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+--- Thread: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies (/showthread.php?tid=971)
RE: Sexual addiction! - Steppingfeet - 07-09-2010
Then all thanks go to you, Fairyfarmgirl! I'm really grateful to have crossed paths with "Tantric Quest". Did a lot of highlighting in that one. : )
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - unity100 - 11-10-2010
as energy centers open, and especially as 4th and higher centers open (or if you are spiritually very sensitive), it is impossible not to be affected by the stuff that flies around in the time/space of societal mind, suppressed desires, this, that and so on. moreover, since all kinds of interactions are energy exchanges, any sexual act that carries an energy exchange that is similar to an energy exchange that the entity needs will also be caught by the psyche.
in the first case, ie, catching up or getting affected by the desires and thought patterns that fly around in societal mind, the entity would need to be affiliated with them until s/he is sufficiently balanced in order not to be affected by them. tho, if situation changes (ie any kind of serious change in lifestyle, environment etc that affects energy patterns, psyche, or balance) the entity may again get affected. this is probably the kind of situation which causes detached interest in various acts. ie, you know that deep down inside you dont want something, but there is some kind of 'pressure' on you that causes you to 'want' it.
in the second case, it is entity's own inner desire and needs. entity will participate in any act desired as such wholeheartedly. and eventually (probably) will balance out and after a while wont need that kind of energy exchange anymore.
these are especially valid and real for 6d entities or any entity able to work with 6th ray. that density is of oneness, unison. and due to their native environment, these entities have a tendency to take everything from that ray's qualities. sex, is unifying for example. acting in unison. inevitably, these entities may readily feel as if someone else's own desires like their own desires, due to the qualities of this ray. and at times, even if the entity himself/herself knows that deep inside, s/he is not interested in some particular sexual act/exchange, the fixation and obsession or desire of another entity for that may be so high that, it could directly effect the entity as a solid feeling, even if the entity is aware of what is happening. because, in 6th ray, anyone's feelings are felt as one's own. since in 3d environment (especially this place, which still has strong orange undertones - which also carries possession elements or irreverence/obliviousness to others' existence) 3d entities' (or 3d entities functioning with 2d conscious) fixation and obsession on their desire may be a one way street, because there is no feedback from the 6th ray entity. had there been any feedback, the 6th ray entity's irrelevance to that desire could act as a mitigator, a balancer. but, in this case its a one way street; a 3d entity constantly and automatically broadcasting a desire strongly, oblivious to any others' feelings just like a radio transmitter.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Brittany - 11-10-2010
I've always had problems reigning in my sexual energies. I've been told I display a lot of masculine energy for a female. I think my problem is that when I feel a tremendous amount of love for someone I want to express it somehow, and sex is the only thing my brain can comprehend as capable of transmuting those feelings. I want to share all of my energy with the person and make a work of art out of it. Seeing how I've been feeling tremendous love for just about EVERYONE I meet these days, this has caused some frustration. Obviously I can't have sex with everyone that I know (nor would I really want to), and I know it would hurt my husband badly if I cheated on him at all. So I'm trying to find some other way to express such intense feelings on a level that seems satisfying.
Thanks for having the courage to share your story. I'm so glad people are mature on this forum and we can have a discussion about sex without the conversation going completely in the toilet. I've never been on another forum capable of this achievement. Way to go, everyone!
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - unity100 - 11-11-2010
(11-10-2010, 06:10 PM)ahktu Wrote: I've always had problems reigning in my sexual energies. I've been told I display a lot of masculine energy for a female. I think my problem is that when I feel a tremendous amount of love for someone I want to express it somehow, and sex is the only thing my brain can comprehend as capable of transmuting those feelings.
probably because you think merger is the highest form of expression of love. it is, but not for 4d love. its related to higher energies.
Quote:I want to share all of my energy with the person and make a work of art out of it. Seeing how I've been feeling tremendous love for just about EVERYONE I meet these days, this has caused some frustration. Obviously I can't have sex with everyone that I know (nor would I really want to), and I know it would hurt my husband badly if I cheated on him at all. So I'm trying to find some other way to express such intense feelings on a level that seems satisfying.
