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Social behaviours. - Nicholas - 09-17-2016
One of the most objectively verifiable quotes for me within the LOO has been this one...
Quote:15.12 - The third blockage resembles most closely that which you have called ego. It is the yellow-ray or solar plexus center. Blockages in this center will often manifest as distortions towards power manipulation and other social behaviors concerning those close and those associated with the mind/body/spirit complex.
One aspect of behaviour that exemplifies this statement to me would be 'banter'. It has been mostly observed in my own work place and I first became aware of it by becoming aware of my own involvement in it. Even occasionally, on Bring4th, I have expressed a yellow ray blockage by my use of banter.
Here is a definition of banter. "Good-humored, playful, or teasing conversation." http://www.thefreedictionary.com/banter
Even the definition itself speaks of a yellow ray blockage when "good-humored" is the first attempt to define a social behaviour. I mean to be truly good in humour it should not be at the expense of anybody else, right?
And the "playful, or teasing conversation." part reminds me of this Ra quote. "Those entities which have, in some way, learned/taught themselves the appropriate distortions for rapid growth can now work within the confines of the shorter life span. However, the greater preponderance of your entities find themselves in what may be considered a perpetual childhood. - 20.25
But I digress...
What other social behaviours could fall into this category where love/light is expressed through the solar plexus?
RE: Social behaviours. - Plenum - 09-17-2016
being a good listener is what opens up a lot of this positive yellow-ray activity.
before one can be 'of service', one has to grasp where the other-self is, at that particular moment.
RE: Social behaviours. - Glow - 09-17-2016
(09-17-2016, 02:14 PM)Nicholas Wrote: One of the most objectively verifiable quotes for me within the LOO has been this one...
Quote:15.12 - The third blockage resembles most closely that which you have called ego. It is the yellow-ray or solar plexus center. Blockages in this center will often manifest as distortions towards power manipulation and other social behaviors concerning those close and those associated with the mind/body/spirit complex.
One aspect of behaviour that exemplifies this statement to me would be 'banter'. It has been mostly observed in my own work place and I first became aware of it by becoming aware of my own involvement in it. Even occasionally, on Bring4th, I have expressed a yellow ray blockage by my use of banter.
Here is a definition of banter. "Good-humored, playful, or teasing conversation." http://www.thefreedictionary.com/banter
Even the definition itself speaks of a yellow ray blockage when "good-humored" is the first attempt to define a social behaviour. I mean to be truly good in humour it should not be at the expense of anybody else, right?
And the "playful, or teasing conversation." part reminds me of this Ra quote. "Those entities which have, in some way, learned/taught themselves the appropriate distortions for rapid growth can now work within the confines of the shorter life span. However, the greater preponderance of your entities find themselves in what may be considered a perpetual childhood. - 20.25
But I digress...
What other social behaviours could fall into this category where love/light is expressed through the solar plexus?
I appreciate you explaining this. I have never understood that type of banter. It makes sense in that light. But is it actually love and light? I know some who only "teases or put down in jest" people they care about but is it actually love or light?
It somehow implies exceptance of a person while simultaneously criticizing them. I have felt a type of love through that but only once I understood it was that persons "way". It seems devoid of light, and a seeming half withheld love.
This may sound like I'm being critical but truely one friend who does this is very dear to me. It unfortunately has taken 6 years for me to most of the time tell the person doesn't really mean the insult, but I think they sort of do too. Can you tell it confuses me. lol
No judgement at all, I just would truely like to understand this so I can not be so confused by it in daily life.
I will try to think of another yellow Ray blockage.
RE: Social behaviours. - Glow - 09-17-2016
How about this common behavior.
Most do it to some degree.
We buy things we can't afford, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't like.
RE: Social behaviours. - Billy - 09-18-2016
I find the oppose to be true sometimes. By that I mean that playful teasing can sometimes help me not take myself or life so seriously. When banter is used in that way, I think it can really help people lighten up, but it can be a fine line.
