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How I learned to stop worrying and love the [redacted]. ;) - Bourbon Betty - 06-10-2015
I was asked by someone to write something about Antideluvians, Doctors and a game involving chairs.
So, if what I'm going to say and link n such, makes no sense, then please ignore all of it, but if there is some sense in it then feel free to dismantle for parts and blueprints.
So, without further ado, How to differentiate your medieval football riot from an actual war, and why medicine reached Roman era again, on average, 1500 years after roma collapsed.
First things first, getting stabbed through the chest with a spear, during the Roman, that is, High Fantasy, was not a lethal encounter, unless it happened in the battlefield, and then usually only because you could be safely decapitated or left for the crows.
The average human being could, and in fact does, survive a massive stab wound even in Roman times, but will it be a good life? No, it won't be a good life.
So, what did we see when that Drogon said it could save all those people; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atANB3Sbr_8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUZVrbV7Zx8
What we saw, was a medieval equivelant of a parliamentary discussion, all the rich families pile up money and wealth waiting for the proper time to get violent and turn those piles of money into an actual leveragable position. Then they fill an arena with 2 groups, the strong fans of those they expect to win and the weak fans of those sides they want... Aborted... And once the match is over the supporters of the weaker side get robbed and pushed out of the city for a while, while the new top family gets to try to hold the city, once the fighting gets underway the people of the city will slowly trickle out with as much food as they think they'll need for this cycle of violence to blow over, once its over the citizens return to the city and steal everything they need from the empty houses and once the fighters are returned from the pits, those that survive at least, slowly reclaim their previous families positions.
See, in medieval time it was relativley easy to avoid being stabbed, but it was extremely difficult to avoid being occasionally robbed.
Thats why a gentleman thief is worth its price in gold, and why a football riot was the predicted outcome.
So, what we saw, I feel, is the noble families putting all their minority supporters in a single match and then waiting for the official contender to lose and once that match was over then wait for minority supporters to make it out of the Arena and back to their bases.
The equivelant politically would be the ; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_Bloodbath
With the difference that since it was known that this would happen there was no single guarding group and the situation dissolved into a general unrest. Which while looking a lot more bloody, is a lot less bloody.
So, instead of a decapitation strike against the ruling order, we get a city wide football riot while the noble families organize their structures around the fact that violence is now accepted and should only be used to sort out political debates in the arena, while that goes on the supporters of the queen slowly trickle out of the city and start organizing a normal feast outside of the walls and once things calm down again the queen marches back into the city and asks how many people died and for a reading of losses and moves the Arena outside of the city and within sight of a few thousand archers with fire arrows and lets the noble families bring out their best "legal contenders" back to the city every now and then, and life continues on normally. The dragon lands the queen in the middle of her own sides military structures outside of the city where most of the soldiers are having a basic day, After showing her the local sights, if she wants.
In reality, in effect what we are seeing is a cosplayed reality spin out of control faster than you can scream banana hammock and people get a good understanding of why Gladiators (gold masks) had medicine on par with modern day or even better 2000 years before modern day and the first parliamentary debates in Rome about where to place the colosseum, inside or outside the city walls.
I prefer outside the city walls, with a escape shoot for the queen... for obvious reasons...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HujjNQPv2U
Quote:Political factions in Sweden[edit]
The Stockholm Bloodbath was a consequence of conflict between Swedish pro-unionists (in favour of the Kalmar Union, then dominated by Denmark) and anti-unionists (supporters of Swedish independence), and also between the anti-unionists and the Danish aristocracy, which in other aspects was opposed to King Christian.[1] The anti-unionist party was headed by Sten Sture the Younger, and the pro-unionist party by the archbishop, Gustavus Trolle.