Thanks for having the courage to share your story. I'm so glad people are mature on this forum and we can have a discussion about sex without the conversation going completely in the toilet. I've never been on another forum capable of this achievement. Way to go, everyone!
any entity has 'sex' with others depending on the degree of openness of other entities. in the end, that act is just a merger, and if the entities are open, energies just merge. that can happen while passing by someone, or sitting with someone, or even in front of a computer with a person you are chatting.
so, its actually an ordinary matter. just, in sex, the duration is short, and the exchanged energies or merger is too significant compared to duration. so, it stands out.
you can share your energy on a soul level. from soul to soul. that would require some practice to make it work tho. its related to 6d work.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Steppingfeet - 11-11-2010
Dear Ahktu,
In pre-veil life during earlier portions of this Octave's development, two entities meeting with the impulse to engage in sexual energy transfer would, it seems, engage in sexual energy transfer.
http://lawofone.info/results.php?session_id=94&question_id=10
http://lawofone.info/results.php?session_id=95&question_id=19
Things have changed a bit since then, to say the least. So it doesn't quite operate that way now-a-days.
In which case, you might consider the possibility put forth in the second paragraph of Ra's response: http://lawofone.info/results.php?session_id=54&question_id=24
I can't say how this would apply to your life, but Ra does point to the possibility of transmuting strong red ray energy into green ray and then into even higher expression.
Possibly, then, you could take that red ray impulse as it triggers your biological drives and lift it up the chakra system to be transmuted into more refined energies of identity sharing.
I essentially agree with Unity100 that there are various ways that the boundaries of self can become permeable such that merging takes place. Consciousness is non-local and is not limited to or confined by the body or the mind or the outer identity.
Love & Light,
GLB
(11-10-2010, 06:10 PM)ahktu Wrote: I've always had problems reigning in my sexual energies. I've been told I display a lot of masculine energy for a female. I think my problem is that when I feel a tremendous amount of love for someone I want to express it somehow, and sex is the only thing my brain can comprehend as capable of transmuting those feelings. I want to share all of my energy with the person and make a work of art out of it. Seeing how I've been feeling tremendous love for just about EVERYONE I meet these days, this has caused some frustration. Obviously I can't have sex with everyone that I know (nor would I really want to), and I know it would hurt my husband badly if I cheated on him at all. So I'm trying to find some other way to express such intense feelings on a level that seems satisfying.
Thanks for having the courage to share your story. I'm so glad people are mature on this forum and we can have a discussion about sex without the conversation going completely in the toilet. I've never been on another forum capable of this achievement. Way to go, everyone!
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Brittany - 11-12-2010
Thanks Unity100 and GLB. I've heard Carla talk about similar things too...about how sharing someone's presence can suffice for an energy exchange if sex is not wanted or possible. At times I think I have succeeded in this type of energy transfer. Sometimes when that love really gets to flowing I feel like I am doing the universe...that that's all that it is is one big orgasm of joy (sorry if that sounds crude). But half the time I don't even know what to do with these physical animal impulses that are just there. It isn't incredibly strong for most people, but anyone I resonate with on a particular level, the first thing I think of is sex. Entertaining those desires would be anything but helpful in this society, so I guess it's all a matter of will power and balancing out that energy, moving it into higher centers. The animal can be trained and tamed, so to speak, so that its function is useful but not out of control. I'm just glad I've been able to control it enough to not do anything that I would regret later.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Monica - 11-12-2010
(11-12-2010, 12:02 AM)ahktu Wrote: It isn't incredibly strong for most people, but anyone I resonate with on a particular level, the first thing I think of is sex.
You might consider eliminating animal proteins from your diet for awhile and see if that makes a difference.
According to some spiritual traditions, diet can affect the sex drive. In my own experience as a vegetarian and being married to a vegetarian, as well as feedback from vegetarian teenagers, I would say that sexual impulses are just as strong in vegetarians, but the difference is in the ability to control or channel those impulses.
It might be worth a try.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Lavazza - 11-30-2010
Hey everyone, I just ran across an article that I think is relevant to the discussion. It focuses on the materialist / psychologist / biologist perspective on our evolved reward system (dopamine, etc) and how in a modern society such as we enjoy, such systems can become a detriment.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/200906/sexual-superabundance
Wow, there are actually many, many articles that are relevant on this site. Here's a link that shows them all: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Plenum - 12-26-2011
(11-10-2010, 03:17 PM)unity100 Wrote: as energy centers open, and especially as 4th and higher centers open (or if you are spiritually very sensitive), it is impossible not to be affected by the stuff that flies around in the time/space of societal mind, suppressed desires, this, that and so on. moreover, since all kinds of interactions are energy exchanges, any sexual act that carries an energy exchange that is similar to an energy exchange that the entity needs will also be caught by the psyche.
fantastic topic! and some really well expressed opinions here. thanks to all who posted ... I read with relish
I think at the heart of all sexual addiction and obsession with the other being's energy is a deep deep longing for unity.