RE: Social behaviours. - APeacefulWarrior - 09-19-2016
Hopefully I'm not going off on too much of a tangent here, but awhile back my guides provided me with a very interesting lesson on the energetics behind conversations that seems relevant to this discussion.
They had been encouraging me to try to embrace more directly-energetic exchanges with them, rather than relying entirely on words, because words greatly lower the vibrational levels of such exchanges. This is something I'm still working on, as I have opportunity, since it's quite difficult for someone like me who's very verbally-oriented! Then one of my guides referred to simply beaming\sharing green-ray with each other as a "conversation."
Consider this a very loose translation of what followed, because it was mostly nonverbal:
I expressed confusion at using the word "conversation" to describe this, as I saw conversation as being an exchange of ideas, such as in a debate or dialectic. They responded with an animated ideogram of sorts, with several layers to it.
The bottom layer was like a flipbook, a pastiche or montage of the sort of everyday banter you're talking about here. "Hey, nice weather we're having, huh?" "Wow, did you see the football game last night?" "You're looking nice today! Did you change your hair?" That sort of thing, the sort of standard chit-chat most people fill up their days with.
On top of that was a demonstration of the energy exchange involved, and it basically looked like a game of Pong. Two "paddles" representing the participants, and a ball of energy bouncing between them in time with the flow of conversation. With each "hit" on a paddle, it vibrated a little more quickly. ie, absolutely regardless of the actual topic of discussion, it's a vehicle for sharing energies between two or more parties.
Then sort of parallel, another diagram, but this time with the two "paddles" and a single steady bi-directional stream of energy between them. This represented "discussion" as my guide was using it - cutting out the energetically-wasteful back and forth, and simply sharing the energies in a steady flow. And on top of that, an implication of sorts that this was illustrating a "perfected" conversation, at least in terms of energy-efficiency. The process of converting the energies into words is basically waste byproduct, like how it's impossible to convert electricity into visible light without also losing some energy to heat.
And the funny thing is, this was communicated to me successfully in just a second or two, whereas it's taken me several minutes to actually convert it into words - which just further reinforces the lesson.
At any rate, the relevance here (as I see it) is that while there is a mild "controlling" factor that accompanies any bit of banter, even something as simple as "Nice weather we're having, huh?" most conversations are simply a means of sharing and building energy between two "like-minded" entities. It is (among positive-leaning entities) a method of sharing love\light via yellow ray processes, but there's also still a block there, in that the conversation could be a much more efficient energy-exchange mechanism without having to go through the yellow-ray conversion.
RE: Social behaviours. - Nicholas - 09-19-2016
@ APeacefulWarrior
Thank you for sharing!
RE: Social behaviours. - Aion - 09-20-2016
I'm not really with you on the correlation between banter and yellow-ray blockages. Yellow-ray tends to be more about groups rather than individual interactions so if anything it would be relevant to orange.
However when it comes to banter that seems to be more Blu-ray relevant, having to do with communication. The question though is whether or not it is actually always a 'blockage' because there are certainly many different forms banter can take.
This is where I see one of the greatest human challenges taking place. The challenge of both expressing yourself honestly while also being conscious of how you are being received. A lot of people tend to only focus on one of these two things but it is more difficult to maintain a balance.
I think what it comes back to is the purpose for the communication. I think banter comes in to play a lot when people feel they want to participate but maybe not invest, so they want to engage whatever is going on but keep a 'safe' distance. This is obviously different from trolling or intentionally disruptive behavior which I am not mentioning.
However, on the flip side, banter can also be a sign of total comfort. Some of my closest friends are really easy to banter with, even while talking about engaging subjects, and it feels natural. Other people are more 'formal' it seems but in general I find that once Im close with someone there is usually a lot of banter.
I honestly often think that the words are just for the enjoyment of expression and that the actual communication is going on much beyond the surface.