Military interventions of King Christian[edit]
King Christian, who had already taken measures to isolate Sweden politically, intervened to help Archbishop Trolle, who was under siege in his fortress at Stäket, but he was defeated by Sture and his peasant soldiers at Vedila, and forced to return to Denmark. A second attempt to bring Sweden back under his control in 1518 was also countered by Sture's victory at Brännkyrka. Eventually, a third attempt made in 1520 with a large army of French, German and Scottish mercenaries proved successful.[citation needed]
Sture was mortally wounded at the Battle of Bogesund, on 19 January. The Danish army, unopposed, was approaching Uppsala, where the members of the Swedish Riksdag of the Estates had already assembled. The senators agreed to render homage to Christian, on condition that he give a full amnesty for past actions and a guarantee that Sweden should be ruled according to Swedish laws and customs. A convention to this effect was confirmed by the king and the Danish Privy Council on 31 March. Sture's widow, Lady Kristina, was still resisting in Stockholm with support from the peasants of central Sweden, and defeated the Danes at Balundsås on 19 March. Eventually, her forces were defeated at the Battle of Uppsala (långfredagsslaget vid Uppsala) on Good Friday, 6 April.[2]
In May, the Danish fleet arrived and Stockholm was attacked by land and sea. Lady Kristina resisted for four months longer, and in the beginning of autumn the tide of war started to turn in Kristina's favor. The inhabitants of Stockholm had a large supply of food and fared relatively well. Christian realized that his stockpile was dwindling and that it would doom his army to maintain the siege throughout the winter. Through Bishop Mattias, Hemming Gadh and other Swedes of high stature, Christian sent a proposal for retreat that was very advantageous for the Swedes. During a meeting on what is thought to be Beckholmen outside of Djurgården, Christian swore that all acts against him would be forgotten, and gave pardon to several named persons (including Gustav Vasa, who had escaped Denmark, where he had been held hostage). Lady Kristina would be given Hörningsholm and all Mörkön as a fief, and also promised Tavestehus in Finland. When this had been written down on paper, the mayor of the city delivered the keys to the city on Södermalm and Christian held his grand entry. Shortly after, he sailed back to Denmark, to return in October for his coronation.[3]
Quote:Massacre[edit]
Stockholm Bloodbath
On 4 November, Christian was anointed by Gustavus Trolle in Storkyrkan Cathedral and took the usual oath to rule the kingdom through native-born Swedes only. A banquet was held for the next three days.[4]
On 7 November, the events of the Stockholm bloodbath began to unfold. On the evening of that day, Christian summoned many Swedish leaders to a private conference at the palace. At dusk on 8 November, Danish soldiers, with lanterns and torches, entered a great hall of the royal palace and took away several noble guests. Later in the evening, many others of the king's guests were imprisoned. All these people had previously been marked down on Archbishop Trolle's proscription list.[citation needed]
The following day, 9 November, a council, headed by Archbishop Trolle, sentenced the proscribed to death for being heretics; the main point of accusation was their having united in a pact to depose Trolle a few years earlier. However many of them were also leading men of the Sture party and thus potential opponents of the Danish kings. At noon, the anti-unionist bishops of Skara and Strängnäs were led out into the great square and beheaded. Fourteen noblemen, three burgomasters, fourteen town councillors and about twenty common citizens of Stockholm were then hanged or decapitated.
The executions continued throughout the following day (10 November). According to the chief executioner Jörgen Homuth 82 people were executed.[5] It has been claimed that Christian also took revenge on Sten Sture's body, having it dug up and burnt, as well as the body of his child. Sture's widow Lady Kristina, and many other noblewomen, were taken as prisoners to Denmark.[6]
This is roughly where we return to our story, The Danish and Swedish war of "Animal Husbandry"™, once again threatening to suck in everyone else, including the Dragons. Riding that Dragon to Safety is a Crime in half her republic and Lawful in half her republic, how would you solve it, other than stare at the incoming train and go "meep"... Would you openly seek the aid of the Natives and Dragons as she did and let the violence solve itself and only intervene if possible and asked, or would you play with as heavy a hand as her historic counterpart did.
What do you do when you're suddenly confronted by a million want to be wives or a million want to be husbands, except organize a giant death-match arena for them and hope the right one comes out on top, pun intended.
Or, why Sweden become a Res-Public monarchy and Res-Privata the "mindyourownfuckingbusiness" and not a Empire, and why during the modern times its safer to be in the military than out of the military.
In short, are we now ready to accept a Danish Princess with a pet dragon or do we need to go through another 300 years of war, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoophilia_and_the_law So, in closing.
Which do you guys prefer, being told you humped a Drogon or being sent to prison for 2 years~ as a mass? I'd wager the Drogon option. If so then how about you not try to kill the one shot you have of ever being called anything except a woofie? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7VwCxA_T9w If so, then we all know the next point of conflict, don't we Mr Hollywood, we could maybe start to introduce a few more of the Dragon Eggs from Cyberspace into reality(I would recommend a giant middle finger shaped dragon) and try to hatch a few more political conflicts and... Simulated bloodbaths... Heres looking at you Ukraine... To get a few things into peoples heads about why private lives are private lives. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNMq8XS4LhE Now that we've had a good time napalming Holywood I suppose we could move onto the Farmlands of Nan...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neMm6HZhFo8 So, what did we truly see?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHXi8h8H2VA *shakes head* deathmatch arenas and chemical weapons.