We live in a polarised density, and most beings that are born biologically male or female carry the heavy stamp of that gender's primary energy role. That is:
a biological male usually has strong masculine energies
a biological female usually has strong feminine energies
there are of course, MANY many exceptions to this general rule (the primary 'categories' being LGBT but the spectrum goes way beyond this. Diversity is the hallmark of the Creator
)thus, as natural as gravity or sunlight, male energies will seek female ones and female energies will seek male ones. That is the way to UNITY in third density. The energies meet, and a flash of higher vibrations is seen/felt.
of course, one can get into discussions about the Alchemical Marriage, and finding the internal mirror of one's own polarity within the soul ... but that is truly an arcane quest. Much easier to snuggle up to one's partner or fire up a video file if you know what I mean
peace
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Tyler Durden Maybe - 12-26-2011
A friend of mine once said this about the idea/concept of Sexual Addiction: "No one would ever say to you that you have a Breathing Addiction would they? Sexuality is as natural and enjoyable as Breathing, yet no one has ever been called a Breathing Addict."
This saying always seemed to encompass my thoughts on the subject as well.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Monica - 02-28-2012
Related thread:
Sessions in Focus > 2007.03.25 The Female Orgasm
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Diana - 02-29-2012
I am about to say the obvious (to me), and I mean no disrespect to anyone. Just expressing my opinion.
1) If you are in your teens or twenties, focus on sex is normal, driven by high levels of hormones.
2) Everyone: it is up to you where you channel sexual energy.
3) A little bit of discipllne could be applied to where you focus your energy.
4) Does looking at porn, in any way at all, in any stretch of the imagination, resonate with consciously evolving to 4D love?
5) Addictions can be overcome. Better to spend your energy on overcoming an addiction rather than talking about why you are addicted, or continuing to indulge. The choice is yours (I am not saying it is easy).
6) One way to shift attention from something you don't want to do, is to do other, exciting, productive things. Start a business, get a hobby, go snow-kiting, work out at the gym, take martial arts, volunteer at the soup kitchen and on and on. Do not choose to keep indulging.
I don't mean this to be harsh or judgmental, only a reminder that we are the constant creators of our journeys. Imagine you are 100-yrs-old, and you are looking back on your life. What will you think about the way you spent your years?
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - 51/49 - 03-03-2012
wow , so it has been about 2 years since this post..
some good advice here
i will start with some quotes form the forum users
(03-02-2010, 05:12 PM)ayadew Wrote: There is magic in sex. A great mystery and much power.
(03-02-2010, 06:09 PM)fairyfarmgirl Wrote: Enjoy connecting with others in a way that is healthy and responsible. There is no wrong or right--- only isness and experience... Learn from your experiences. If something is not for you... simply choose again. Pull cords when necessary with love and firm gentleness. Every experience is challenge by choice... if you do not wish to do not do.
(03-03-2010, 04:34 AM)Peregrinus Wrote: To paraphrase Q'uo? I think said this, "Do not mistake please for happiness". This struck me lately as being relevant to the sexual relationships of many.
(03-03-2010, 12:10 PM)Bring4th_Monica Wrote: I don't think I ever would have minded a boyfriend masturbating when I wasn't around to pleasure him. It was the use of the porn that bothered me. In my view, he was introducing another element, 2-dimensional people, into what I saw as an intimate relationship between us. Because I did feel love for him, my heart chakra was open. I felt that his use of porn (and going to strip clubs) was somehow taking advantage of my openness and robbing my energy. It felt like a violation. I would not have felt that way had he just masturbated but without props.