RE: Social behaviours. - rva_jeremy - 09-21-2016
(09-19-2016, 06:12 AM)APeacefulWarrior Wrote: At any rate, the relevance here (as I see it) is that while there is a mild "controlling" factor that accompanies any bit of banter, even something as simple as "Nice weather we're having, huh?" most conversations are simply a means of sharing and building energy between two "like-minded" entities. It is (among positive-leaning entities) a method of sharing love\light via yellow ray processes, but there's also still a block there, in that the conversation could be a much more efficient energy-exchange mechanism without having to go through the yellow-ray conversion.
I've been working a lot with this insight: for me, social interactions with others tend to be very deliberate and conscious. I sometimes envy the free and easy way others have, not with those of like mind, but with anybody. It's getting better as I accept myself more deeply, little by little by little.
I think for folks who have desired to have deeper connections with others, a lot of the "banter" seems like a barrier to that. You make small talk precisely because you don't want to know me, it seems like. It took me a long, long time to realize that certain socially-intelligent people can share the energy so easily that it really does not matter which words act as the carrier wave. There are sub-densities of conversations, I guess.
That said, I think some socially intelligent folks have just the same propensity to not be completely honest with themselves as anybody else about which energies they are exchanging. So it takes a lot of self knowledge to, if you will, tune the conversation with accuracy rather than simply using it as a vehicle for mirroring whatever issues you're going through. We've all had experiences of pleasant chit chat, but I'm sure we've also had experiences where banter became a way of probing us, a kind of scan of our usefulness to another. If you've ever been to a business networking event, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
RE: Social behaviours. - Minyatur - 09-21-2016
I'm usually very disrespectful with anyone I could call a true friend, often try to piss them off and make them lose their mind which I consider a form of art of itself and I am either silent or respectful with anyone I am not so much close with.
Socially I feel no responsability whatsoever, I really don't care whether people talk or not to me so I don't seek in any way to talk to new people or make connections with them. The people I talk with are usually the ones drawn to me and it always end up that they're people I feel open to talk with whereas I often get a form of blockage with most people where my mind is just blank in their presence and I enter an observer/listener state with nothing to say for myself. I still haven't fully distilled this "blockage".
RE: Social behaviours. - Glow - 09-21-2016
I get the yellow ray block idea Nicholas puts forth. It's a social interaction based on acceptance but only partial because it's always done mockingly. So it's not quite exceptance which would makes it like there is a hesitance or keeping at arms length kind of acceptance.
Aion I also understand your blue ray idea I guess the reason behind the incomplete communication would determine where the block is or if it's both yellow and blue.
I noticed this week when a friend was antagonizing a person who was being a jerk to everyone(including children) that a lot of the "banter" (light hearted teasing) is the exact same phrases one would say to someone you actually don't like only said to those you do...
In the situation this week my friend said something he's said to people he cared about in other situations (hike up your skirt, usually said to jokingly cheer up a friend who needs encouragment to get over something and participate) anyways when he said the exact thing to a nonfriend its meaning was totally different and it ended up in an actual physical altercation.
I'm not a banterer, I see the humour now, I think it is or at least was a guy thing because guys were not historically encouraged to be emotionally connected so being connected that way through teasing allowed some love(oh dang now I see it Nicholas) to be broadcast without broaching taboo social ideas of men not emotionally connecting.
Not being racist but I first experienced banter was with my mother in law who is British. I almost didn't marry my husband because I couldn't get past the constant teasing which I didnt understand was a form of playful relating. I still don't banter but I realize in his family it was part of the stiff upper lip British thing, much like men, for a long time emotional interactions were not part of polite British social interaction so this banter thing seems very popular.
Hope that didn't offend anyone but I find the origins interesting. I've watch a lot of British comedy and always find the banter endearing. Its certainly interesting behavior but a stumbling block for me to be sure of someone's true communication. Double speak, well it's unclear. I like clarity.
