhelming story (/showthread.php?tid=8577)
My inarticulate/unfinished/underwhelming story - Billy - 01-08-2014
Hello bring4th community, I've been stalking you all for a while now (you all look so peaceful when your asleep.....I jest), and thought it was about time I introduced myself.
Unfortunately, I'm not as eloquent and articulate as many users on this forum so I'll keep this short. I've never been good at expressing myself through words (or any other medium for that matter), so bear with me.
For as long as I can remember I have had a devastating yearning, longing, hollowness and unfulfillment inside of me. I can't quite think of any specific experiences which showcase this, except to say that, the things which most people seem to find meaning in, fill me with nothing but sadness, confusion and boredom. I've tried to fill this void with many things (video games, anime, masturbation......relax, I'm only kidding, I mean, don't get me wrong, I do.....do it, but not because I think it will bring me enlightenment or anything like that, someone help me) but to no avail. Life sometimes feels so overwhelmingly underwhelming that I feel as though I'm gonna explode. I remember reading Quo describing our world as a mundane one, and I would have to agree. I mean, of course there is incredible beauty and love on this planet, but *shrugs shoulders*.
I guess I should probably talk next about how I found the Law of One material. Well, the story begins in a galaxy far, far away. Or so I sometimes like to think. Back on track. I'm 20 years old and discovered the Law of One material about 1-2 years ago. That's the best estimate I can give as my memory is rather horrible. BR (before Ra), I was finding existence a tough pill to swallow, still do (but more on that later), and for the most part wasn't really seeking. I was kind of just wallowing and feeling sorry for myself (again, something I still sometimes do, but we'll get there). I have always been in love with outer space, the night sky and astronomy as its one of the few things which genuinely excites me. So my journey started with me reading about all things UFOs and conspiracies. After doing this for a while and concluding that this was just the tip of the iceberg, I removed my tin foil hat, hit up google and continued my search. I think I eventually came across someone talking about the Law of One on some forum, which I don't remember the name of now. I don't remember being particularly blown away or having a eureka moment when reading the Ra material for the first time. I just remember being greatly confused and saying something like, "I'll get back to this later". After more months of seeking, I kept on going back to the Ra material, to the point where it became practically the only source of spiritual knowledge I would read/contemplate (pretty much still is). I'm not gonna sit here and pretend as though I fully, even partially, understand the material. All I know is that I never fell more connected with the cosmos then when I'm reading/thinking of Ra.
A lot of the time I feel really old, really tired and really sad. It's so so heavy here and my spiritual limbs are aching. With that being said, I think that underneath it all I am a really, really happy soul who effing loves and adores life/existence and all it's wonders/strangeness (just not on this planet, heh heh). I hope this community is a place where I can find solace and companionship. There's a lot more to write, but this will do for now.
I love you all, bye for now
10 points to anyone who can tell me where I'm from and of which density. I'm actually asking. My guides don't like talking/communicating with me, bastards, heh heh.
RE: My inarticulate/unfinished/underwhelming story - Melissa - 01-08-2014
Oh my deary, it's as if I'm reading my own story! Though I've found most of what you wrote hard to admit. I hope it helps to know that you're not alone, I often think/feel the same way.
Welcome and thank you for sharing your story!
RE: My inarticulate/unfinished/underwhelming story - kycahi - 01-08-2014
Welcome Folk-love! Relax and know that you can put aside the Ra material for a week or a year and when you pick it up again you will see stuff for the first time. Its crazy, jumbled style serves a purpose that you will appreciate over time.
Early on I thought that I would "re-write" the Law of One in a straightforward, step-by-step instructional format. I would do it for myself, because the project would help me comprehend it better, and secondly to help newbies. Not long after thinking that, I gave it up as overwhelming and also because my admiration of it just as it is grew by leaps and bounds.
I don't mean this as talking down to you, but you started a bit early (age 20) beginning this LOO journey, so be patient with yourself and with the world around you. Things will unfold at the best pace, and everybody here are your newest best friends. So check in with questions, observations and answers for others.
Love to Melissa too.
RE: My inarticulate/unfinished/underwhelming story - reeay - 01-08-2014
Welcome! You are in 3D right now on earth lol
the happening place right now.
RE: My inarticulate/unfinished/underwhelming story - Plenum - 01-08-2014
welcome Folk Love!
(01-08-2014, 07:58 AM)Folk-love Wrote: After more months of seeking, I kept on going back to the Ra material, to the point where it became practically the only source of spiritual knowledge I would read/contemplate (pretty much still is). I'm not gonna sit here and pretend as though I fully, even partially, understand the material. All I know is that I never fell more connected with the cosmos then when I'm reading/thinking of Ra.
yes I think most of us here would agree that the Ra material is one of the most undistorted sources of information that we have available to us right now. Being so undistorted (and offering a 6d perspective on 3d things) it has the ability to cut through a lot of the confused thinking and concept complexes that our society is laden with. And growing up in such a confused society (with mixed polarity and an abundance of avoidance behaviours taken for granted) it can leave someone who has a deep seeking inside without the tools or the knowledge to implement their life's deepest desire; which is in most cases, a way to serve and a way to frame (understand) their beingness and how it relates to the larger picture. For those types of issues, Ra is golden!
Quote:A lot of the time I feel really old, really tired and really sad. It's so so heavy here and my spiritual limbs are aching. With that being said, I think that underneath it all I am a really, really happy soul who effing loves and adores life/existence and all it's wonders/strangeness (just not on this planet, heh heh). I hope this community is a place where I can find solace and companionship. There's a lot more to write, but this will do for now.
awwww. yes, I think most of us have passed through that type of experience, or perhaps revisit it on occasion. But its also great when one is able to reconnect to the vitality and vibrancy of life. Life truly is joyous, although it can mightily be obscured by the lens of catalyst.
and once again, thanks for sharing your story! it's a reminder of the wonderful inspiration and catalytic power of the Ra material; which, in the majority of cases, is that thing which led us here to these forums, and that which continues to support our seeking; as it provides a different context to the perspective and questions of 3d eyes.
welcome indeed!
and here is your Official Bring4th Welcome and Care Package.
![[Image: FjmXhQs.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/FjmXhQs.jpg)
unfortunately, we have run out of physical copies of this Care Package, and only digital version are currently available.
download at your leisure
RE: My inarticulate/unfinished/underwhelming story - Spaced - 01-08-2014
Welcome Brother! Things may seem difficult and slow and heavy and limiting here, but this is definitely the place to be, otherwise we wouldn't all be here would we?
If you want to know where you are from/what you have done before this life then I have to ask, who are you? If you can figure that out then you're set, the rest of it falls into place
I'd also like to say 'ditto' to what Melissa posted, I feel like a lot of what you posted are things I've said about myself in the past