(11-10-2010, 03:17 PM)unity100 Wrote: in the first case, ie, catching up or getting affected by the desires and thought patterns that fly around in societal mind, the entity would need to be affiliated with them until s/he is sufficiently balanced in order not to be affected by them. tho, if situation changes (ie any kind of serious change in lifestyle, environment etc that affects energy patterns, psyche, or balance) the entity may again get affected. this is probably the kind of situation which causes detached interest in various acts. ie, you know that deep down inside you dont want something, but there is some kind of 'pressure' on you that causes you to 'want' it.
in the second case, it is entity's own inner desire and needs. entity will participate in any act desired as such wholeheartedly. and eventually (probably) will balance out and after a while wont need that kind of energy exchange anymore.
these are especially valid and real for 6d entities or any entity able to work with 6th ray. that density is of oneness, unison. and due to their native environment, these entities have a tendency to take everything from that ray's qualities. sex, is unifying for example. acting in unison. inevitably, these entities may readily feel as if someone else's own desires like their own desires, due to the qualities of this ray. and at times, even if the entity himself/herself knows that deep inside, s/he is not interested in some particular sexual act/exchange, the fixation and obsession or desire of another entity for that may be so high that, it could directly effect the entity as a solid feeling, even if the entity is aware of what is happening. because, in 6th ray, anyone's feelings are felt as one's own.
since in 3d environment (especially this place, which still has strong orange undertones - which also carries possession elements or irreverence/obliviousness to others' existence) 3d entities' (or 3d entities functioning with 2d conscious) fixation and obsession on their desire may be a one way street, because there is no feedback from the 6th ray entity. had there been any feedback, the 6th ray entity's irrelevance to that desire could act as a mitigator, a balancer. but, in this case its a one way street; a 3d entity constantly and automatically broadcasting a desire strongly, oblivious to any others' feelings just like a radio transmitter.
a simple way
Embrace the "addictions" and "perversions" . No need to worry about "social norms/morality" ,for they are just an illusion that creates smaller illusions , which are then used to control you.(stimulate positive and negative emotions etc)
continue to view and seek the pleasure that troubles your very being. Though when you partake , take time to forgive and accept yourself during the act. Show a deep love for not only yourself,but those that you are focusing on.
Rejoice ,and give great thanks those viewed, and to the creator. Soon enough my friend , you will be reunited with your hearts true desires,and be on your way to equilibrium.
Those things that you sought ,will have served their purpose, and all that was deeply troubling you, will begin to fade away.
So long as you continue to look at the past with forgiveness and acceptance you will see that there was never a "problem" only a learning/growing & understanding .
hopefully,one day, you will be able to pursue the relationships you always truly desired.
this is just one possible way in a multitude of ways.
*note
The idea behind this "technique" is that, if you are masturbating, and feeling guilty/detached at the same time , you are creating an imbalance/blockages in the sacral and solar. If you are masturbating for the intended purpose of expressing and understanding sexual joy , then you power the sacral and solar , which ,once clear , will leave the pathways open for heightened orgasim.
People have mentioned that you can take action on the type of pornography you are viewing. Just like someone might purchase something that is "eco friendly" you can view pornography that might be much less of a burden to you, and possibly more "innocent". This is up to your own discernment , and i only URGE you not to be quick to judge yourself in what you view. If something does not resonate so much with you anymore , just understand why , and continue with what does. Also slowly try to "lighten" the amount of porn you might watch in a day.
This, in conjunction with clearing your chakras, will also help you reconnect with your creative/visualisation abilities, that "excessive" viewing of pornography can take away from you.
Lastly ,if you follow any qi gong or Taoist teachings , you will find that excessive masturbation (with ejaculation) can lead to loss of overall energy(qi) and most importantly destruction of the adrenal glands, which are a major player in regulation of your hormones.
So for a male , this would cause poor stress response followed up by lowered testosterone levels(and vitality).
there are many ways to repair this .. most that i am aware of consist of certain types of exercises(physical and mental) , followed by important herbs (adapotgens), and diet.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Plenum - 03-04-2012
great FIRST POST 51/49. (great ratio by the way).
in regards to this:
(03-03-2012, 08:48 PM)51/49 Wrote: Lastly ,if you follow any qi gong or Taoist teachings , you will find that excessive masturbation (with ejaculation) can lead to loss of overall energy(qi) and most importantly destruction of the adrenal glands, which are a major player in regulation of your hormones.
from what I understand of it, the goal is NOT to spill one's seed. The sexual energies that normally lead to ejaculation are instead circulated into the kundalini system, and the qi is depostied/stored in three bodily reservoirs (the main being the solar plexus). One is then able to (theoretically) achieve endless orgasms (the intense stimulus/pleasure/release) that women are able to, but disconnected from the act of ejaculation, which normally serves the purpose of providing sperm for the egg, but is counterproductive to long term sex.
of course, this all sounds fine and dandy, and who wouldn't pay $2000 to learn how to do this, but the practice is more difficult than the theory.
see Mantak Chia's books for further info.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - 51/49 - 03-04-2012
(03-04-2012, 02:28 AM)plenum Wrote: from what I understand of it, the goal is NOT to spill one's seed. The sexual energies that normally lead to ejaculation are instead circulated into the kundalini system, and the qi is depostied/stored in three bodily reservoirs.
yes of course , which is why i stated the following?