RE: Social behaviours. - Infinite Unity - 09-21-2016
(09-21-2016, 09:21 AM)jeremy6d Wrote:(09-19-2016, 06:12 AM)APeacefulWarrior Wrote: At any rate, the relevance here (as I see it) is that while there is a mild "controlling" factor that accompanies any bit of banter, even something as simple as "Nice weather we're having, huh?" most conversations are simply a means of sharing and building energy between two "like-minded" entities. It is (among positive-leaning entities) a method of sharing love\light via yellow ray processes, but there's also still a block there, in that the conversation could be a much more efficient energy-exchange mechanism without having to go through the yellow-ray conversion.
I've been working a lot with this insight: for me, social interactions with others tend to be very deliberate and conscious. I sometimes envy the free and easy way others have, not with those of like mind, but with anybody. It's getting better as I accept myself more deeply, little by little by little.
I think for folks who have desired to have deeper connections with others, a lot of the "banter" seems like a barrier to that. You make small talk precisely because you don't want to know me, it seems like. It took me a long, long time to realize that certain socially-intelligent people can share the energy so easily that it really does not matter which words act as the carrier wave. There are sub-densities of conversations, I guess.
That said, I think some socially intelligent folks have just the same propensity to not be completely honest with themselves as anybody else about which energies they are exchanging. So it takes a lot of self knowledge to, if you will, tune the conversation with accuracy rather than simply using it as a vehicle for mirroring whatever issues you're going through. We've all had experiences of pleasant chit chat, but I'm sure we've also had experiences where banter became a way of probing us, a kind of scan of our usefulness to another. If you've ever been to a business networking event, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
In my own small awareness of infinity, both apeacefulwarrirors viewpoint, and yours jeremy6d is both correct. I have had multiple times where other individuals have benevolently used banter to open up a means of common ground. However on the contrary, I have often encountered the individual that used banter as a barrier. As soon as I would engage the conversation on a deeper level, they would basically retreat. In multiple manners. I assume, and superimpose that some individuals banter is depth of being they presently have delved to. Not to say the individual could not, or would not be able to delve deeper. They at that/or now nexus they were this shallow in a sense. Many people are scared of the deeper being, like a child is afraid of the dark. I understand this to be apart of the total experience of the creator, at any given level. If we all started seeking and came awake in once instant, I believe we would hit a "critical mass" type event and the whole illusion of Earth would collapse. That is not the work I believe we are here to do. We are here to help the ones reaching, the ones time it is to rise. To the others we sustain there hope. We keep the wolves at bay, as the wolves serve there purpose of having something to keep at bay. The people you feel so bad for being "asleep". Dont, you be jealous they serve the creator. To me the Creator is a pioneer/explorer/creator\explorer\pioneer (<--means nothing just for fun) So these people asleep, are living the dream baby! We the awakened are aware of the awareness of more. Not the sleep. SO you are the child that knows the milk/bottle exist and reaches and reaches for it. You are the one in struggle, spiritual struggle. That is ok, you will struggle and struggle until the hubris dies, and the christ is reborn. This is the way.
RE: Social behaviours. - Infinite Unity - 09-21-2016
When you begin your true journey beyond yellow ray, many distortions are generated through the hubris, through the unintergrated shadow self. The hubris is a being, in its own right. So the unintergrated shadow, can manipulate/energize this hubris. Hubris is not just ego, hubris is more intricately explained in the total distortion or distorted energy field, generated by orange and yellow ray. Red of course is present in any given ray. It is totality of how you believe others see you, and them in your relative view to that propulsion. In our society many refer to it as "the mask." These masks have a certain weight/gravity to them. In that people "respect" these masks, and in return wear masks that the weightes mask around wears. This is why alot of people will change from moment to moment, when any given entity is around. I have seen some of the most "awakened" people and there thoughts, deteriorate in mere seconds. Just to put on a mask, and change roles instantaneously.