For tomorrows scheduled programming, we'll have the stepsister of dragons with a flamethrower strategically placed. Oh you Drogon, you crack me up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7VwCxA_T9w And in the real world;
I congratulate everyone associated with operations Crimea and operations Karelia, I would gladly offer my condolences to those that were despite our best efforts, desirous of maintaining their own anonymity throughout this situation. I would offer my condolences for the families of those lost, but since this was an effort to encourage those states with the ultimate punishment to finally forgo such barbarities and instead offer their peoples the possibility of escape, no one has been lost in this operation, only those already lost have chosen to remain so.
Observations confirm the initial suspicion that the area maintains its background irridiated nature, as per design the radiation is small enough to be followed by sensitive enough instruments, this can now be co-ordinated to make the first population estimates of this new state and the new states of nobility for those choosing a new nation for themselves. As every new nation needs a new core belief, so does that core belief require its own distinct smell, this is what this operation was about, those who feel they participated in a war, need not return.
The population of these 2 new nations is as expected composed mostly of the two most hunted groups in the current political sphere and as such no further information about why the need of a new country for rich hated religious minorities in Europe are needed when the economy starts to go downhill and why these hated groups carry assault weapons and are not at war, is to be forthcoming.
We should at roughly this crossroads be at a safe Jumping point for the formation of the true borders of the two states. This is impossible for anyone high up to know as experience has shown that it is impossible to draw a line on a map. These types of border decicions are left to the locals and our angers at their cultures, at some point the locals can notice that the world hates them for something that is not quite them, and then they need a new country. Once a large enough people get together in the same place and realize that the human race taxes them and gives them no representation, they tend to pick up arms and start organizing defences and Militias.
The two borders should be as non continous(I wouldn't recommend linking Donbass to Crimea by Ukraine for example, but rather by Russia in the parts of Russia that this new country will certainly incorporate into itself.), prefer agrarian to urban(Build new cities, dont capture them), prefer peace to war(Act as if others will defend you and start farming), prefer untouched to touched (develop marginal lands) and prefer rich investors(Nothing like houses tourists can take pictures of and then tax you exorbitant amounts to build their owns) that want to be new locals to "old claims".
If there are no objections to these suggestions, then I call to order the 2nd grand conference on Crimea and Karelia, to be sorted before we can get to the topics of Kurills and Alaska.
My suggestion is that everyone wanting to be either Crimean (public hottie) or Karelian (Private hottie) now starts making passports and suggestions for the future border in full public view and act as if it is guaranteed that Crimea will be either a Sweden like country of the babes or it will be a Ahvenanmaa like Autonomic republic of Babes. Karelia will be designated as the area where hunting and eating reporters for lunch is legal(Karelia has eyes), Krimea will be designated as the area where hunting and eating perverts for lunch is legal(Have a sausage factory over there). Both countries will be designated as being initially full of those people who would be given the electric chair somewhere else... for doing things... and apply for a new passport on... personal reasons...
Such new countries need new aristocracies, such an aristocracy can't be created and it cant just randomly be born of its own volition around a single person, such a aristocracy can only be born around an already existing economic structure that was previously in the dark and now is being brought into the light in a way that requires a new face, how this new face is given and how much blood it spills will be the nature of the new economic cliche which will run the new criminal click will become the new aristocratic nobility of the country. And as the local communities near the border call for sides the new border gets more and more clear, you can't force someone into a new country, that is why a true new border will look zigzaggy for a while. With many fences in the middle of the country and with many people having a fairly non-existent understanding of where they are.
That is the danger of Arena fights, people actually get interested in their life and they can spontaneously understand that they've been taxed and they don't have a contender in the games despite that taxation.
That's all I wanted to say about that, if it made no sense then please continue on with the programming, I hope I hit the nail on the head and we can all get on with the Bucket of Rocks show.
RE: How I learned to stop worrying and love the [redacted]. ;) - VanAlioSaldo - 06-10-2015
You might word it oddly, but i understood this.
And it makes me feel rather sad..