(03-03-2012, 08:48 PM)51/49 Wrote: can lead to loss of overall energy(qi) and most importantly destruction of the adrenal glands, which are a major player in regulation of your hormones.
anyway , i have come across teachings that state it is good to "let it out" at least once a week and in some instances more (depending on age etc).. and some say vary it with the seasons .. though we all know that way too much of this energy backed up and not yet "mastered", can start to become a "problem" ... lol
maybe later (i can be very lazy) i will compile a list of resources , or there could be a sexual energy thread related to discussions of techniques , teachings , uses, etc ...
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Plenum - 03-04-2012
ah! my apologies! I see how I misread how that sentence was constructed.
too hasty to display my wisdom (or lack thereof) of things.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - 51/49 - 03-04-2012
lol don't worry , my grammar can be poor.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Monica - 07-26-2013
This topic was addressed on the radio show tonight, so I'm bumping this thread.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Bat - 07-29-2013
A really interesting thread, thanks for sharing. I feel i can relate to this topic a lot in my own way.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Monica - 09-13-2015
This is interesting perspective about addiction to pornography.
Ted Bundy's Last Interview
...
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - The_Tired_Philosopher - 09-14-2015
If its okay, I had a few thoughts on this subject, looks like a thread already exists.
Porn addiction is damaging at young ages -cough-
I was basically molested by a girl and raped by a guy as a kid, in a less forceful, more, manipulative way that I didn't really consent to but allowed it to happen. Didn't know any better as a kid. It led me to some odd sexual areas in my life, all of which porn exacerbated. At remember a time in 7th grade. I watched hentai so often I'd close my eyes and see naked women (was actually really cool to me back in the day). I never felt guilt for viewing porn, mostly because I never stumbled upon rapey or abusive stuff but watched/read hentai or other erotic or pornographic art. (I can has cartoon character as gf nao??).
My first crush was Helga from Hey Arnold even. I didn't like people, but cartoons. -Nods head slowly- mmhmm.
But i still viewed normal porn. Then I found 4chan! /b/ was bad. Coming out of high school I got into.very weird areas, specifically bestiality and a bit of really weird s***. Looking back, I realized porn trained me to find young looking girls attractive! I was pissed when I made that connection. Many pornos and much pornographic content is about 'barely legal', 'young', 'innocent' or such and just glorifying sex with girls who look 16 And under.
This is societal even, not just porn related.
Next to that, you have porn made for skewing sexual preference into opposites. Androgynous body types being casted, websites 'relating' videos to further degradation of masculinity into femininity into worthlessness. There's an entire genre of sexuality called Sissy, its hinted at in Archer a lot, and comes up in society as simply' crossdressing' and seems to separate guys who feel female (trans I believe) to guys who are female without actually being such.
And it gets weird. A lot of porn is training to teach guys to desire to be women. Other porn trains pedophilia. Some porn trains you to degrade women, while some overlap that degradation to include the self (See: Size Matters).
Which is also another thing, personally speaking sex wise, my ex, who hates me, would still hook.up with me. That's how good I am according to the few girls I've been with. Yet I'm nothing special. But Its like a mantra, Bigger is Better. I get the idea but its generalized to be for all, when its in reality not true for all.
Porn is a self esteem assaulter, subconscious trainer, and I personally love it because I have no sex life and am highly crazy sexually active. I don't really care much for morality when watching it simply because its reality for many many people. What will you do for money? Then there's porn stars who clearly just enjoy acting crude and highly lewd (is slutty inappropriate to say???) Who personally appeal to me cause the girl who molested me acted that way towards me very often, back when I had no concept of sexuality and found her eagerness actually terrifying, I didn't want to be touched 'there' back then at all.
Now, its all I want in a girl beyond a few set things like you...you know. Patience. Care. Consideration. Kindness. Oo OH O OH how could I forget! Sanity
Don't care for looks, a beautiful mind is what I look for.
But sometimes as a guy I just want to feel emotional connection. Porn is like an outlet to a really messed up side of me that I keep in lock and key until I'm alone.