RE: Social behaviours. - Infinite Unity - 09-21-2016
(09-17-2016, 05:32 PM)Bring4th_Plenum Wrote: being a good listener is what opens up a lot of this positive yellow-ray activity.
before one can be 'of service', one has to grasp where the other-self is, at that particular moment.
I would agree and also digress that, the information available to any given entity when shaded by yellow ray perception. Would give a stark contrast, to the truth of where one is. I would liken more unto a clearer channel, and from this base, possibly could "gauge" where an entity is. The clearer channel is less chaotic and more easily managed, in that energy can flow freely. leading to green and hopefully blue ray activation, and my opinion in blue ray is the wisdom to actually for the first time understand yourself, and other-self. Another thing that is kinda edgy to me, is the fact of the entity you are listening to. Are they well grounded and know themselves? What good is listening if the communicator is of poor quality, or misunderstanding of "where one is." So you set of on a journey to help this person, only to find out the problem wasnt in England, but in America from which you set sail....
"when you done it right, they will hardly even know you where there"
Futurama- Conversation between bender and galactic Logos in my opinion.
RE: Social behaviours. - Nicholas - 09-21-2016
(09-21-2016, 10:12 AM)Glow Wrote: I get the yellow ray block idea Nicholas puts forth. It's a social interaction based on acceptance but only partial because it's always done mockingly.
Precisely. In my situation it's mostly in the work place, and working in a construction environment it is very common place. Last week my boss asked if anyone knew of a labourer needing work. My advice was to place an advert through our local job centre and connect online. I explained that was how I got a job many years ago as a labourer, to which a quick witted reply arrived from a work colleague, "Yeah and we've been stuck with you ever since!", to which there was a chorus of laughter, albeit a short one. My boss replied with "Yeah, a waster". Now I understand the mockery because I am the slowest bricklayer (my pet name at work is 2 brick nick) and in my "trade" environment it is all about quantity/quality, whereas my attitude is quality/quantity, so I am on a different page, hence the attempts to change my philosophy. I also wonder if there is sometimes some envy that is expressed through this banter because of my free spirited nature (of which another work colleague had once noted).
(09-21-2016, 10:12 AM)Glow Wrote: Aion I also understand your blue ray idea I guess the reason behind the incomplete communication would determine where the block is or if it's both yellow and blue.
Good point. What more can be fleshed out with regards to Ra's emphasis on the primary ray balancing?
(09-21-2016, 10:12 AM)Glow Wrote: I noticed this week when a friend was antagonizing a person who was being a jerk to everyone(including children) that a lot of the "banter" (light hearted teasing) is the exact same phrases one would say to someone you actually don't like only said to those you do...
That could be an example of a yellow/blue imbalance? It reminds me of the phrase "Many a true word is spoken in jest"
(09-21-2016, 10:12 AM)Glow Wrote: I'm not a banterer, I see the humour now, I think it is or at least was a guy thing because guys were not historically encouraged to be emotionally connected so being connected that way through teasing allowed some love(oh dang now I see it Nicholas) to be broadcast without broaching taboo social ideas of men not emotionally connecting.
I have a short video on my phone of our foreman and another work colleague playfully taking it in turns to smack each other on the bum with a bit of wood, while waiting for a concrete lorry to arrive. Good observation!
(09-21-2016, 10:12 AM)Glow Wrote: Not being racist but I first experienced banter was with my mother in law who is British. I almost didn't marry my husband because I couldn't get past the constant teasing which I didnt understand was a form of playful relating. I still don't banter but I realize in his family it was part of the stiff upper lip British thing, much like men, for a long time emotional interactions were not part of polite British social interaction so this banter thing seems very popular.
As a Brit I must concur!
(09-21-2016, 10:12 AM)Glow Wrote: Hope that didn't offend anyone but I find the origins interesting. I've watch a lot of British comedy and always find the banter endearing. Its certainly interesting behavior but a stumbling block for me to be sure of someone's true communication. Double speak, well it's unclear. I like clarity.