My sexuality is so vastly open, I believe in love. If two desire each other from Love, so be it. Who am I to judge their love???
This extends even to incestuous circumstances even if I think they should adopt unless they really really want a kid, there's a soul who will willingly take the challenges of any birth defects.
Same goes for homosexuality, let lesbians inseminate. Let them and men adopt all the homeless abandoned kids.
If an animal isn't being hurt or forced, whatever none of my business, do as you will.
Iused to be that way towards very specific older/younger relationships then I had a reality check and drastically changed those considerations of mine. I don't believe anychild should have sex, if you love a child that way, you can wait til they're older and see if they feel the same. But i understand many.people manipulate children or force them into those situations. Made me realize i was part of that (probably why I didn't think much of it as an issue to start with, now, different story).
I just don't know how to make sense of the massive industry of porn. It got me into entire genres of weirdness, hentai is dangerously such as is normal porn. Anything stemming from US, Japan, or UK seems to be intended for skewing your preferences into other areas one would normally never come upon.
Porn teaches racism, sexism, infidelity, pedophilia, incest, degradation of a person. The list goes on.
I'm irreparably into kinky stuff such as bondage and consensual 'forced' situations. The only porn I have ever never questioned was female ejaculation genres until I found that leads to accepting urine in porn. (Its hard to find a squirting porn that isn't faked inserted fluid or pee.)
I personally love art, sexual art is much better in my mind, even hentai isn't desirable as much anymore...
Society too desensitizes one to what porn is actually teaching.
As a guy who identifies closer to feminine energies, porn is bad. And addictive. Block that stuff, try not to let your kids watch it unimpeded...
Enough of it does mess up the mind. Trains men to desire body parts. Trains women to be body parts only.
Trains everyone into seperation ultimately spiritually. Watch at your own disgression... I was trying to quit but my imagination adds on story and adventure to sexual thoughts turned to use. Sometimes I just want to be done and sleep like any other guy. And sometimes my imagination can't recreate what porn does.
Hopefully I'll be able to take my own advice soon u-u
I grow weary of porn altogether more and more each day. Its all just bad now a days. I miss innocence being retained and real emotional connections being made in erotic works. -Sighs at open tab of porn on phone-
One day you shall be closed! Forevermore!!
...one day when I don't desire you any longer, fake world of porn...
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - rva_jeremy - 09-14-2015
Hey TTP, thank you so much for sharing. I know how personal and closeted much of this is. I've had similar struggles, but I'm not sure I could nearly as a fine a point on it as you have.
Try to keep in mind that there are experiences we have that do not make sense to us in the moment and won't for years to come. I've found that "that which is not needed falls away". Overcoming something as potent as sexual desire just charges the whole thing with guilt and self-judgment.
Instead, allow yourself to experience it, to get tired of it, to notice how fake and manipulative it is. My experience is that it takes SO MUCH EFFORT to use porn, because you're constantly looking for something more extreme or satisfying. You can't keep it up indefinitely, so I think it's better to exhaust the need than to introduce some discipline in an emotion complex that is already so tortured and tied up in itself.
One thing that's new in my experience is the power of asking. We can ask to have a different experience. It's not about "deliver me from sexual addiction" or anything like that. You're not asking to escape, but you are asking to see with new eyes. If you ask for a new perspective to be bestowed on you, it takes you out of the role of needing to have it all figured out and know exactly what to do. You can instead have a new configuration gifted to you, because instead of overcoming you focused on making yourself ready for something new and letting go of the past patterns.
Self-judgment is such a dead end, but we are where we are. I hope this helps a tiny bit.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Minyatur - 09-14-2015
What I like most with porn is the moment after ejaculation where you're put into a higher state of mind and look at your video or tabs of videos and simply find it all so unattractive and just think "what the hell am I doing..." and then close it all.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Monica - 09-14-2015
I have a lot more compassion towards men who struggle with porn, as a result of this thread.
Philosopher, thanks for sharing. I wonder how many men were introduced to sex as objectification as a child. Women too.
Did anyone watch the Ted Bundy interview?
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RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Jade - 09-14-2015
I think it's the extreme suppression of sexuality by our culture that creates the weird imbalances. It's again like what Ra says, trying to overcome urges creates weird metaphysical repercussions. We force ourselves not to think about these things, and then when we do, it's very distorted ("barely 18!" "milfs milfs" "gang bangs!"), a total over correction. I would suppose that supression of sexual urges during puberty is what leads a lot of men (and women) to chase those of a younger age - that ideal they never got to experience, that fresh young budding of consensual sexuality.