Quote:Were there no potentials for misunderstanding and, therefore, understanding, there would be no experience. - 54.7
RE: Social behaviours. - Nicholas - 09-22-2016
Gossip is another one, and I have even tried in the past to steer clear of interacting with certain colleagues that like to begin a conversation complaining about another colleague. It's challenging to remain in unity when faced with a separation issue. I have replied with things like "well we are all raised in slightly different ways, maybe that has something to do with it?" To things like "Look, I simply do not enjoy talking about other folks behind their back. It's a personality clash and nothing more!"
Arrrrgh!
What would be a more balanced response to gossip? In this scenario seeing love in the moment would allow a more channelled or intuitive response, and what if that response is ignored? Are rhetorical suggestions helpful?
RE: Social behaviours. - BlatzAdict - 09-23-2016
(09-22-2016, 06:10 PM)Nicholas Wrote: Gossip is another one, and I have even tried in the past to steer clear of interacting with certain colleagues that like to begin a conversation complaining about another colleague. It's challenging to remain in unity when faced with a separation issue. I have replied with things like "well we are all raised in slightly different ways, maybe that has something to do with it?" To things like "Look, I simply do not enjoy talking about other folks behind their back. It's a personality clash and nothing more!"
Arrrrgh!
What would be a more balanced response to gossip? In this scenario seeing love in the moment would allow a more channelled or intuitive response, and what if that response is ignored? Are rhetorical suggestions helpful?
i'm happy to risk the alienation by looking them in the eye and then just completely ignoring what was brought up. Then I'll intentionally start changing the subject and talk about something else, depending on the individual if I know them really well, it'll be able something off and random like zebras. If I don't know them, I'll talk about something less random, if i can't think of anything silly then i give my interpretation from the judged' point of view rather than the one who is the judging.
Egging that person back into the void of non judgement, sometimes works, unless the individual is obstinate or intellectually stubborn.
Side stepping is like using Jedi Mind Tricks. =̴̶̷̤̄ .̫ =̴̶̷̤̄ These are not the graham crackers you are looking for...
RE: Social behaviours. - Infinite Unity - 09-25-2016
(09-23-2016, 11:58 AM)BlatzAdict Wrote:Blatz that was a good read. You made me laugh a little, with your description. Thanks=) I can also see, how it could be effective. Like almost a metaphor. Into how silly what you brought up reflected back into there sillyness of ego clashes!(09-22-2016, 06:10 PM)Nicholas Wrote: Gossip is another one, and I have even tried in the past to steer clear of interacting with certain colleagues that like to begin a conversation complaining about another colleague. It's challenging to remain in unity when faced with a separation issue. I have replied with things like "well we are all raised in slightly different ways, maybe that has something to do with it?" To things like "Look, I simply do not enjoy talking about other folks behind their back. It's a personality clash and nothing more!"
Arrrrgh!
What would be a more balanced response to gossip? In this scenario seeing love in the moment would allow a more channelled or intuitive response, and what if that response is ignored? Are rhetorical suggestions helpful?
i'm happy to risk the alienation by looking them in the eye and then just completely ignoring what was brought up. Then I'll intentionally start changing the subject and talk about something else, depending on the individual if I know them really well, it'll be able something off and random like zebras. If I don't know them, I'll talk about something less random, if i can't think of anything silly then i give my interpretation from the judged' point of view rather than the one who is the judging.
Egging that person back into the void of non judgement, sometimes works, unless the individual is obstinate or intellectually stubborn.
Side stepping is like using Jedi Mind Tricks. =̴̶̷̤̄ .̫ =̴̶̷̤̄ These are not the graham crackers you are looking for...
RE: Social behaviours. - Infinite Unity - 09-25-2016
(09-23-2016, 11:58 AM)BlatzAdict Wrote:Blatz that was a good read. You made me laugh a little, with your description. Thanks=) I can also see, how it could be effective. Like almost a metaphor. Into how silly what you brought up reflected back into there sillyness of ego clashes!(09-22-2016, 06:10 PM)Nicholas Wrote: Gossip is another one, and I have even tried in the past to steer clear of interacting with certain colleagues that like to begin a conversation complaining about another colleague. It's challenging to remain in unity when faced with a separation issue. I have replied with things like "well we are all raised in slightly different ways, maybe that has something to do with it?" To things like "Look, I simply do not enjoy talking about other folks behind their back. It's a personality clash and nothing more!"
Arrrrgh!
What would be a more balanced response to gossip? In this scenario seeing love in the moment would allow a more channelled or intuitive response, and what if that response is ignored? Are rhetorical suggestions helpful?
i'm happy to risk the alienation by looking them in the eye and then just completely ignoring what was brought up. Then I'll intentionally start changing the subject and talk about something else, depending on the individual if I know them really well, it'll be able something off and random like zebras. If I don't know them, I'll talk about something less random, if i can't think of anything silly then i give my interpretation from the judged' point of view rather than the one who is the judging.
Egging that person back into the void of non judgement, sometimes works, unless the individual is obstinate or intellectually stubborn.
Side stepping is like using Jedi Mind Tricks. =̴̶̷̤̄ .̫ =̴̶̷̤̄ These are not the graham crackers you are looking for...
RE: Social behaviours. - OpalE - 09-25-2016
(09-22-2016, 06:10 PM)Nicholas Wrote: Gossip is another one, and I have even tried in the past to steer clear of interacting with certain colleagues that like to begin a conversation complaining about another colleague. It's challenging to remain in unity when faced with a separation issue. I have replied with things like "well we are all raised in slightly different ways, maybe that has something to do with it?" To things like "Look, I simply do not enjoy talking about other folks behind their back. It's a personality clash and nothing more!"
Arrrrgh!
What would be a more balanced response to gossip? In this scenario seeing love in the moment would allow a more channelled or intuitive response, and what if that response is ignored? Are rhetorical suggestions helpful?
I don't know about more balanced, but i generally either: 1) find a way in my minds eye to make what is being complained about endearing or (if possible) 'cute' ... then voice it happily, or 2) ask the speaker a bunch of questions designed to dig out why the thing bothers them so much (without actually 'siding' with them), from a place of genuine interest and curiosity.
Works for me [usually].
RE: Social behaviours. - Infinite Unity - 09-26-2016
(09-25-2016, 09:11 PM)OpalE Wrote:(09-22-2016, 06:10 PM)Nicholas Wrote: Gossip is another one, and I have even tried in the past to steer clear of interacting with certain colleagues that like to begin a conversation complaining about another colleague. It's challenging to remain in unity when faced with a separation issue. I have replied with things like "well we are all raised in slightly different ways, maybe that has something to do with it?" To things like "Look, I simply do not enjoy talking about other folks behind their back. It's a personality clash and nothing more!"
Arrrrgh!
What would be a more balanced response to gossip? In this scenario seeing love in the moment would allow a more channelled or intuitive response, and what if that response is ignored? Are rhetorical suggestions helpful?
I don't know about more balanced, but i generally either: 1) find a way in my minds eye to make what is being complained about endearing or (if possible) 'cute' ... then voice it happily, or 2) ask the speaker a bunch of questions designed to dig out why the thing bothers them so much (without actually 'siding' with them), from a place of genuine interest and curiosity.
Works for me [usually].
That's a nice way to do things. Not actually being bias or judgemental, At the same time of helping them "dig" that stuff out! I think that sounds like service to me. Especially since your not validating the negative input from them, in the scenario. I think back and find myself, in the past, wanting to help people, or thinking it wrong to side with them.Though sometimes I would make a comment half heartdly, or agree. In many cases I would do it just to avoid confrontation, However I can certainly see how that could be disservice to someone. I really like how you view it in your minds eye first, and then move into trying to help the person.
RE: Social behaviours. - Minyatur - 10-03-2016
True friends have a K/D ratio they keep track off across incarnations.