Van, thanks for articulating the attraction to pedophilia being justified by your own confusion over the actions that took place when you were younger. Very eye-opening.
I think the sexual expression problem is not one that is easily overcome with a formula, but more acceptance and love of ourselves as vibrant sexual beings. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if in the "grand scheme" that this extreme sexual repression as a society was entirely intentional, so that we can find ways to overcome that and have better and more purified sexual energy transfers in the end. Ra speaks of this being one of the big reasons for the veil.
As an aside, Japan is very repressed as a culture (they suffer from the homogenization problem - we are all one but we all must be the same), but, they do have a culture where compartmentalizing different parts of your life (work, family, sex) is entirely acceptable as long as it's hush hush. When I visited there, I was quite disgusted by all the "soft" child porn you could buy in any video/electronics store - little girls sleeping together in nighties holding each other, running through the sprinklers, feeding each other, etc - but I also think there is a fetishization of "innocence", the time before one becomes extremely sickened and jaded by the world.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Diana - 09-14-2015
There is a sideways approach to addictions and habits. That is to do other things. Get a hobby, visit friends, take classes, start a business, write a book, etc. Unplug from popular media as much as possible. Spend time on things consciously chosen. The more time you spend on consciously chosen activities, the less time will be spent on habitual actions. Then, when there is some distance growing between you and the undesirable habit, the habit will have lost some of its power. You can now see the forest through the trees better and the physical need is less.
I don't mean to make it sound easy. It's not. But I find the proactive approach always works best. The time spent on worrying about it could be spent on another positive activity. We don't like to do that as humans. I resist it all the time, but in my case, I have a lot of experience that it works so I persevere. I'll even clean the house sometimes just to stop the flow of negative thoughts. It's not that I want to deny expression, it's that I want my focus to be on what I actually want—not what I don't want.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - The_Tired_Philosopher - 09-14-2015
-Sighs-
It wasn't an attraction, it was ignorance and indifference. I didnt seek out such things, just when I stumbled upon them I never really thought about it. 4chan can troll you that way. Still though. Its one area I've put behind me. Cruelty is just... painful. Ignorance is bliss. Truth is decadence.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Diana - 09-14-2015
(09-14-2015, 03:31 PM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: -Sighs-
It wasn't an attraction, it was ignorance and indifference. I didnt seek out such things, just when I stumbled upon them I never really thought about it. 4chan can troll you that way. Still though. Its one area I've put behind me. Cruelty is just... painful. Ignorance is bliss. Truth is decadence.
If this was in response to what I posted, I din't make myself very clear.
I wasn't actually posting a fix for you, the OP, or anything in particular. It was a general comment that could be applied to any behavioral change.
Most people don't make conscious choices. That's what I'm talking about, making choice conscious and directing it where you want your focus to go. It is simply—but not easy—being proactive. The more one unplugs from the media the easier it is, though I wouldn't say it's ever easy because of our training from day one here.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - rva_jeremy - 09-14-2015
Don't think about a pink elephant.
See what I did there? You can't help but think of a pink elephant, even when I tell you explicitly not to. That's why it's gotta be about balancing and acceptance, with discipline only coming into play as a corollary to acceptance, not an overcoming of temptation.
The internet is great at making people think about porn, I'm thinking about it now. But resisting it just charges it. You're doing well, TTP.
RE: Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies - Diana - 09-14-2015
(09-14-2015, 03:51 PM)jeremy6d Wrote: Don't think about a pink elephant.
See what I did there? You can't help but think of a pink elephant, even when I tell you explicitly not to. That's why it's gotta be about balancing and acceptance, with discipline only coming into play as a corollary to acceptance, not an overcoming of temptation.
The internet is great at making people think about porn, I'm thinking about it now. But resisting it just charges it. You're doing well, TTP.
That's why I said my method is sideways, or a back door. It works. There is no resistance or acceptance. There is only changing focus. And the more you do it, the less power the unwanted behavior has over you.
I figure I can forgive myself later if I need to. Perhaps forgiving and accepting should come first. I don't know. But I do know how improbable that can be. So I don't let that stop me from consciously taking the reigns. Otherwise, it could be like psychotherapy which can go on for years and years trying to accept, unearth, forgive. In lieu of that, action can work at least on a certain level. Then things have a tendency to balance themselves out anyway.